Looking for my old listener

Hi. I don't know if I'm allowed to ask this here so please remove if I'm not.

A little over a year ago I used to come here on a daily basis to talk to a listener. I built up a really good level of trust with her and she helped me out of a real bad situation. Because of my situation at that time I didn't ever join as a member in case my Internet use was being monitored.

I came back here today as a member in the hopes of talking to the same listener again. It was agreed that I would come back at some time in the future as I had issues that I would need help dealing with.

The problem I have is that I can't find her when I search listeners. I have no chat history because of not having a member accout back then.

Is there a way of finding out if she is still here but maybe on a break? I could really do with her support right now. I don't think she had any intention of leaving but I understand that some listeners do need to leave.

I won't mention her name here as I know we aren't supposed to, but if someone who could help me with this could message me, I'd be so so grateful.

Thanks for reading