CLOSED to new questions AMA [Ask Me Anything] ask the therapist your questions May 27-29th
Hi there. My name is soulsings, the ambassador liaison with 7cups therapy program. I am thrilled to introduce an AMA [Ask Me Anything] therapy thread that can help you better understand how 7cups online therapy can help with Anxiety and Depression issues that you experience in your life. Cynthia Stocker, a licensed therapist that provides online therapy services for 7 Cups, can explain how 7cups online therapy can help you cope with different challenges in your life. See her bio at the end of this post!
This format gives you 3 days May 26-28th to ask your question and give Cynthia 3 days May 27-29th to answer your questions about finding therapy options for depression and anxiety. Cynthia is also available to sign up for therapy if you are feeling like you might benefit from online therapy.
So post your questions now and Cynthia will answer them as quickly as she can starting May 27th. Remember this is a 3 day thread, so get your questions in early. Cynthia will answer questions in the order received.
Sometimes people ask the same or similar questions, so please read through the questions in this thread before submitting your questions so you can benefit from all the answers presented here and we can limit duplicate questions from happening.
Thanks for participating in this thread. I look forward to your questions and Cynthia's answers.
bio for Cynthia:
I have worked in the field for about 30 years and I have experience with anxiety, PTSD, depression, OCD, relationship issues, communication issues, parenting problems, work/life issues, assertive issues, ADHD, learning disabilities and much more.
I live in the beautiful state of Idaho where my husband and I enjoy backcountry horse trips, white water rafting, hiking scuba diving and international travel. Some fun facts about me; I am a licensed falconer, I learned to swim at 30 and now I am PADI certified, and I went skydiving for the first time at the age of 54!
In addition to working with 7 Cups clients, I maintain a private practice in a tiny isolated rural town, where I completed domestic violence assessments for the court as well as attending to my face to face clients. I offer traditional therapy as well as Equine and Canine therapy. These are wonderful mechanisms for change!
Cynthia Stocker, here is my link for therapy
I am not sure that on line therapy or any therapy can help me. I suffer from depression and very low self esteem. Growing up I always felt I fell short of my brothers no matter what I did. My grades were better than theirs but my parents always praised my brothers and told me I could do better. It made no sense. I graduated two years early and left home at 16 after starting a full time job. I always seem to be in relationships that are either abusive or possessive and short lived. I don't know who I am anymore - so much of my life spent trying to please others and now for possibly the first time I am on my own entirely feeling lost and unloveable. I guess my question is whether their is help to build nummy self esteem, to learn to love myself?
@Shyone7834
Hello and thank you for reaching out. I appreciate how you could feel when your parents made your brothers seem more important than you. Please take a look at the post I sent to @modestWatermelon2938 about messages we receive in childhood and how it writes on the slate of who we become. The short answer is yes, therapy can be very useful in helping you learn to love yourself. It can also help you let go of the old messages that were sent to you in childhood, so that you can move on and let go of the damage to heal. Cynthia
Hi guys! I'm raspberry! I need a long term listener here? What to do? Thank you
@Raspberries985 Hi there. Since this is a Q&A for questions for a therapist, I answered your question which seems to be more about finding a listener.
The best way to find a listener that you can easily work with is to try different listeners and hopefully find one that is compatible with your needs. Hope you find a listener here that you can work with https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/
@soulsings thank you
Does depression cause you to think poorly like "do i really like her?" And is so how do i prevent my mind from thinking unwanted painful thoughts like these?
@Jboogy
Good morning and thank you for reaching out. I want to make sure I am understanding your question and do not want to minimize content. You asked Does depression cause you to think poorly like "do i really like her?" This actually seems like a normal question a person might ask if they are attracted to someone and just wanting to question their thoughts. Was there another example you might have? Thank you Cynthia
7 cups online therapy is good? Can I say my thoughts and feelings there? Thank you
Why is guilt shaming used to convince people to keep living? Saying stuff like it doesnt stop the pain or problem or you will just make it worse for others. It will stop the pain or problem. People have struggles in their lives no matter what. By saying that you are essentially saying you are a slave to that or those people and their feelings. It is generally considered a bad thing everywhere else. How is that helpful to anyone? To guilt shame. At best I think it is a messed up the end justifies the means thing. Aside from that I don't have any real questions that aren't overly complicated to articulate or have any merit anyway. Thank you.
@Flornhope
Thank you for reaching out. What people say, how they act, what they feel under times of stress can be mulit layered, and often difficult to understand. I think people dont know what to say when someone is suicidal, so they say what they think is best. If someone is suicidal people around them are afraid. They are typically not trained so they do the best they can because in their minds the alternative, not having you or their loved one, is so painful they struggle to find the right words. Being understanding to folks in a difficult time, both those who are suicidal and those trying to cope with loved ones who have mental health diagnosis is very helpful. Cynthia
@CynthiaStockerLCSWLICSW Thank you. It sense.
Hi. I need some advice and perspective. My fiancé and I have been together for 17 years total. Last fall a new woman (Sally) joined his team at work. They begin working late. He began to talk about her a lot. She was always coming up in conversation. He also once referred to her as a "baby bird" who needed his help. He also said that he felt sorry for her because she is divorced. This woman is his peer. She has held her own in the business world. She lives in a beautiful home in one of the nicest communities in our city. He has absolutely no reason to feel sorry for her. I suspected and saw little things between them for a few months, but wasn't too terribly concerned about a relationship. I thought maybe they were just flirting. For Valentine's Day I made him a beautiful collage of photos of us together for him to display in his office. I posted our valentines presents to one another on FB just as I have every other year. We had a wonderful four day valentine weekend together. He went to work on Tuesday, with the picture in hand. When he got home that evening, he said, "I am afraid your FB post is bullying Sally." He even said that he "was afraid she would think that I was superior to her because I had him and she didn't." He also said that he "was afraid she would quit her job because of what I post on FB." Do you think all of this means he has feelings for Sally and they could be having an affair?
