Boyfriend keeps making me feel worthless
My boyfriend is sweet, he generally cares so much about me. But he has the worst p*rn addiction I’ve ever seen. We’ve almost been together for a year and honestly it doesn’t feel like he’s been with me for a year. I’ve always struggled to show him myself and I finally opened up over time. Regardless, he looks at reddit girls and *** p*rn servers. He even joined them without me knowing, despite knowing how much I hate it. He swears up and down he doesn’t open those servers and he quit reddit but he promised me he joined those long ago and only thinks of me. Yet I found those servers made only a few weeks ago, October 7th. So much for being long.
even when we did talk about it, he says he’ll leave the servers for my sake UNLESS he wants them. To me, it doesn’t sound like he really wants to listen to me. If he really cared about how I felt in this situation, he wouldn’t let these servers hold him back right? I don’t know…
He keeps saying I have little trust in him, that he did nothing, that we should communicate more. But it’s so hard to communicate when I feel this horrible. I want to yell at him, cry, anything to get him to understand. But I’m here, ignoring him, waiting to finally feel like I’m pretty while he looks at other girls. I don’t know what to do anymore. We’re long distance, so I understand the need for physical intimacy. But this is too much…
@AnxiousFreak404
His issues are not yours... him joining sites often have some type of pay system in it either through how many views ( ads) or straight up subscription. So he is buying a fantasy...
These women have zero interest in him except for a payday.... Seems like he does not have enough imagination for his alone time ...maybe a category he could work on. Perhaps this could bother you if his $ spent on this shows bad money management if you see a future with him.
The women he looks at are not competition to you unless you also are making videos for money.....you letting this make you feel less than is your own negative self talk. You know who you are, your value, your attractiveness and if you do not feel it you may need to work on your own self love and self respect. Your attractiveness is NOT reliant on him at all.
Being LD is not an excuse he does not respect your conversations doubt silent treatment will change his mind either....