In search for an appropriate listener for me

Hi there!

I am Faye, 28 from Greece. I became a member just two days ago and I find myself feeling really relaxed, welcomed and also motivated while in here. The way emotional issues are approached in here is very similar to my way of thinking.

Till now I didn't manageto find a listener to make the kind of conversations I need (or at least I think I need). This is because the worst of times are now behind me. There is balance now in my life, I am a lot more in sync with myself, I know me a lot better, but I still have things I'd like to figure out. So, I am posting this thread to save up the time of listeners that need it for more serious cases.

A bit of my story: I did manage to get through manic-depression symptoms that startedwhen I was 19 and lasted 5-6 years. My worst came when I was around 23 when I felt that two or three more crises would led me to try and end my life, something I was thinking about and wishing for a lot. I was eager to get better, I wanted to feel better, I asked for help, and my analytical thinking and constant search for reasons and whys, brought me step by step out of this dark time ofmy life.

Anyone who has experienced a similar pathmight also know how tiring and draining fighting with your own negative self can become. So after a long time, shady things still lurk inside but the triggers are very rare. "At last!" someone would exclaim. This sense of relief and having responsible control over your emotions and actions is absolutely wonderful. But the shady things lurking inside do impact you in a negative way, even in the slightest. A bit less motivation here, a bit more reluctance there, some bitterness left about people who hurt you but haven't changed no matter how much you've changed... But it is tiring to start this process of digging again, especially after you are really happy with what you have accomplished and how you have turned your whole life around.

I know that in this time of my life, psychoanalysis would be the best for me. But seriously, sorry that I say this, real life sessions with professionals cost. A lot. :(

I also know that with starting venturing again and exploring myself on the speedy lane (since it will be engaged by a fellow human being) might shake things up a bit and potentially bring emotional challenges, again. But I had worse and I have faith in me. And I know that havingnegative feelings isalways the first step to finding their source. They are like beacons in a foggy place.

So, I would appreciate it very much if listeners willing to hear me out posted a reply. Keep in mind I wouldn't post this if worrying things weren't occupyingmy heart.

Thank you for reading. :)