@blueSquare7187 well, first of all, it's great that you're opening up about all of this. It's not easy at all to figure yourself out, and it's something that gets more and more confusing the more you ignore parts of you that are hard to come to terms with it. But it all come back up, eventually.
It kinda sounds like you've always tried not to look too deep into things, for as long as you could avoid it: if there was an easy explanation for what you were experiencing, you've always tried to go for that instead of questioning it further and trying to untangle something that was more complex. You might have been influenced by your experiences, or an environment that didn't make it exactly easy for you to explore yourself more, or maybe you just didn't need to question things further at the time.
But if you feel the need to do so now, it's good to explore your feelings more. I don't have any answers for you, all I can tell you is to try to explore whatever doesn't feel right and what could feel better instead. You've focused on your sexuality first, and then your gender expression and identity, so it might be worth asking: are you happy the way you are right now? Or is there anything else that could make you happier? You can experiment with the way you present yourself with people, you can picture yourself in different scenarios and explore them as much as your current situation (having a partner and all) allows.
You might be non-binary, or you might even lean more towards being a man, but just haven't really allowed yourself to consider it a possibility. Or maybe, you just don't identify with a stereotypical feminine identity, and just have your own, non-typical way of being a woman. Some of the things you might do to figure this all out would be experimenting with your appearance, with pronouns, introducing yourself in different ways and seeing how that all feels to you.
As for your orientation, if you seem to be quite settled for bi/pan, that wouldn't change even if you eventually foudn out you don't fully identify as a woman. Yes, you've mainly had male partners, but your orientation is about what you feel rather than what you've experienced: if you could be potentially be attracted to more than one gender, it doesn't really matter if you've only had the chance to date one. Of course, once again, if you feel like you need to experiment in order to be sure, that's a valid choice - although of course, having a partner can complicate that. But, really, your feelings are enough for you to determine what you are.
Long story short: I don't really have an answer for you, you're the only one who can figure yourself out, but questioning is the first necessary step to find your own answer. Don't be afraid to explore, never settle for the easy, immediate answer, and don't leave any scenario or possibility unconsidered.
Don't stress yourself out, either - questioning is good, but it can get exhausting, so give yourself some time and don't rush into things.
As a fellow queer person, I hope you can find your answers!
