Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Why is he ignoring me after breakup?

303 Answers
Last Updated: 08/24/2020 at 6:16pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Portugal
Moderated by

Jennifer Patterson, LMFT

Art Therapist

Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.

Top Rated Answers
PhilosophicalSailes
February 9th, 2018 4:20pm
Every guy has his own UNIQUE reason why he chose to ignore you after a breakup, nobody can decode that for you no matter how many times you try to analyze it. The best way to go about the situation is to not dwell on 'what if', 'what happened', 'what about' and/or becoming a cyber-stalker. If he chose to cut contact with you, that means its time to take the power back and focus on your self. I know this sounds counter-productive because often in a relationship, we tend to focus on others before our selves, in a break up we want to fix the thing that is broken but this is the time to stop living your life on someone else’s schedule and finally do something that has been long overdue, that's to love your self! Put the phone down and take your moment to mourn, nobody can tell to how long this should last, then when your ready, get back to being a person you are proud of because when he does return, which most of the time they do out of curiosity as to why you haven't reached out in a while, you will be the glowing embodiment of what originally made him love you in the first place. And when that moment hits, YOU can decide if he is worthy to be in your life again, worthy of your love again, worthy of your happiness again. You got this!
Anonymous
June 11th, 2016 9:51am
He's ignoring you after the breakup for many reasons. He might have problems going on in his life. He might know he's no good for you, so he's letting you go so you can find better. He might not care about you as you think. He might find you annoying. He might be scared that he will catch feelings for you if you talk again. He might be busy. He might be depressed. If you want to find out why he's ignoring you , you're best asking him. If he refuses to answer you after you ask;you should move on. He doesn't want to talk about it. Find a rebound or a hobbie. :D
Anonymous
June 16th, 2016 9:48pm
I'm sorry to hear about your breakup. I hope it was amicable. Perhaps he's hurt and that's the only way he knows how to deal with the emotions he's feeling. How does it make you feel that he's ignoring you?
Anonymous
July 9th, 2016 10:18pm
He is a bastard. Trust me he is so not worth it. You deserve so much better, Trust me you will be okay!
Anonymous
July 2nd, 2016 6:37pm
He has either moved on,on he feels emotionally weak to face you because he still has feelings for you .
purplepen
May 16th, 2016 3:20am
He probably can't emotionally handle the pain and sadness he caused you so its easier to ignore.
Gracia182
July 2nd, 2016 4:44pm
Maybe it's because he wants to distance himself from you. You are not jst another person in his life. You were special to him.
Anonymous
May 14th, 2016 11:41pm
He might be too upset to discuss the breakup, Sometimes we tend to ignore those we love because we are simply hurt and heart broken ourselves. Just give him time and he will come around, He may just be coming to terms with how the situation is going. Time mends broken hearts.
JustTryingToHelp1031
July 13th, 2016 6:48pm
Some boys have a hard time dealing with their emotions. Especially if they lost someone they cared about. Some boys tend to hide their emotions instead of dealing with them. They think acting like you don't care is easier than admitting that you miss someone.
KitPrince
May 21st, 2016 8:46am
Maybe he needs to clear his head. Speaking after a breakup isn't always the best thing even if we believe staying friends is the better choice. Finding a hobby, finding something new to enjoy is the better option. Spend time with friends and family, treat yourself, whatever you enjoy doing best. Maybe after all blows over dies down and feels a bit more calm and relaxed and not as a crashing wave it'll be easier for you to both talk again.
BlaireMack198
October 8th, 2016 3:36am
He just needs time to think about what happened. Just try giving him space and see if he approaches you after a while
0Sara0
July 2nd, 2016 10:59am
He is ignoring you after the breakup not because he doesn't want to be your friend anymore. He just need time to rediscover himself as an individual. His identity has been shaped as a unit with you. He ignoring you is his attempt to see how to function his life without you. Once he has settle this, he would come back and be your friend.
Greatlistener87
May 20th, 2016 8:16am
