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Do Things Really Get Better When You Come Out?

Pros and cons of coming out, from a 7 Cups member who has been there
Do things get better when you come out?

When I came out for the first time, I was only 13. For others, coming out might happen in their teen years, adult years, and so on.

Deciding whether or not to come out is a conflicting and difficult choice. For some people, coming out isn't an option due to safety or financial reasons.

If you do make the choice to come out, it can be hard to know how the person or people you tell will react. Sometimes, coming out is an incredible, gratifying, and uplifting experience. Other times, it can be dangerous, emotional, and traumatic.

So do things really get better when you come out?

Depending on how the person reacts, this answer could very quickly change from yes to no. Regardless of others' reactions, there are many pros and cons to coming out.


  • A weight lifted off your shoulders

  • Builds strength and courage

  • A step towards embracing your identity

  • Gives others the ability to have a new perspective on the LGBTQ+ community

  • Allows you to weed out potentially toxic people from your life


  • People may treat you differently

  • You could lose the support of people you love

  • You could feel vulnerable or exposed

It would be much easier if there was one textbook way for a coming out to go, but there isn't.

No matter how your personal coming out story may go, it is important to know that there are people out there who love and support you regardless.

And if you decide you are not able to come out yet, that's okay too! 7 Cups offers a safe space where individuals can be open about their sexuality and gender identity without fear of judgment or rejection.

For more support, join our empathetic community, chat with a free, trained listener, or start affordable online therapy today.

Posted: 03 June 2019
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Rose Darrell

Rose is student who was born and raised in Utah, USA. She has won many awards for her writing, and is passionate about breaking the stigma on mental illness, and fighting for equality.

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