How can I get my dad to listen to my mom?
Hi :) I have a small question.
My dad grew up in a very patriarchal environment as the eldest son and kept this attitude when he made a family. All my life, every decision was made by him.
Everything my mom wants to do, she has to ask my dad. Anything she buys has to be approved by him, and she's wanted a job since forever, but he won't let her and says that housework is her job. If she goes to bed early because she's tired, he calls her boring, but if she wants to have a conversation, she's too talkative. When he does ask for her company, it's because he wants to take her to a work dinner to make him look better. He treats her like a lesser being, even though spouses are supposed to be equal to each other.
My mom is always telling me that she won't leave him because she doesn't want to go through divorce and they still get along sometimes. She says that my dad's lucky he married her, because another woman would've left him long before now and she wants to do so too but won't. Whenever my mom asks him to listen to her, he just scoffs and says he does. He won't take me seriously, either. What can I do?
@mhevesen
I can relate to your story. It's similar to my story growing up. It sounds like you love you mom and want to support her as much as you can. It also sounds like you want your dad to be as supportive and empathetic to you mom, too. I'm not sure you can change your dad's ways or your mom's mind about divorce. Sometimes, what seems obvious to us as a solution isn't easy for others to see. In relationships, it can be difficult for us, on the outside of the relationship, to know for sure what's going on inside the relationship. I think you are doing all that you can by offering your love and kindness.