He probably wants to move on or has already moved on. I suggest that u do the same, know where u stand with him, accept it and move forward.
Anonymous
May 28th, 2016 1:18pm
You can’t force anyone to stop ignoring you. You just can’t control people that way. The only thing that you can control is your response to different situations. So whatever situation you find yourself in, make sure that you put the focus on yourself. Trust me, it will free you from constantly thinking of others.
Anonymous
June 25th, 2016 5:56pm
He may feel hurt, or disappointed that you broke up. Have you tried to talk to him? That may help your issue.
sereneStrawberry33
February 26th, 2017 1:40pm
There are many different reasons for this. Everybody is an individual so I can't answer for him. It is possible his feelings are so strong he does not want any contact. But it is also possible his feelings are less strong, and he was less attached to you and you were to him. This is a sad possibility, but it is a possibility none-the-less. I don't think it is ever polite to ignore someone, and it is never the right thing to do unless the person you are ignoring is dangerous. But don't assume he's doing it for a negative reason. That might not be the case. Some people just don't know how to handle a break up and have overwhelming emotions. On the other hand, don't assume he isn't just being a jerk. Assume nothing.
reeyseelbeel05
June 9th, 2016 3:13pm
He is ignoring you because he seems to be hurt. After everything you have done together. All the pain, love and memories you both shared. he needs space to accept that everything is over. He is ignoring you because he needs time to recover and compose himself.
fantasticSun
May 29th, 2016 6:03am
Some people after break ups attend not too talk too their exs. The reason most of the time is smothering or not interested in that person they were with.
TeenWolf
June 1st, 2016 9:57pm
Maybe he feels he has to move on and this could be a good thing because you need to move on as well.
Anonymous
May 19th, 2016 3:11am
He may feel stressed. He also may be dealing with other problems of his own. Try speaking with him in a respectful and kind manner to clear anything unknown to better understand eachother.
serenekindness66
June 3rd, 2016 8:09am
Because it is healthy. Its important to give each other time and space after a break up to get to a good place. You can't help each other with that. You need to rely on friends and family instead.
Alexandra96x
May 8th, 2017 3:12am
So, you broke up and now he's ignoring you. Chances are he is trying to deal with the breakup in the way that he knows how... To shut down and cut you out. Quick and hard. Men's minds work differently to women, they don't necessarily want to discuss every tiny little detail of the breakup. He needs time to process and get to grips with the idea that you are no longer together. Try giving him some space, and if after a week or two, you still want to talk to him... Maybe try gently giving him a text or sending a little gesture so that he knows you are there to talk if he would like to.
softwallflower
May 25th, 2016 7:46pm
Break ups are hard because it's difficult to forget someone who gave you so much to remember. So maybe he's just confused and hurt when he sees you because he remembers happy memories.
verboseIcarus42
May 20th, 2016 12:24pm
It's more than likely that your boyfriend feels as hurt by the situation as you are. Hurt feelings take a while to heal!
Anonymous
June 3rd, 2016 2:34pm
because it is time to ignore you he broke up with you to pay attention to some one else you need to elaborate what you said it is confusing and insufficient information provided by you
Anonymous
May 14th, 2016 12:31am
Maybe he doesn't feel comfortable talking to you as friends after everything y'all went through. Please know that this has nothing to do with you. He can't talk to you and feel nothing. Maybe you're the same but you don't know it yet !
Corpy
June 29th, 2016 7:00pm
Some people need time to gather their thoughts and feelings after a breakup, whether it ended well or badly.
UrarakaChan
July 1st, 2016 5:01pm
People need some time to think things through after a breakup. It is not a easy thing for both parties. When he is ready to talk to you, he will.
BrilliantSanity74
May 20th, 2016 2:17pm
Sometimes it is difficult to talk to people we care for a lot after breaking up. For some people, taking space from their ex-partner can be the best way to heal.
DavidPortugal
June 5th, 2016 2:17pm
A breakup is always hard for both sides. Even for the one who takes the first step. Perhaps because he's also hurt or maybe he just needs some space/time to develop new habits.