CLOSED to new questions AMA [Ask Me Anything] ask the therapist your questions May 27-29th

@ALEXILOST

Thank you so much for bringing up this question. I am so happy you have such a suppotive partner! Like you many people suffer with anxiety and just live with it thinking they cannot develop coping skills. Anxiety is actually quite common!

It is important to notice the signs of anxiety and what they feel like your body. Often times anxiety will manifest in the body first;

Stomach pain, tightness in the chest shortness of breath, nervousness, perspiration, fidgeting, lightheaded and nauseous etc. We might dismiss these but paying attention to them helps us understand we have been triggered and put in place healthy coping skills. Seeing a therapist will help you develop coping skills, if you dont already have them, to continue the work you doing to control your anxiety. I hope this helps. Cynthia

@quinnclynn

Good afternoon and thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you are really struggling and want a change quickly so that you can impact your situation. That makes sense!

Unfortunately, without more information related to your background, life changes, etc. It would be hard for me to know why this happening and therefore help you develop coping skills and a plan. In terms of your libido I would encourage you to go seek a physicians support to rule out medical issues. I would also suggest you seek a mental health professional so that they can discuss the whys behind why you might be finding yourself exploding. I hope this makes sense, Cynthia

@quinnclynn

Does your fiance help you out? Give you a few hours to yourself? You might need to start with that. A lot of people are not cut out to have zero time with peers and no help with your kid. Two year olds are a handfull.

@reliableSea7887

Hello and thank you for reaching out. I appreciate your honesty. I think the answer as to if you should stay in this relationship is really attached to your family of origin issues. You have mentioned that you got involved with him for reasons such as trying to find stability, and that may not be the best reason for a relationship. You also cheated on him and I would have concerns that there might be more involved than liquor. So, I would ask you to go a bit deeper into self-reflection before deciding on letting the relationship go or staying in it. This can be done with the help of a therapist to assist you in gaining better insight. I hope this helps. Cynthia

@sociableHemlock6599

Hello thank you for reaching out. I am hearing you say that you are worried that you may have a personality disorder and even though you have been diagnosed with depression, you dont feel comfortable with this diagnosis. Heres the thing. I cannot diagnosis you, and honestly receiving a personality diagnosis should be done with great caution, and over time. If you are worried you should begin seeing a regular therapist who can begin to track you patterns and behaviors. You would be watched over time to see if other diagnosis would not fit. Furthermore, it is co-occurring. This means depression may still be true for you and co-occur with BPD. The only way to know for sure is to be in therapy and make sure your therapist understands your symptoms and behaviors. Thank you, Cynthia

@Learning2breath101

Hi and think you for your question, social anxiety can be complex and isolating. I love that you really want to work through it. I think the best thing to do would be reaching out to a therapist to help you with steps you can take even in the presence of covid. You should have to go it alone. I hope this helps, Cynthia

@DarkFairy0316

Hello and thank you for reaching out. You are bringing up a big problem that many people are experiencing right now. Things are hard and folks have few tools with which to cope. This cause distress and sometimes people unintentionally lash out.

As I read what you wrote I am wondering if you have spoken to your family about how you feel and tried to problem solve it with them? If not would encourage you to do just that. We often think our parents have all the answers, know how we feel or believe they think a certain way. All of that may not be true. When we approach a situation from a calm, honest and realistic perspective we may actually get farther and come up with a workable solution. I hope this helps. Cynthia

@secretBlackberry709

Thanks for reaching out. I understand. This is actually a common problem; parents frequently see their children getting ready to leave the nest and then send mixed message about what they want. That is because parents dont know what they want 😊 They know their children need to leave, but the prospect of their baby being gone causes stress. It changes their relationship with their child.

You said something important It's causing me a lot of anxiety because I don't know how to make her happy. Guess what, you cant make her happy so stop trying. Just be you and let her figure that out on her own. You have to grow up and be an adult. Dont send her mixed message, act like the adult you are. I hope that helps. Cynthia

@politeGrapefruit9944

Hello and thank you for your post. This sounds like this rumor is distressing to you. I want to ask you something, why are you concerned about the rumor? The reason I ask is because your concern lies in your fear about it, not in the rumor itself. If you are not afraid of a possible outcome the rumor will not bother you. So, ask yourself what is the worst thing that will happen if someone believes this? Then ask yourself if you can handle that worst thing, and if it is very likely to occur. More than likely it is not.

In addition, it is best to ignore it and go on with your life. The more attention you give it more people will believe it to be true. People spread rumors all the time. If it isnt about you and your gender it will something else about some else. They also have very short memories. If you ignore it they will more than likely move on to something else that they get attention for. Cynthia

@carsey05

Good morning and thank you for reaching out, this is a good question and want I to caution that these answer would have to do with the level of depression you are feeling. I am going to select coping skills for mild to moderate depression, if yours is worse I would encourage you to seek professional help immediately. I would also encourage anyone who has symptoms of depression to be screened by a professional to see if medications may be helpful.

Socialize — people with depression often feel isolated. Dont isolate yourself from your loved ones. Reach out to friends and family and build yourself a strong support system.

Exercise — exercise is a great habit for anyone to pick up, but it is especially important for those who have depression. In fact, exercise has been known for reduction in depression because it causes an uptick in serotonin and endorphins and anxiety.

