Serious Concerns! Safety and Listeners on 7cups
Firstly a peer support service for those wanting emotional support is a very attractive idea. A place where others can seek someone supposdely non-judgemental to talk about how they are feeling should be something that is encouraged. There are a lot of serious flaws though with this site and it's supposed 'mission' is not being upheld.
There are people here who set up listener accounts for socialistation as they know members cannot send PMs, which creates a lot of cliques and bullying with hateful comments. There are those who host discussions and ignore everyone but their 'buddies' in sessions they are leading, those who can not interpret situations in first place who are given MOD and higher up badges, causes a major safety concern, how some of them can MOD so many rooms at once is beyond me, you can see any quality that should be there is really suffering. This is not all, and some are very good at their roles.
There are listeners with multiple accounts, who are not here for correct reasons and here to iniciate sexting etc confusing this site with others that do cater to this. Have also experienced, and sent evidence for listeners who are switching to another listener account when in a chat with member, as they feel they may have tripped censor and the current account they were on would get banned (multiple accounts and they are getting away with this)
Another thing about some listeners, btw, they are trying to get members to talk to them here for 15 mins, then offering a link to another site where you have to pay for their time. Since 7cups would not profit from that, is it something you really want as a community? Again evidence of these things gets sent, but no safety protocols put in to manage this or protect users to this site.
We are all warned about triangulation and not spreading gossip here, but there are those who ignore this and do it anyway, often meeting on sites like 'Discord' to chat about this, is often discribed in member rooms as 'the other place', how no one else is noticing this, am unsure. Not being able to speak up about these things, does mean that those in community who are hurtful, bully others, make up complete fabrications and listeners who do not follow the guidelines get rewarded and given these positions of authority to carry out same behaviours.
Your forums are absolutely full of plagiarism, and as your admins have all seem to have University/College backgrounds, am wondering why this is allowed? Some of the internships and other posts do reference sources, but others are just direct copy and paste, with no acknowledgement to where they have found source, I always thought Harvard referencing was a standard also used in USA where this site originates?
The people we are not allowed to call trolls, get accepted straight back as 'we should forgive all', am sorry but if someone has been hurtful and behaviours do not change, you are conforming to them and saying it is acceptle for them to behave in this manner. All for boosting confidence, but appreciatting those who are causing these problems and respsonses like 'but thats ok' are just not acceptable. If you keep telling someone they are awesome and fantastic when have seriously done something hurtful, you are just as bad as them!
This will most likely get ignored and deleted as am actually raising real concerns here, and am not living in a Eutopia where every single person is kind. We are saying the concerns and looking for somewhere we can talk, but none of these things get addressed, and instead we just get more sub-comms with people who probably aren't suitable for running them. Again this is not all, and some do a great role here, but there are those who are causing a serious safety concern here.
Does anyone else share my concerns here? Have raised a few, I do have many more concerns though about this site and it's safety for others, especially as is being marketed as a 'healthcare' product shortly in California USA
Most of your concerns are about things I don't have personal experience of, but I have experienced a couple of them.
Several people recently have told me about triangulation and gossip. I suspect it has always gone on, but maybe there has been an upsurge recently? I don't think it is handled intelligently at 7 Cups. It seems to me a better approach would be to encourage gossip within 7 Cups so it can at least be monitored.
Yes, in the past threads like this have been ignored and deleted. I've seen this happen so often that I routinely archive all the threads I read in 7 Cups forums. At least, these days, anyone who deletes stuff from our forums can be traced and held to account.
The California project, whatever it is, could change a lot of things for the better. If 7 Cups comes under external scrutiny, things can't possibly go on as they are. The danger is that "7 Cups California" will be ring-fenced in some way from the main site, but I'm cautiously hopeful.
@Resiliance
@RarelyCharlie
Thank you for acknowledging these things that are going on here for others, even if not all that have mentioned here.
I would love to think The California project has best interests and I do hope the site gets separated with more competent or experienced listeners for this project to be successful. There is not enough support for mental health, so is a step in correct direction, but these things should have really been addressed before the project was even mentioned here on site.
As you are a listener is good to have heard back, even if this does get ignored by those who can address concerns I have stated in post.
@Resiliance
Yes, yes and yes. I totally agree with you and I share your concerns.
