lots of suffering in my life

Yesterday I went to this pub where they practice languages. Girls and guys come, but they also drank beer. I dont drink alcohol. And I was talking to some girls to be sociable, but then some guys began flirting with the girls, and I felt so much pain.. throw all my years of isolation, i always felt this pain, this feeling that I will always be alone, this pain, like you are left to rot.. this pain that life is was just to be watch and not to take part.... this pain... that no matter how hard I will try to interact with women I will always fail... and be left alone, now I am older, so the pain is even bigger and bigger... it hurts so much... I went alone to this pub ciclying for around 20-25 mins . I bought this speakers to listen to some music to not feel so depressed and lonely ciclying alone on the night, but on the way back the pain was bigger.