Idk who i am
I dont know who i actually am. I think i tend to mimic whoever i spend the most time around or whoever i admire (this includes their mannerisms, vocabulary, the way they carry themselves,etc.) I find i have a hard time forming my own opinion on things and i need to seek others approval to make sure its the "correct" opinion. (Like what??). Ive found that i struggle to feel comfortable around others and i have a hard time fitting in. I feel like im just a lump of flesh when im on my own. I see ppl that make me think "i want to be them - theyre so cool." I dont feel satisfied with any of my own accomplishments and i dont belive that im particularly smart or have anything remotely good to offer. I wonder if this is just part of growing up or not. If anyone has advice to "find myself" and be my own person, id really appreciate it.
@diplomaticAvocado1390
It is normal to observe and pick up habits hopefully good but sometimes bad from others........ try their way of looking at things etc .... but in the End ...... you know when you are faking and may not agree with them on all points when you start to see your own boundaries and own lines in the sand...... then you know who you are....
i think when a person is young or even not so young if they have not fully examined their ideas on things this is normal behavior........if it just continues then you have an issue.
Hello Avacado!
This is super relatable to me. I often mimic and a lot of how I act in many social situations feels like performance. I think part of this is because social situations make me uncomfortable so there’s some disconnect as I feign confidence, but part of it is also… just really human.
It’s human to adopt social mannerisms from those around you, whether it be consciously or unconsciously! Some attribute it to neurodivergence, but it’s also common with those who are neurotypical.
Point being—I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, nor do I think it makes you any less you. The conglomeration of phrases that you’re adopting are unique to you, the way that you employ them is unique to you, it’s all a sign of what’s important to you and what sticks with you.
So, it’s all still you!
I think that, if you’re looking to connect with a different side of you—the ‘you’ that you are when you’re not connecting with others socially—some thing that may help would be to journal while alone. I personally do this a lot and it’s really shown me how I speak/act/think when not in conversation with others. There’s no need to perform, so I tend not to! Then, in social situations in which I want to be more of this version of myself I can recall who I was while I was home alone writing/talking about, idk, the Last of Us or whatever, and I can bring some of those mannerisms/behaviors into the social situation.
I’m sure there are other ways of going about this, so I encourage you to keep talking about it and asking around, but hopefully this helps a bit. And know you’re definitely not alone!
All the best,
Quirk
The fact that you know all of this means you can change!! Most people aren’t this self reflective, so you are a step ahead of the game. Since you know how you are, and you don’t like it, the next step is finding ways to change.
For example, I was the same way about having others’ opinions. Then, I began writing down what I actually believed. Next, I tested out disagreeing with people and having conversations. This was so fun! I even began to change others’ ideas. The first step can be daunting because change is uncomfortable, but once you realize it can happen and feels good, you’ll never go back to the old way you were.
You can change; you can do it!! 😊
