I know the struggles of chronic pain, addiction to alchohol and pain meds (due to years of chronic pain) which caused a snowball affect as my husband of 22 years decided to turn to another woman while I was struggling with my pain and dealing with all the different opiods the doctors were trying on me, but at the end of 3 years I decided it wasn't any good way to live so I asked for help to detox off all of it.  When I had finally went off the pain pills, my husband confessed that he was in "love" with a woman almost half my age who he had met online.  It was too late, he didn't want the marriage any longer and I didn't want a man who didn't want me.  So we divorced.  A year later I thought I had found love again, and stupidly remarried. I remarried 2 years after my first divorce and it "seemed" quite perfect, but nothing is perfect.    But, little did I know that he had suffered from emotional issues and when life got tough, he ran.  I wasn't the first and I won't be his last.  Nonetheless, I loved him and he left suddenly.  I felt abandoned again.  It is hard not to take being abandoned personally.  I do at times, still....  Life is hard.  Then within a year, the second husband abandoned me after a volitle arguement.   Now I realize that I only play a fool when I look to another person to make me happy.  It's my responsibility to make myself happy. 

Through it all, I can say I learned the art of understanding and compassion and hope that I can likewise offer support to others who travel down hard roads in life.  The sting of infidelity by husband #1 and then the ghostly abandonment in marriage #2.  

I believe most of us truly try our best to be happy and share happiness with others, but we live in a complicated world and most of us have past pains and emotional issues that make life even harder.  So we just need to keep trying.... be kind and help each other.  - I believe strongly that others have likewise been betrayed and abandoned and I want to lend a hearing ear.

I also know the struggles of self-injury and extreme anxiety and depression. I endured many years of emptiness and feeling void- and at the same time my oldest daughter spiraled in and out of a pit of similar emotions, but her method of coping, unlike myself, was cutting.... not scratching - I mean severe and life threatening cutting (although she never wanted to die). Her self injury was severe. I grew to understand why she sought that coping mechanism (albeit unhealthy) but after 10 years plus, she has pulled herself back up and doesn't succumb easily to her habit.

Personally- I have not had the emotional support of family  That is why sites like this are so valuable.  I can honestly say, the most amazing comfort, at my lowest points in life, came from 'strangers', for example-  someone saw me crying in a parking lot for example and showed true concern and even gave me a huge hug and expressed genuine kindness.  I see that sometimes our friends and family are too close to our lives that they can't see the big picture or worse they think they can fix us- so I hope I can help someone. It would be wonderful to have something good come out of it all.... So I offer my heart and mind to listen and support whoever I can.