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Curiosity

User Profile: honestBeechwood3116
honestBeechwood3116 March 11th

I am a straight woman who’s from a Christian family. I met a woman who I have been chatting with at an art event. She’s a single mom in her 30s and I am single in my late twenties with no kids. She and I both love art galleries and read books. I felt an attraction to her, like the thought of what it would be like kissing her. I’ve always had feelings for men and this is my first time having feelings for a woman. I have never been in love with a woman before, so this feels new to me. I think I am bi curious. I know I can explore to see how the relationship goes between us. It’s just that I don’t know if our relationship should be long and short term. She’s also a single parent, so that will be a challenge for time between us. It just feels new to me and I feel excited and terrified at the same time.

I don’t know how this new relationship will progress depending on how much time we spend together. My parents are Christian. I am still trying to figure out through this new date if I’m bisexual or bi curious or just infatuated with a fantasy and really just straight. Her and I are supposed to have our date in a few months. This just feels new to me.

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User Profile: Aayla
Aayla March 11th
@honestBeechwood3116 first of all, congratulations on being so open to exploring new paths, figuring out your feelings and even challenging the way you've always been taught things should be. It's a brave step to make, and I'm glad you're giving yourself the chance to do that!

As a bi woman myself, I can tell you the first time you notice feelings for the same gender can be really confusing. Your first instinct might be to label those feelings as anything other than attraction or love: maybe friendship, admiration, emotional connection, a random fantasy, literally anything else to avoid an explanation that would have to make you question what you know about yourself.

I'm not saying it's the same for you, that's up to you to figure out, but it's worth exploring these feelings and what the idea of a relationship with her makes you feel - physically, mentally, emotionally. Let yourself fantasize, and analyze the way you react to those thoughts. Give yourself time to explore things with her - it's ok to take things slowly, especially since life can be challenging for her as a mother and she might need more time to figure things out with you at her own pace. And remember, what truly matters is that you all do what makes you feel happy and follow what your body, mind and heart tell you, whatever that is.
Even if things don't work out with her eventually, this experience will still help you figuring out something about yourself.

So, basically, just keep questions, keep exploring and give yourself a chance to be happy. When a chance of happiness present itself, it's worth pursuing it even if that happiness looks different than what you thought it would be.
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