Dating or just friends?

I met this girl on Reddit, and it turned out we live only a few minutes apart and share the same interests — especially motorcycles. Within a day of chatting online, we met in person at a motorcycle shop and ended up spending the whole day together. At the end of that first date, I tried to hold her hand and go in for a kiss, but she made it clear that touching was off-limits for her, which I understood since it was only the first date.

On our second date, I asked her directly if she even liked me, because she still avoided physical touch and even hugging her felt like pulling teeth. That’s when she told me that physical affection is very intimate for her and that she wants to be friends before dating. I told her I couldn’t do that — that I didn’t just want to be friends — and we hugged goodbye. Later that day, she texted me saying she thinks she isn’t over her ex and another guy she saw about six months ago, who used her sexually and left after a month. I understood that pain, and after thinking about it, I texted her back saying I’d be open to being friends first as a way to build something real. She was happy about that and said she didn’t want to lose me, that she loved being around me, and that she felt we were on the same page.

Leading up to our third date, things turned more intimate. Our phone conversations got sexual — she asked me questions about sex and relationships and even sent me a couple of ***. She told me that on our upcoming date she wanted to hug me, kiss me, and give me oral by the water, but she laughed and said she could only do one, not all three, even though she wanted to. I told her honestly that even just holding her hand for five seconds would make my night.

Then, out of nowhere, she started texting less — short and dry messages on Thursday and Friday. Saturday morning, the day we were supposed to go out, she texted saying that she thinks what she wants right now is friendship in general, and that she probably won’t end up dating me. She said she doesn’t want me to keep getting close only to get hurt. The “I think” and “probably” made it sound like she wasn’t completely sure, and I reminded her she had confirmed the date the night before, so I still wanted to see her. We ended up going out anyway, talking at a park, and I told her she was worth the risk and the wait.

What made it confusing is that she’d already called me “husband material,” joked about checking me out when I took off my sweatshirt at dinner, and during that same hangout — even after saying she wanted to be “friends” — she talked about marriage, gender roles, and partnership. She told me that she trust me and that only people she trust in her family get to see like 60% of her and that the other 40% of her is just utter stupidity but between us it's our own joke that we're *** so it was her way of connecting I guess. We agreed on almost everything, and she even said we should come back to that same park next week to see the sunset and grab pizza. She also mentioned she’d love to make s’mores with me sometime in my backyard since she’s never had them before.

When I dropped her off, she said it was a good day, gave me two thumbs up and a hug, and as she opened her door, I asked, “I’ll see you next Saturday?” She said, “Yeah, we’ll talk.”

Since then — Sunday through Tuesday — her texts have been dry again, just like after she sent me those *** two days before our third date. On Wednesday and Thursday, she hasn’t replied to my last two messages, where I told her I had a rough day but would rather tell her in person over pizza, and that I was sorry if I seemed distant. I also mentioned Saturday around sunset again, asking her to let me know when she could. She hasn’t responded yet, but she did mention before that sometimes she goes a few days without texting anyone, which I’ve been trying to respect.

I’m thinking about reaching out again Friday to confirm plans for Saturday since she was the one who suggested we go back to the park and get pizza.

She says she wants friendship, that she’s scared to get hurt again, and that she needs to take her time — but she still flirts, asks sexual and relationship questions, and acts like we’re dating whenever we’re together.

So my question is: do I keep seeing her and hope she heals from what’s holding her back and eventually takes a chance on me? Because she knows I like her, and I’ve told her I know she likes me too. I can tell this fear is what’s in the way, not a lack of interest — and when I said that, s

he didn’t deny it.