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snoozerz2003
1 75 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2021 Member sinceSeptember 18, 2021
Recent forum posts
I have BPD and my relationship with my partner is falling apart (again)
Personality Disorders Support / by snoozerz2003
Last post
September 19th, 2021
...See more (He/him pronouns please) ive only discovered that I have BPD like a year ago, and that discovery was revolutionary for me in terms of understanding myself and why/how I split. my partner and I have been together for almost 2 years, and we’ve had two month long breaks because of our mental health. He is my favourite person, and I cling to him for emotional support, and motivation. However, he’s been going through a lot of stuff on his own (being in an abusive home, while I’ve moved out of my abusive home and am in a very nice foster home) and it’s been extremely hard for me to BE there for him when I’m constantly splitting and my brain is telling me that “he doesn’t love me, I’m just a burden, I’m toxic and I’m making everything harder for him, I’m the reason our relationship is falling apart.” mind you, he actually cheated on me twice during the relationship. The reasons were “I wanted attention that you weren’t giving me”. Both times it absolutely snapped my heart in half and I have constant trust issues with people I love (ESPECIALLY him because he lied to me about cheating until he got caught) but I really don’t want the only advice or help to be “break up with him!” Because having BPD, it seriously isn’t that simple. I don’t have a bond with him like I do with anybody else, and I don’t know how I’ll cope knowing I don’t have an idealized future with him.