@hasdoubts123
Good morning and thank you for reaching out. I want to ask you what your intuition tells you. Does your fiancé work with other women in the office and on his team? If so, has he ever cared what the other women thought about pictures he displayed of the two of you? Has he ever cared about your posts on FB prior? You must ask yourself if something feels wrong it probably is. To most people without a dog in your fight, saying "I am afraid your FB post is bullying Sally." Would seem unreasonable. As would he was afraid she would quit her job because of what I post on FB." It is important to address issues as they arise instead of waiting for them to get worse. I cant say if they are having an affair, I can only say this is an indictor of a boundary issue and should be addressed prior to moving forward with any type of marriage plans. A good couples therapist could really be helpful here. Cynthia
Hi! I just downloaded this app today so I'm still figuring it out but thank you for doing this!
I'll try to keep the background short Basically I'm
wondering how much one should rely on their partner for mental health help. I was diagnosed with depression about three years ago. I met my boyfriend about a year after that when my mental health was pretty bad. It was rough at the beginning because we felt like I was constantly in crisis mode. I've made so much progress since then but with the virus I've been a little more depressed lately. He feels the relationship is one sided and very taxing on him.
I guess I'm look for advice on how to manage this. How do I restore balance while honoring my illness and feelings when I'm low? I recognize that some of these questions are better addressed with him (we plan to talk when we get a break from work and school) but if you have any tools for change and growth I would appreciate it.
Thank you!
@raspberry1513 My idea is try to go to therapist here or therapist outside of 7 cups. Thanks
@Raspberries985 thanks for your feedback! We are considering couples counseling but being broke and in a long distance relationship makes it tricky lol :) We are in the process of finding the right fit for us right now.
@raspberry1513 ok. That's good
@raspberry1513
Good morning and thank you for reaching out. I really like what you said here and how you have acknowledge that balance needs to be restored, we cant use our partners as therapists, and some of your questions are better to be addressed with him. Great work! I do think you should look towards obtaining an individual therapist so that you have a private sounding board. A place where you can speak privately and share thoughts without being censored. 7-cups is nice for that because as you pointed out with covid you dont have to compromise your health or his. 😊 After you have gotten out your thoughts and feelings your therapist will offer suggestions for coping strategies and then you can go back to your relationship hopefully feeling better and ready to have conversations that less therapy like. Does that make sense? Cynthia
Thanks for answering our questions!! I'm currently in treatment for substance abuse (opioid addiction). My therapist insists my pain is psychological. But if it's causing me physical distress how do you treat that? Is it really all about self-control? Thanks again!!
@InfinityandBeyond23
Good morning and thank so much for this very good question. Congratulations on your path to recovery!
Anxiety and stress can have physical ramifications if not controlled through counseling or behavioral health therapy. A number of studies have indicated stress and trauma can constrict the muscles and nerves, causing physical pain. The physical discomfort is often a signal to the brain that emotional traumas needs to be resolved to reduce tension and other issues affected the nervous system.
Here is a link that explains more; https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/body-sense/201204/emotional-and-physical-pain-activate-similar-brain-regions In terms of weather it is all about self-control, some people believe that. I personally believe in making the right thing easy and the wrong thing difficult. By that I mean; if you have addiction issues, dont put yourself in situations where you might it easy to relapse, learn about your triggers and find coping skills that help you control them, if you have physical pain see a pain specialist to learn how to reduce it, because no matter why you feel it you need relief and there are ways to control it. I hope this helps, Cynthia
@CynthiaStockerLCSWLICSW
Thanks so much for your response!! Yes I see a pain specialist who prescribed these opiods. I feel like I am being punished now by having to be in rehab due to listening to this doctors advice. But no other doctor could help and no-one can find the reason for my muscle spasms aside from it being due to stress. The link you sent is great and I will def have to learn my triggers and coping skills as well!! I wish you all the best! Thank you again!!
Anxiety, difficult to move on, when can't let go
@loyalHouse9898
Good morning and thanks for reaching out, I would love to help you and I am not sure what you are trying to ask. Can you please revise your question so that I can understand it better? Thank you Cynthia
How to deal with feeling of lack of purpose and fulfilment during quarantine/furlough/unemployment?
My country is still closed down, I was furloughed at my job and staying at home from 2 months. The longer it goes the worse I feel. I tried exercise, music, online courses, online volunteering, meditation, walks, etc. But everything feels like mere distraction that I'm only one step from being redundant without any clear plan for future.
That feeling being on standby causes me really low mood mixed up with pure fear/anxiety.
@SiennaSierra
Unfortunately, this is a common feeling that I think all if not many of us are experiencing right now. The unpredictability of our futures and sense of lack of control all play a role. At times like this working with a therapist regularly is helpful. In addition to that looking at what you can control, no matter what that is, will also be of value. Here is a link that may also help which talks about what to do in uncertain times https://www.lifehack.org/articles/featured/in-uncertain-times-prepare-yourself-for-new-opportunities.html I dont know where you are located, but also check into charities in your location and outreach organizations so can be a step ahead. Cynthia