Argus57 Eagle 2016
on January 3rd

I Can't Find Satisfaction In My Awards

Hello.  I've won several trophies in Tae Kwon Do for getting a new belt after passing the tests, won a trophy for mathematics, and a trophy for winning a basketball championship.  I've gotten several academic awards.  Those trophies/awards don't mean anything to me.  I see my friends winning stuff, but I am not content with what I've won. 

I really want to win something that I personally wanted to do, not something my parents put me in.  A few years ago, I was considering putting one of my model aircraft I built and painted in a modeling competition, but I never got to do that.  I was confident in my plane, but didn't go to the competition.  Partially because of more experienced people who would win instead of me.  I'm afraid of failure.

My goal now is to win a big R/C car championship.  I bought a pretty expensive nitro R/C short-course truck, and I race it every day.  It's been 3 weeks since I've bought it.  For once, I don't feel confident in winning a R/C competition.  I don't feel good enough.  I really want motivation to go to some smaller R/C races and practice more.  I don't know what to do!  I really want to be proud of something for once!  But there's way better drivers than me.  They can handle a R/C car better than I can.  I don't want to be disappointed when I don't win.

Any advice?

ThroughPainComesGrowth Dolphin 2018
on January 19th

@Argus57

Do you race because you want to win, or do you race because you enjoy racing?

Extrinsic motivators (winning, awards, trophies, money, attention, fame, etc) are never going to satisfy you, no matter how much you get them. Focus on what you want to do because you enjoy the activity, not because of what you think you can get out of it.

Do you want to win at something that actually matters, and will pay off in the long run? Focus on winning at life. Find something you are passionate about and go after it. Forget about the awards. Forget about what other people think and want. The only person you need to compete against is yourself. Be a little better than you were yesterday. Be even better tomorrow. And the next day, and the next. 

If you can do that, some day you will have a room full of trophies. You won't care. You won't need them. You won't need random objects to tell you who you are, or how good you are. They're just things. Things can't make you happy. Other people can't make you happy. You can't make yourself happy by trying to make other people happy.

Satisfaction comes from within.

rebecca947 Penguin 2015
on February 17th

@ThroughPainComesGrowth

Very well said and thought out! I completely agree- intrinsic motivation is what will pull you through, not extrinsic.

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