I've wished I was dead for over a decade. Obviously made many attempts, and failed at every one- it seems I'm not easy to kill, unfortunately. Have been let down numerous times by the local health service and have spent the last two years doing nothing but waiting (just to be let down over and over again). Noone has ever had the decency to offer a clear-cut diagnosis- various self-proclaimed 'professionals' have suggested a variety of things- but I'm almost 100% sure I've got depression and an anxiety disorder. I have issues with getting out and about where I reside which mean that employment is out of the question. Understandably I'm also single, and very lonely. Nor can I drive. I don't appreciate people who spew out phrases like 'stay strong' or 'it gets better'. It doesn't for all of us. I am a prime example of things only getting worse.
As for hobbies etc, I don't really have any. I used to go walking, go swimming, play guitar, make jewellery, write. But these things do not happen anymore- in some cases it's because I have no inspiration. I flit from being voracious, to hardly reading. I enjoy fantasy and true crime.
February 20, 2016
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