November 20, 2014
What does it mean to be or not to be emotionally resilient?
Emotional resilience simply refers to one's ability to adapt to stressful situations or crises.
It is important to note that resilience is not only about overcoming a
deeply stressful situation, but also coming out of the said situation with “competent
changes in our lives (birth of a child), unexpected events (winning the lottery or death
of a loved one), developments in the world around us (poverty or crime), and daily
hassles (traffic or waiting in line).
It may not be easy but you can develop you resilience. But, here are some ways to
help nourish it:
1. Develop the right attitude.
Try to view life with action rather than with fear, self-pity, blame or a "victim
mentality." Life can be challenging but it is important to develop “positive self-talk”-
your mind should be your best friend, not your enemy. Keep repeating that everything is
okay, that you are strong and that you totally can do it!
2. Be aware.
Part of resilience is emotional awareness; it’s important to understand what you’re
feeling and why. Knowing why you feel upset will help you evict that thing bothering
you and help you manage it!
3. Be more optimistic.
This doesn’t mean you have to look at the glass half-full. You can do something to
change your situation: to hope and work for it.
4. Maintain your sense of humor and rally your social support.
Laughing helps us take things easily and decrease stress. If you sometimes take things
less seriously and laugh a little about life, it may help you manage it better! If it
isn’t that serious, you can perfectly work through it and not get frustrated. While we
ultimately face our own challenges, a supportive friend or group of friends can help
lighten the load.
5. Don’t give up.
There are a lot of ways to control your stress with diets and exercise programs. But they
can’t work if you don’t stick with them and keep trying even if you’re tired or think it’s
not working. It may take tame to become more emotionally resilient so be patient and
don’t give up that easily.
And, the most helpful tip:
- Be patient with yourself and do your best!
Written By: MelAllyouneedislove
Edited By: Phanvan
November 14, 2014
Social anxiety. It’s something 15 million people in the U.S. struggle with daily. But what is social anxiety? Well as ADAA puts it, it is “the fear of being scrutinized and judged by others in social or performance situations.” Which means you have a fear of being judged by peers in social situations.
- Meeting new people
- Making small talk
- Being called on
- Being the center of attention
- Making phone calls
- Eating or drinking in public
- Parties or other big social events
A big question is, how do I overcome it?
Good News: social anxiety is completely curable.
Here are 5 ways to better cope with your social anxiety:
1) Prepare to Relax
Try to make yourself calm at times, this can be a very difficult thing, but you should strive for it. If you ever get too frazzled or stressed out in a social situation, have something to turn to. Weather its music, a friend, or a game. Something that calms you down.
2) Build a Support System
Getting support or at least someone to talk to about this might help. Talking about it may open your eyes to see how severe or minor the anxiety is. Knowing you can lean on someone can be extremely helpful either a close friend, parent, or counselor.
3) Create Goals
Making small weekly or daily goals for yourself can really push you out of your comfort zone and get you to do the things you want to. Small goals may include: Talk to a stranger on the bus, try and make a new friend, or talk to a counselor about the issue. These goals are to improve yourself, so they can be anything you want!
4) Treat Yourself
This goes along with the goals. If you achieve something, either major or small, treat yourself. Buy yourself a cookie, go to the movie, spa day...etc. Anything that makes you feel good, that doesn't happen quite often.
5) Face Your Fears!
This is probably the most important step in improving your understanding of social anxiety. Put yourself in a social situation. For example, if talking to strangers makes you anxious, try talking to one. Take it slowly and don't rush yourself! Give a compliment, ask a question, or anything that challenges it.
Overall, social anxiety and social phobias are something that many people deal with. You can overcome it through self-help or with the help of a counselor. For some, these tips might not help, and may need professional help. There is lots of resources if you or a loved one is struggling.
Written By 7 Cups Listener: JJill2
November 5, 2014
Day 365: One year ago, I started a grief journal to remember and celebrate a family member who passed away. At first, I had no thoughts of my own and only wrote out quotes that I wanted desperately to believe and live out. This is the first quote I have written, and it became the main storyline and goal of my journal:
"Every time there are losses there are choices to be made. You choose to live your losses as passages to anger, blame, hatred, depression and resentment, or you choose to let these losses be passages to something new, something wider, and deeper." - Henri Nouwen
For me, journaling has been a large part of the self-care and healing process of filling in the void that was left behind. Having something written down to hold me accountable has been helpful, especially since bereavement is a personal (and often lonely) journey. There are no rules in journaling: no word counts, no time limits, no need to justify or even know where you are in your journey. There may be days when you don’t have anything to jot down and others when nonsensical words come streaming out. This is your journal and your story, and it is okay.
I call it “journaling" and not “writing”, because sometimes there simply aren’t words to express how we feel. Somewhere along the path, I learnt how to draw and the pages exploded with color. I have an envelope at the back with photographs, dried flower petals, notes with their handwriting, cards from friends - items that make me smile when I remember the uniqueness and beauty of those little moments. Journaling can be a helpful activity in freeing the mind from the fear of forgetting details of the person you loved. I’ve found that the more I document, the more I am willing to allow myself to explore new thoughts.
If you’re looking for additional support to walk through this difficult path, this is a great resource with daily emails that provide comfort, compassion, and suggestions for creative and healthy outflows of emotion. And as I discovered later on in the spring, connecting with a listener can really lift a huge burden as well and guide you along the path towards something new, wider, and deeper.
By 7 Cups Mentor: Jadie
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