Need some advice
I am Catholic and am trying desperately to abstain from intercourse before marriage as it’s something big for me. I was trying really hard to please my fiancé so I would give in a lot to him. And afterwards, it would make me feel so horrible about myself. I would go crying to confessions all the time just to end up doing it again. My fiancé liked using condoms (us Catholics are against those) but I bought some for us to use. I left them in my purse. I gave him one to use one time and just forgot about them kind of. I didn’t want to mention that I bought the condoms because it was embarrassing for me and also make him think that it’s okay for us to do that all the time as I’m Catholic and have told him I didn’t want to do that. There would be times when I would forget my purse so we didn’t have those. He would ask me if I had any and I said no because I forgot my purse so we wouldn’t do it. Well we stopped doing that for a month or two because he decided to respect my wishes and I went over recently and left my purse. (I still have those condoms but I was going to throw them away since I don’t use them and won’t but I kept forgetting to). He went through my purse because he was curious and now he’s mad that he found the condoms in my purse and he thinks I’m cheating on him. I tried to explain everything and my whole thought process on it but he doesn’t believe me. He just said it didn’t make sense that I wanted to wait until marriage but have condoms in my purse. It was because I was trying to please him and I just didn’t want to do that so I never told him about it and wanted to get rid of them. I don’t know what to do.
@orangeVase6516
You wanted to save yourself but gave in ...... you have bought items to be safe for those times which is smart then want to stop etc. Maybe you should decide one path and stick to it. what do YOU want ... not what your religion tells you ... what you think others want you to do ......
First giving in and then repenting does not make it the same as never have done it....
If your Bf respected your wishes he would have understood that in the beginning but after the first time and on again off again........he has the idea if you just do it then confess all is good .... where did he think you had condoms before when you came up with them?
i think when we start compromising and rationalizing in any situation ......our credibility is compromised.... if you explain it as you have here and he still has doubts.......... i would suggest a talk about your relationship and if you are going to abstain or not .......... distrust is like mold it grows
This might sound harsh, but it’s not intended to be. You’re not a virgin anymore. The second you had sex the whole waiting for marriage thing went out the window. You cannot undo that no matter how much you want to or whether you don’t have sex again until you’re married. Frankly, while it’s uncommon these days, those who wait to have sex until after marriage are typically virgins and want to marry a virgin. In my opinion, all that does is get people to rush into marriage because their hormones are raging. Based on my experience you don’t want to be doing that because Catholics don’t believe in divorce either if I’m not mistaken. So for your sake, I would have a talk with your boyfriend and if he’s not ok with waiting despite that the two of you have already had sex then you need to cut him loose because you’re just going to end up beating yourself up every time you do it with him. Maybe you will find a nice Catholic man who will understand better.