All the points that you've made contribute to me wanting to leave this site at times. 7 Cups markets itself as an emotional support service but I feel really struggles to do that.
As a listener, I have had very bad peer support, very bad mentoring and seen total violations of confidentality in the listeners-only chats. We are told to speak up, yet often the people doing these things are the ones in higher power.
So I'm going to leave a tactical dot here - I'm really interested in what others have to say.
On a more positive note, what do you think should happen that would kind of 'fix these concerns'?
@romanticthi3f
thats the problem, 'positivity', when our admins should be keeping this a safe environment. This is their role not ours! Am sick of having ideas stolen and passed off by paid staff.
@Laura @Kate @KinkTheMellowUnicorn @GlenM
Do you have anything to add to these concerns? It has been raised through YOUR report system, nothing has ever been done about the real problems here. The only way I can show concern genuinely is this way, and I did say some positive comments along with all the REAL concerns
Hi - yes I completely agree!
The main reason why I wrote that is because if I was trying to brainstorm what even I would do if I was a paid 7 cups employee. It's a massive issue.
Hi There - Thank you for your post!
While it may not seem this way to you, the quality of our listeners and the quality of the support provided to the help seekers, is incredibly important to us, the entire 7 Cups admin team. Over the years, we have developed many programs, iniatives and quality assurance practices. These have been effective at encouraging more supportive interations. We can always do more and we are planning to do more over the next few months to continue our efforts of improving the quality and safety on the site.
With lack of a better way to put it, its way more complex problem than meets the eye. There are many factors that go into making a chat successful. To that end, we are planning to update the listener training, will be increasing all of the flagging efforts from reviews to flagging inapprorpiate profiles, adding a suggested listener tool, creating a more detailed member verification system (to ensure members are as kind to listener as well), layering in a pre-screening tool in the next few months, and working with machine learning experts to asses for any other items we may be able to do at scale. When we started in 2014, we were doing about 1000 chats per week, now we are close to 300,000. Machine learning experts will be able to provide recomendations on how we can improve quality at this large scale by looking at patterns in our reporting system and helping to better identify poor quality users faster. Additionally, we've just hired 2 part time safety coordinators to be present and available to maange safety issues on the site at times when the regular community team many not be available (learn more about them and check out their schedule here).
I realize you want more changes now, this moment - things you can see and experience,I urge you to try and understand the complexity surrounding this topic for a free, anonymous chat site. I hope this post gives you a little more insight into how we see this issue at a high level and some of the many efforst and iniatives we will continue to layer in to the site.
Next week, I will make a post highlighting more of the these efforts in detail and where we are on this topic. Please keep a look out! These type of changes won't happen over night, they take time, patience and lots of experimentation. Every intervention has a consequence that needs to be accounted for. That said, Quality and safety are important issues for all of us - from admin to a brand new member. Our community is much bigger now, so we need smart solutions that address the entire population. Please stay tuned for more information. And thank you for making this post.
Hope this helps!!!
Stay tuned for more information to come!
Tagging our safety coordinators here as well @Heather225 @power
@Laura
If quality is so important, why are these discussion leaders not monitored? I have said this already, but some have no social skills and can't actually tell what is going on in a group room. Which is a huge safety concern, as others are hurt by these actions they make. The policy here is to 'forgive' and the constructive criticism that they are given in MOD reports or at end of discussions is ignored. I could give you many examples in PM about this and when it has been raised in past as concerns, it's still happening and they are in more senior roles now!
Thank you though for recognising that safety is something that really needs improvement here. I do agree it is a very complex problem, but it is throughout site, this goes to your supposed ‘pillars of community in some cases also.
You have those in authority abusing their power, I really could give more examples here also. I have been harassed by a group here personally before, this is where the anger and this post has come from, I would hate to think they are, but know they are doing this to others.
Is great having site updates, but changing a button here and there, is a simple fix when the real things are seemingly ignored. I am aware safety protocols take longer to write than some codes for site. It is only anonymous when your listeners adibe to these rules, I am talking about mentors and higher roles here who are not following these guidelines and rewarded for their bullying and hateful comments, some of them are very public and in group rooms, how no one else is seeing these things dont know. Was raised by me, and still going on months later.
