Looking for a long term listener

Hello, I have been through a lot in the last few months ex girlfriend and I had to make some tough decisions that I feel contributed to our break up, it's fathers day today and I know I'm not one but I could have been a few months from now had the right choices been made. I miss my ex very much and when we do talk sometimes it feels like we could strengthen our bond and repair our relationship but also it just doesn't seem like she cares to. I'm going through a lot and the only person I want to talk with about any of it is her and she is...gone.

I guess I'm looking for someone who understand what I'm going through maybe through first hand experience or just empathetic, someone who can help me navigate these uncharted waters i'm in with my ex and help me understand what she is going through (there are mental issues on her end that make the break-up not so easy on me to deal with) I just want someone to listen and understand and help me if they can.