Looking for understanding, not judgment. Carrying a lot right now and hoping to connect with people who genuinely listen.
I'm not sure where to start. I am new here. I'm feeling very alone and don't really have anyone to talk to.
My birthday was a few days ago, and what happened that day made me realize how unseen I've been feeling for a long time. Since then, I've been carrying a lot of sadness, anger, disappointment, and loneliness.
I'm married and have children, but lately I've felt emotionally disconnected from the people around me. I've spent years being the one who takes care of everyone else, and now I'm realizing I don't know who takes care of me.
I'm not looking for judgment. I think I just need someone to listen and maybe tell me I'm not the only person who has ever felt this way.
@stillfindinghome63
It seems you are likely feeling neglected.
You have a right to feel the way you do. You are reaching out for support in your time of need, That's so beautiful!
I am here to tell you that you are heard and seen.
Welcome to 7cups!!🌟
@AsherTree Thank you for your kindness. I've been carrying a lot on my own for a long time, and I think I'm only now realizing how lonely I've felt. It took a lot for me to reach out, so your response means a lot to me. ❤️
@stillfindinghome63
Yw. Thank you for being a inspiration to us by showing you have the courage to ask for more than some give you.(taking charge of your life)
@stillfindinghome63
You are not alone. There are many people that share your feelings. I felt similar to how you are feeling.
Ever since I experienced CSA I have never felt heard, understood or felt safe in my own skin. Unfortunately I was born in era where the "silent" generation were my parents. There were many attempts to tell something of what I was feeling, but it all fell on deaf ears.
Sadly unhealed trauma lead to a divorce.
You can find people here who will listen to you. The "listeners" on this platform are helpful in supporting you in difficult times. You might also find a support category that fits into what you are going through now.
@warmheartedAvocado7047 Thank you for sharing your story with me. I'm truly sorry for everything you've been through and for all the times your attempts to be heard fell on deaf ears.
What resonated with me most was what you said about not feeling heard or understood. While our experiences are different, that feeling is something I know all too well.
Over the past few days, I've tried reaching out to friends because I was desperate to talk to someone, but they weren't available. I don't blame them, everyone has their own lives and struggles, but it reminded me how alone I've been feeling.
Sometimes I wish divorce were an option for me, but I come from a very traditional family where it is still considered taboo. I was raised to believe that a family should stay together for the sake of the children, no matter how much pain is involved. So I've stayed, endured, and kept many things to myself for 23 years.
Whenever I try to express how I feel, it often ends in an argument, and somehow I end up being the one apologizing. I honestly cannot remember a time when I received a sincere apology in return. After a while, you start keeping things to yourself because it feels easier than being misunderstood all over again.
The truth is, I no longer know how to share my feelings with my husband. The words get stuck in my throat before they can come out. I think I've become afraid of what will happen if I speak honestly. I'm afraid of being shouted at, dismissed, or having the conversation turned into another argument. There have been times when the possibility of him leaving was brought up, and that left me carrying the fear of being blamed for the breakdown of our family.
As much as I am beginning to accept that I cannot control what other people think, it is still difficult to imagine being seen as the reason our family fell apart when all I've tried to do for so many years is keep it together.
Thank you for reminding me that there are people willing to listen. It means more than you know.
@stillfindinghome63
So sorry for suffering you are enduring! You can be heard here on this platform.
One thing I want to tell you that resonates with my story.......I too was "traditional" in the approach to marriage. I am a Catholic, and yes divorced is avoided at all costs. Since we were practicing Catholics participating in Traditional Latin mass, everyone we knew or associated with was conservative to "ultra" conservative. When my marriage was ending I was more or less shunned from the community. You are viewed as "broken" or defective..... it's really sad. I lost all my friends. I moved 45 minutes away in order to get a fresh start, therapy, and online community support groups have been very helpful.
I apologize for belabouring about my story, when it is your story that is at the forefront. Thoughts and prayers for you and your family in this difficult time 🙏
Please don’t apologize for sharing your story. I’m actually glad you did.
For the past few days, I’ve been searching for someone who understands, and your message made me feel a little less alone. There was comfort in knowing that someone else has walked a similar path and understands the weight of carrying things that most people never see.
Sometimes when you’re in the middle of it, you start to believe that no one could possibly understand what you’re going through. Reading your experience reminded me that there are others who have faced difficult choices, painful losses, and the loneliness that can come with them.
Thank you for taking the time to respond to a stranger. Your kindness, honesty, and willingness to share a piece of your journey meant more to me than you probably realize.
Thank you for making me feel seen. ❤️
@stillfindinghome63
You are not alone.. I have a birthday coming up and I am feeling those things too.
I feel it is normal to have points in life (birthdays often bring these things up) where we get someone to take care of us or do something for us without us asking or telling them. They should know us and feeling important and appreciated is not too much to ask.
Being the person who does all and yet our cup is empty and we feel invisible or somehow unworthy .....It hurts and we can get angry about it.. all while feeling guilty for having those feelings at the same time.
@toughTiger6481 Thank you. What you said about wanting someone to do something for us without having to ask really resonated with me.
My birthday was four days ago, and for the first time, I stepped back and didn't prepare anything for myself. I didn't remind anyone or organize anything. A small part of me hoped that my husband would notice and make some kind of effort on his own. I wasn't expecting anything grand. Honestly, even a simple hug would have been enough to make me feel loved and remembered.
Instead, nothing happened, and I ended up sleeping through most of the day because it hurt less than staying awake.
I think that's what has hurt the most, not the birthday itself, but realizing how invisible I've been feeling for a very long time. Your words about having an empty cup after always being the one who gives really hit home. Thank you for making me feel a little less alone in that feeling.
And advance happy birthday. I sincerely hope your birthday brings you the love, appreciation, and kindness that you've shown to others and that you don't end up feeling the way I did on mine. ❤️
@stillfindinghome63
First off, welcome and happy belated birthday
Know that you do matter and here on Cups you are seen. I've felt the same way for years.
Dm me same to me
Am lonely need someone to talk too
@sociableKiwi4537
HI Kiwi,
Unfortunately Cups does not have private DM's.
All open chats with no judgements.
If you want private chats, you can reach out to a Listener, those chats are private.
Welcome to Cups.
We should talk ..im.sorry you are dealing with this..
@stillfindinghome63You are SO not alone in this life. I'm also married and have 3 children, 1 grandchild and 2 on the way. We're a loving family, but I feel exactly the same way you describe regarding the emotional disconnection, and I also feel that I'm the one carrying all the burden.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I too am walking this path and I find myself giving to and taking care of others to the point of exhaustion yet when I need someone it is crickets. I am learning that I matter too. Not more, not less. Often deal with non-reciprocal relationships including friendships. You deserve to be cared for too. You are not your household's firefighter. It is okay to rest, it is okay to say no, it is okay to put yourself first. If others will not see you, show up for yourself. Sending gentle hugs. All your feelings are understandable and valid.