@Laura - PLEASE can yuo read my post below.
I used the listening service for the first time last night - and am so shocked. My problem involved intimate details of love life. The listener ending up asking me how he could improve his own sex life as i sounded like I "could give good advice". Telling me how big his penis was - how it was "uncut" how he hates getting blow jobs - about doggy position. It made me feel like I had a pervert wanting to hear me talk dirty - and it REALLY didnt help me. Now he could have needed genuine advice - but he was supposed to be helping me - not the other way around - I cant talk to anyone about this - but it has left me feeling worse.
So yeah - thanks 7cups.
Hello @plumMap6722,
I am sorry to hear that you faced this terrible experience. When we are accepting listeners, we are always trying to accept only those who are willing to help and support our members, but in online community it happens that people comes here for other purpose as well - which is not right and do not follow our site guidelines. The way that listener acted is inappropriate and I can imagine how awful it feels to face this experience. We are very sorry that your first experience in 7cups wasn't good and made you feel worse. When you face this kind of listeners, who are here not to provide emotional support, but to make you feel uncomfortable, it's very important to leave them written review and explain what has happened, as well as email community@7cups.com with the information and the screenshots of the chat if possible. For your own safety, I also encourage to use a block button at the top of the chat to block this listener so they can't contact you again 
As for listeners, for better listening experience, I hardly recommend you to choose listeners that are verified through our verified listener program. You can find them here (press) by clicking "more options" and marking Verified listener option.
@RaCat
Thank you - I have now blocked him. I do feel like my trust in the listening service has been destroyed though. It made me question how people become listeners - what is the vetting process? Are conversations monitored for key words and flagged?
It was basically a set up for sexting. I felt like I was talking to a dirty teenager. Especially when he asked me to go to snapchat!
I really came here for help, after 6 years of not speaking of my experience - and now it has compounded it. I now feel I attract this type of person!!
Not much more you can offer - but thank you for your reply.
@plumMap6722 to become a listener in 7cups, you need to pass some active listening training which is made from the information and questions that they need answer. Even if it checks the basic skills for the listener, trolls can also easily pass them. That's why we always encourage to choose listeners who are verified - it means that they passed a mock chat and got positive reviews from our users, so these people are more trustworth when you need someone to talk to ♥️
As for the flagging system, the messages that includes inappropriate words are being censored and the messages are not sent - but it is always possible to go through this rule when you want to, which is upsetting.
I am sorry to hear that you got some negative experiece and its natural that you might find it hard to open up after such an experience. If you want to give us a try tho, I still encourage to PM someone from our verified listeners or even me if you want to - we are here to help you and to support you through this hard time
@RaCat
I have just come out of another chat - which was very positive thank you .
@plumMap6722 I am very very happy to hear it 
@Laura
I spoke to a listener for the first time last night - it involved intimate details of my lovelife. The listener decided I was a sexpert and asked me if we coudl go to snapchat - I said no - he said I sounded like I could give good advice on sex - and proceeded to tell me - he measured 5inches was uncut - hated blow jobs - wanted to do doggy style - and loved masturbating.
This did not help me feel any better it made me feel WORSE. and upset.
he may have needed genuine help - like he said - but he was the listener. It all seemed highly inappropraite and creepy. and I cant tell anyone about it.
So thank you 7cups for making me feel worse.
@plumMap6722
Oh and now he is messaging me this morning!!
Is this NORMAL - PLEASE HELP!!!
It's not normal, but it happens often enough that there's an established procedure.
Record the listener's name and capture a screenshot if you can. Then block the listener. Send a report to community@7cups.com including the screenshot if possible. If the listener returns on a new account, repeat the process until they get bored, or consider switching to a new account yourself.
@plumMap6722
@plumMap6722
Just wanted to say that I'm so sorry you had that experience. I'm a listener but I really struggle with this site because it's very easy to become a listener and very easy to manipulate people. I've decided to help out more behind the scenes now because it's really distressing.
I've even heard of this happening with verified listeners and moderators, so it can be reallly hard to filter out who might be helpful and who isn't. Emailing is the best option right now but long-term it doesn't seem sustainable given how easy it is to sign up and create new accounts.
I am though really glad that you were able to find yourself a supportive listener. Hopefully they can help you feel much more heard and validated.