Relapsing again
I'm not sure how to start this but i relapsed again after being a week clean. Sometimes i think if there's even a point in trying to stop it anymore as it's my fifth time relapsing. It's like whatever i promise myself or try to do i can't do it. I don't want to get any of my family involved in this because i don't want them to worry about me and getting help elsewhere is kinda hard because i don't see or can't really point out a reason for having these thoughts and acting on them. I'm lost.
Sometimes i think if i should just let it all go and end it..
@Imunsureof
Some people relapse a few times, others many times. While engaged in the process of getting clean, it's a bit different for everyone. It's worth noting that in order to relapse, there must be a clean period that preceded it. So, even with multiple relapses, a person is better off than if they just “let it all go.”
I get not wanting to get the family involved, especially if they get involved in unhelpful ways. It's hard to know what to do with regards to family. If you really did “let it all go,” there's a very good chance they'd spend the remaining years of their life wondering why you didn't ask for help, or if they could've seen or done something that would've changed your life trajectory.
Not understanding why you're having such thoughts isn't unusual. Body and brain chemistry has a profound effect on moods. Just being tired gets me to see things more negatively. Low blood sugar has that effect on a lot of people. Sometimes it has to do with memories that remain in the subconscious, but can't be consciously remembered.
Would it be helpful to say you can't point out a reason for the thoughts yet?
Are there any other options regarding talking to someone, such as a therapist?