Pay her back?(Reach out)?
I'm here to ask if I should reach out to my ex gf who I was with for 2 years. This upcoming January of 2025 it will be 2 years since the breakup.
It was all during COVID, and while I was a broke college student in a physical therapy program with no car, no time, and definitely no money.
I promised her, from the very first date, which I had to split with her, that I would pay her back when I wasn't a broke college student. She paid her half without hesitation.
She has a boyfriend now. I saw her Spotify playlist pic of them. One who she's been with since 4 months after our breakup. Which means they met earlier then that. The same guy who she said she "didn't replace me" with. And that I "didn't know the full story". She has posted him all over her social media.
She said she thought it was "right person wrong time" due to me being in school, COVID, my brothers issues I had to help out with at home, no car, no money, and her not being in school yet.
She's in school now 4 hours away.
Should I pay her back with a message attached to the payment? I have the message saved on my phone if anyone wants to see and offer some advice?
I've been getting therapy, and yes...I *** up. (If you've seen THE BEAR, the show, *spoiler warning*.......I basically did the Carmen freezer speech to Claire...to my ex's face, when we were arguing about how to deal with her dad's ultimatum.) No cheating or abuse or anything was involved, but I reacted and said *** out of anger and resentment towards her parents expectations of me at the time and took it out on her in the arguments and with my comments. Her parents are old school and expected me to just press a button and be where I'm at now, but back then.
Do I pay her back? I want to. I took her virginity, and she was my first serious relationship. I was her 2nd serious relationship. Her first was in highschool.
Obviously I want her back.
Please let me know your honest thoughts, I can give more detail if needed. But I tried to make it as short as possible
@toughPapaya1551,
let it be, stop looking for lame excuses to contact her, and move on. Life is too precious to hold on to the past. Remember, they call it the past because it past.
So I'm not allowed to contact her and do what I feel is right based on my feelings?
@toughPapaya1551,
you act on emotions, you just can't let it be. But do whatever you want, it's your life.
I say go for it! Life is too short to always be hung up on one person, and it sounds like if you dont reach out you will always wonder. Id rather my ex reach out to me and me tell him that it cant happen than for him to always wonder. You never know how it will go, just be prepared for any outcome. Right person wrong time is definitely a thing, idk that it was for yall but its better to get closure if you truly need it. Best of luck! And please keep us updated, i cant wait to see how it goes for you ❤️
I was dead broke, in school, a pandemic, was lucky if I saw her 2x a week for 2 years, she was always the one picking me up etc. now her new bf works at some odd job at a bank, and it's like the person her parents said I was .....is this new guy. But he has the one thing I couldn't give her. My time. He also has already bought her more then 2 flowers over the course of their relationship, which is more then I did. I couldn't even afford the gaslmey to go and see her. But I know she isn't stupid. She knows the long term outcome of people who don't get their act together, even if they look like they're ok.
I really think it was wrong for me to be in a relationship at that time considering the world, and my commitment to school. It wasn't fair on her, or anyone
@toughPapaya1551
It sounds like you have a lot of emotions wrapped up in this situation, and it's commendable that you're seeking advice on how to approach it. Here are a few thoughts to consider:
Down below is the message I have. I also have attached a itemized list of what I owe her, but I didn't post it here (F&A means forever and always, and the space number is a term we used to say how much we loved each other. It was a from a space YouTube video lol):
Promised I'd pay you back when I wasn't a broke college student. It's everything I couldn't afford to show/give how I feel about you. I messed up, badly. Regardless of others involved. I'm sorry for all of it, and for how long it took to see it. I hope you're ok. PT school sucks; you probably "get it" now, the never-ending stress. Time moves by so slowly. But time can do so much. It's the best thing you'll ever do. You'll pass. You got this.
In every universe,
F & A,
Space number (the brown one)
@toughPapaya1551,
if you feel you need to pay her back (which you don't have to) then just pay her back. No messages. Let it be and leave her alone.
I'm scared I'll get told to Eff off.....get no response....or she sends it back
