Should I stop wasting people's time?
I'm hopeless. I was bad when i joined this site a year or so ago and i've only gotten worse.I'm never going to get better so why should i keep wasting their time and energy and care?
If chatting and sharing your struggles on this site helps you feel relieffor a little while, then it is most definitely not a waste of time. I understand that you feel like you're not going to get better, but that doesn't mean that you can't chat with people on this site. We're not mental health professionals, so we're not necessarily going to be able to make you better. If you're struggling with a lot of mental health issues, then it's recommended that you go to a psychologist or psychiatrist and get therapy and/or medication. We're just here to listen. :)
Also, just because you haven't gotten better yet doesn't mean that you won't. You don't know the future.
But I've never gotten better. people have told me "someday it will all be better" but for three years its just gotten worse and worse my family doesnt and cant know whats wrong and i cant drive alone, and there are no therapists that i know of that are nearby.
Would you like to tell me more about what you're struggling with? And why is your family not allowed to know what's wrong?
I struggle with self harm constantly and my thoughts of suicide are stronger and more frequent, as are my panic attack. I feel alone and I feel like all my friends are starting to hate me and my family can't know because they can't know anything they'd get angry at me or laugh and say I want attention they can't know. I'm not the right gender and I deal with severe self-hatred because of it and I really feel like I deserve to die anywaysbecause I've hurt people.
hi, I am so sorry you are feeling no better. Sadly you are in very good company. Good people who have been feeling pain for a long time. Seemingly making no progress. You think you are wasting people's time. What if someone feels less alone because she or he read your posts? They too suffer and feel they are not the only one when reading your words?
What if someone has walked this path of pain and their heart feels better reaching out to you? Even if you do not feel better over the year, I do not think for one minute you are wasting anyone's time. Although I do understand the feeling.
Sometimes we can be kicking around this earth for reasons that would surprise us if we knew. So maybe you are doing better than you thought. Just by what you do to keep going. Its a thought to consider. I tend to look at things in more of a metaphysical way. So forgive me if my words do not make sense. Or are in opposition to what you think,.
I sort of understand.... Thank you.... But I still feel like I'm mainly a waste of time for most listeners.....
You're not a waste of time, sweetheart (@chainedwings). You're in the darkness now, though. I'm in it too (I go in and out), as are so many people who will read your words (many won't even respond).
Here's what I know....and a therapist can't tell you this....there is more to this world than you can see at the moment. All of your friends and family don't get you, and you're in pain, and feeling worthless...and yet....there is more.
People used to tell me that when I was feeling alone, and it just confused me honestly. But now I've had some life experiences, and I'm blown away with what I didn't know just a few years before. Hang in there....read everything you can in philosophy and religion and look for a common thread.
What you do is totally your choice....but why not have a good look around and see what more there is?
I understand what you mean, and you're right..... But I feel like it will never happen for me because I don't deserve it. And I'm tired of waiting for things that never come.
see? I take everything and make it negative or discount it there's no way I could ever be happy....
Well, this site is still a good place for you. We've all been there, truly.
I'm glad that you realize when you're being negative. The negative thoughts are just your brain. It reacts to the food you eat, how much sunshine and exercise you get, and the media you take in (and there sure is a lot of mental pollution in the media). Sometimes, it (the brain) just rattles off ridiculous stuff that doesn't even make any sense. Have you ever just sat quietly and written down the stuff your brain comes up with? Try it - it's amazing.
But the brain is just an organ doing it's job. It keeps things running, and filters the environment for you. Try to imagine a life where your brain gives equal attention to everything that happens around you. Crazy making. We need a filter. Right now, there are a hundred things going on in the parking lot of this building....if I gave equal attention to it all, I would never be able to write this post.)
But, sometimes we get tortured by our brains because we're out of balance (see above about food, exercise, sunshine)....but here's the thing...the "one" who is tired of the negativity....that is, I believe (and millions of people throughout history believe)...your soul. Again with things a therapist can't tell you....you really are a soul having a human existence. Some people call the soul your "consciousness", or your Self....whatever...I believe it's the part of you that existed before you were born and will continue after you die).
In the meantime...no rush, right?...it's a really good start to recognize the negative thoughts and distance your Self from them. Realize that they - the thoughts - are not the real you.
Then, you can start to examine things your brain has convinced you of, over time, that may be stopping you from living more, loving more, finding peace.
Hope that helps a little, friend. Good luck.
