Too afraid to get a job
My dad is self made. He is extremely smart and has created a business that has been my family's sole source of income for the past 15+ years.
I am extremely thankful my parents have worked from home my whole life and weren't gone all day, however this mindset that my dad has about creating your own business and never working for anyone but yourself has created a lot of pressure from him when it comes to me getting a "normal" job. I've had 3, first one was at a toy store when I was 18. Every time I mentioned I was applying, had an interview, or got the job my parents were both disappointed that I'd be so busy at work, and couldn't be at home with them or take trips with them. I understand where they are coming from, however I have no idea how to start my own business, or work for myself. I really enjoy a set schedule and when I'm off, I'm really off.
Now, I've moved out with my girlfriend and a roommate and I am out of a job. I left my last job in September and haven't had one since, despite the fact I've been applying to somewhere almost every day. I have this extreme anxiety about applying because if I actually get the job , I'll have to tell my parents that I have again gotten a "normal" job and that I wouldn't be working for my dad's business.
It makes me really sad that I don't feel the support from my parents when it comes to making money for myself.
Hi @AutumnLeaves95 . Parents expectations are really difficult to handle. There are no easy answers.
I am not sure if you are working for your father's business but if you are is he a good boss to work for. Maybe he wants to have you take over the business at some point. It might pay a lot more than working for someone else.
On the other hand if they expect you to create your own business, that is not easy.
I am not sure if this will speak to the issues you have with your family, but it has helped me. https://www.7cups.com/family-stress/
@soulsings thank you for your response, I really appreciate it!
My dad thinks much differently than I, and has a different work ethic. He could pass a test without studying for it, type of smarts. I on the other hand need very clear instructions that I can memorize in order to get a job done. So in the past when we've discussed having me join his company, he never trained me or told me what I'd be doing exactly..so that made me realize how difficult it would be to work for him.
I am beginning to think it's time for that discussion again however, and try to express how I feel, whether he hears it or not.
@AutumnLeaves95
When visualizing our future, not everybody can say this is what I want to be doing, and even those who can, often change their minds once theyre there, or even along the way. Thats totally human.
Brick and mortar businesses are hard to establish and be maintained in this era— a lot of business is moving online. Your father set a great example for you, but his path is one of many that could be viable for you. His path isnt yours. I can see why your parents have such high expectations of you— they know what youre capable of, and what your potential could be. However, not everybody wakes up one day like I am going to be the CEO of my own company, everyone has to follow their own journey.
There is nothing wrong with getting a normal job. Not having that support or encouragement must be frustrating when there is nothing shameful about earning a living in the most common way— applying for jobs within existing companies.
Maybe this would be a great time to figure out what your core values are— because when we pursue a path that aligns with our values, were often satisfied no matter where it takes us. It influences what were working toward.
This is a site that gives you an idea of how to figure out what your core values are, and there are many more like them, so feel welcome to browse around if youd like to see what else is available to you: https://www.cmu.edu/career/documents/my-career-path-activities/values-exercise.pdf
This is your life to live. Best wishes, my friend.
@zaatarHoney wow, that PDF you posted is amazing and I will definitely do the writing excercise.
Your response actually made me tear up a little just reading the words, it's okay to get a normal job, meant a lot. Sometimes I have a habit of turning my tiny fears into huge monsters and I forget the true issue is really a small one.
I also remebered a tool I learned in a program I attend that says , "Don't should yourself" , meaning don't keep saying I Should do this, I Should be doing that...
@AutumnLeaves95
*Huuugs* Awwe! If youd like to update us on your core values, I know I would love to see them!
I have the most faith that youll find the right path for you— even if sometimes, it doesnt make sense to anyone else around you. This is your time to go through your own process— where you can try and fail, pivot, try again and succeed.
One day, youll look back on all the memories youre creating right now because theyll have impacted the person you become.. so never give up and as you recognize your strengths and assets, never sell yourself short. ♡
~zaat