Am I demanding too much?

I am working through some challenges over the last 2/3 years with my wife. We have been married for 24 year, and have been together for almost 30 yrs.

To sum up, I believe my wife was emotionally cheating on me with her male best friend of over 30 years. She does not.

I had no idea in all our time together the depth of that relationship, and everything came to a head when they admitted to each other they still think about why they did not have sex when they were dating, and still think about having sex now.

We had discussed and she eventually apologized, and we are working through these challenges . But she still maintains the friendship.

I have tried to be supportive of this friendship, but (from my perspective) their flirting, general closeness, trips together, and even my wife fantasizing (musing may be more accurate) about what their kids may have looked like, it was all too much for me to take.

I have finally admitted to her that I cannot support their friendship. Every time I learn they had a phone call or planned to see each other, I am brought back to that original hurt. I found myself withdrawing and unable to move forward. I told her I need to be truthful even though I know it will hurt her.

She still believes that I am making too much of this, and she cannot end that relationship because they have been friends forever and they did not do anything wrong…..she asked me if I am telling her to choose me or her friend.

I said my goal was to only tell the truth, I will continue to tell the truth and be true to myself….and we will need to figure out what happens after that.

I feel I am giving her an impossible choice if I persist. I don’t have the energy to feel this hurt all the time…I try to get over it, but it comes back and back and back…

I am reflecting on….Am I demanding too much?

The answer to my question will have major implications for me, my marriage, and our family….