Face your fears — you feel a sense of accomplishment when you do hard things that scare you, which can make you feel better about yourself. Avoiding procrastination and challenging yourself with new things will help you build self-confidence and resiliency.

Healthy eating habits — your diet is a key aspect of your health that directly correlates with your mood. If you want to ease your depression symptoms, dont skip meals, take b vitamins, eat omega 3 fatty acids, eat less sugar and carbs, and limit your intake of alcohol and caffeine. Foods high in carbs, sugar, caffeine, and alcohol can cause inflammation in the body, which affects our ability to maintain mood stability.

Get creative — using your emotions to fuel your creativity is a very positive way to deal with depression through catharsis. Try painting, writing stories and poetry, or even writing music.

Get a pet — taking care of an animal will not only allow you to focus your energy on something other than your depression but also allow you to form a strong bond, making you feel less isolated.

Volunteer — volunteering is a great way to avoid negative thoughts and help those who may be worse off than you. Serving others is a proven way to build self-esteem and resiliency.

Find a hobby — spend time doing something you love each day. Spending time consistently to do things that bring us joy has a compound effect on our overall happiness and quality of life.

Get enough sleep — sleep also correlates with your mood. If youre not sleeping well, then you probably feel more depressed and irritable, not to mention tired. Talk to your doctor about your options to help you get a good nights rest.

Relax — relaxation can also help you cope with negative feelings. Take a hot shower, a bath, and watch a movie or TV show. You will be surprised at what some good R&R can do for your mood.

Pay attention to your thoughts — When you learn how to recognize negative thoughts, you are better equipped to deal with them.

Deep breathing — deep breathing is another calming skill you can use when you are in a stressful situation and need to calm down. This is called diaphragmatic breathing and comes from the diaphragm. Here is a link to teach you how. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/9445-diaphragmatic-breathing.

Learn your triggers — if you know what triggers your depression, you can stay away from them or learn how to better cope when those situations arise. Here is a link to trigger exercise work sheet that might be helpful. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1K8y369NGKHL4hD6Rbk1_CqyTLRDfVc8ZFvw3xZk-iVg/edit?usp=sharing

Build a routine and stick to it — although you cant control everything, you can control some things. Try making a daily routine and sticking to it, focusing your energy on what you do have a say in rather than what you dont.

Do things that boost your self-esteem — those with depression often have low self-esteem, so do your makeup, get a new hairdo, take a fun picture, or write down things you like about yourself. Self-care is a huge part of building self-esteem.

Clean or organize — your space is another aspect of your life that you have control over. So use cleaning and organizing as an outlet for your depression. Your life may be a mess, but your bedroom, kitchen, and other rooms in your house dont have to be. Here is a helpful link to that can teach you how to reorganize. https://www.cleanandscentsible.com/how-to-declutter-and-organize-any-space/

Meditate — meditation is another skill that can help you learn how to cope with tough situations. Meditation can help you clear your mind of the negative thoughts and press reset. - https://medium.com/meditation-without-mysticism/how-to-meditate-short-and-simple-e60ca4c6cfb2

Redecorate — if cleaning isnt enough, try redecorating. A change of scenery could be just what you need to get you out of that funk.

Treat yourself — reward yourself when you do something hard or overcome a difficult situation

Keep a journal — a journal not only lets you air out your frustrations but also lets you track your progress. You may be surprised at how far youve come when you look back at past entries.

Go to therapy — realizing that you need help is a big step in overcoming depression. If you feel like you cant cope on your own, reach out to a professional for help.

Get in touch with your spirituality — go to church, read scriptures, or say a prayer. Do something that makes you feel connected to a higher power.

Listen to music — music is another fantastic way to cope with depression. Make a playlist of uplifting songs to listen to when youre feeling down.

Go for a walk — sometimes getting away for a while and taking a walk can help you deal with your emotions. It also helps to get outside and get some much-needed sunlight.

Let yourself cry — instead of avoiding or pushing down the emotions when they come, try working through them by letting go and having a good cry. Sometimes people are worried they wont stop once they start. This is a myth. Your body will stop because you cant stay in that level of emotion. Allow yourself to cry and then go into catharsis. You may actually end up with the best sleep you have every had after.

Do yoga — yoga is like exercising, deep breathing, and meditation all rolled into one.

Try acupuncture — acupuncture eases tension in your body, relaxing you, and in turn, easing some of the negativity you may be feeling.

Take a class on something that interests you — learning is a great way to stimulate your brain and put your focus into a positive activity. Find something that interests you or a skill that you always wanted to pick up, and sign up for a class.

Follow doctors orders — Sometimes you cant beat depression on your own, so you need to follow your doctors instructions by regularly taking your medication, attending follow-up appointments, and maintaining your physical health.

Cynthia

@BlueGeco

Hello, good morning and you are most welcome. You are asking a good question. Should I seek treatment for Alexithymia, the ability for a person to identify or verbally describe his or her feelings. As a clinician people come to me and ask if they need treatment for different behaviors or symptoms on a regular basis, centered on weather something is normal. If the symptom or behavior, does not impact daily functioning, we general do not concern ourselves with its normalcy and dont worry about treating it. When it does, we consider it abnormal and something that requires treatment. So, I would ask you Does your inability to identify, or verbally describe emotions, impact your daily function in social, emotional, extraocular, academics, employment or settings? If so, I would encourage you to seek treatment. I hope this helps. Cynthia