CLOSED to new questions AMA [Ask Me Anything] ask the therapist your questions May 27-29th
Hi there. My name is soulsings, the ambassador liaison with 7cups therapy program. I am thrilled to introduce an AMA [Ask Me Anything] therapy thread that can help you better understand how 7cups online therapy can help with Anxiety and Depression issues that you experience in your life. Cynthia Stocker, a licensed therapist that provides online therapy services for 7 Cups, can explain how 7cups online therapy can help you cope with different challenges in your life. See her bio at the end of this post!
This format gives you 3 days May 26-28th to ask your question and give Cynthia 3 days May 27-29th to answer your questions about finding therapy options for depression and anxiety. Cynthia is also available to sign up for therapy if you are feeling like you might benefit from online therapy.
So post your questions now and Cynthia will answer them as quickly as she can starting May 27th. Remember this is a 3 day thread, so get your questions in early. Cynthia will answer questions in the order received.
Sometimes people ask the same or similar questions, so please read through the questions in this thread before submitting your questions so you can benefit from all the answers presented here and we can limit duplicate questions from happening.
Thanks for participating in this thread. I look forward to your questions and Cynthia's answers.
bio for Cynthia:
I have worked in the field for about 30 years and I have experience with anxiety, PTSD, depression, OCD, relationship issues, communication issues, parenting problems, work/life issues, assertive issues, ADHD, learning disabilities and much more.
I live in the beautiful state of Idaho where my husband and I enjoy backcountry horse trips, white water rafting, hiking scuba diving and international travel. Some fun facts about me; I am a licensed falconer, I learned to swim at 30 and now I am PADI certified, and I went skydiving for the first time at the age of 54!
In addition to working with 7 Cups clients, I maintain a private practice in a tiny isolated rural town, where I completed domestic violence assessments for the court as well as attending to my face to face clients. I offer traditional therapy as well as Equine and Canine therapy. These are wonderful mechanisms for change!
Cynthia Stocker, here is my link for therapy
Hi there Cynthia,
I have only found out recently that I am actually a very anxious person. I tried Deep Breathing and Mindfulness technique but it has not been very helpful as it usually reliefs it temporarily. Sometimes my anxiety can become very bad till a point that I'll feel dizzy and unable to do what I have to do at that moment. I get especially anxious when it comes to people's feedback about me. What can I do to manage my anxiety better? Thank you for your help.
@NJlove
Good morning, thank you for reaching out. Anxiety is quite a common emotion and people can find the symptoms in produces distressing. Those symptoms can range from mild or in your case more severe.
I am concerned that you may experiencing panic disorder however, which is more than simple anxiety. I would first in encourage you to seek professional help so that you can alleviate these symptoms and be screened for panic disorder. If you dont you may be at risk for them to get worse.
One coping skill that may help is a technique called The five steps of Aware This may feel counter intuitive for you, but following these steps is proven to work. In order for this to be helpful you must practice it before you are experiencing any symptoms. That is because it would be very hard to focus during a time when you are anxious. So practice this method when you are calm many times.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XoIYe_IiReHG7m3w2zA8wLZWchTpyXaVohRJ0-hVXwk/edit?usp=sharing
Here is a link to the panic diary it talks about - https://get.gg/docs/PanicDiary.pdf
Another form of help is through something called guided imagery. This is a useful tool in helping to rewire the brain to calm down the parts that get confused and think you are in fight, flight or freeze. If you use it every night for about 10 weeks or more it can be very helpful. Dont worry about falling asleep because your subconscious mind will still hear the message. https://healthy.kaiserpermanente.org/health-wellness/podcasts/emotional-wellness/anxiety I hope this is helpful, Cynthia
@soulsings
I've been called dramatic and a drama queen alot recently, it seems kinda mean but I see where they're coming from. I thought I was just being honest, but I don't know how to stop being dramatic! How do I stop being so dramatic?
@blushingbureau587
Hello and I hope you are doing well on this Friday. In some ways, thinking in such a dramatic way is the brains natural response to stress and is an inbuilt survival mechanism. In primitive times the mind needed to simplify when there was a threat to survival. If faced with an enraged wild animal or invading tribe about to attack, this response made sure you didnt waste precious seconds stopping to consider options but quickly thought ‘run or perish.
Of course, nowadays the stress we face is usually far from life threatening, but unfortunately our brain remains on its caveman programming giving ‘fight, flight, or freeze responses to perceived threats. Some of us quickly come down from the cortisol rush this involves, and our minds go back to more measured and practical ways of seeing things. But it seems that some of us enjoy the rush, stay fired up on the stress and can become quite hooked on dramatic thinking.
We call this black and white thinking and admitting you do it is the first step. 1. Start to pay attention to what you say, track your thoughts, Learn to deal with being boring, Learn what balanced thinking is and finally find a cognitive behavioral therapist. Cynthia
Is it bad that I talk to myself? I've done it for many years and always thought it was because of my loneliness, but even as I've made great friends I continue to do it. To be specific, I don't mean listing off groceries to myself, I mean having full blown conversations with myself though I am in my head imagining that I'm having a conversation with someone I know. There's no other voices or people I don't know, just me imagining a conversation I want to have with a certain person and imagining how it might go. It's become quite an embarrassing habit as people will notice I'm smiling, laughing or moving my lips to no one being there and I'll get odd looks. Help!
@bag75
Thank you for this great question. You are very brave to ask it.
We actually talk to ourselves silently all the time. I dont just mean the odd where are my keys? comment. We actually often engage in deep, transcendental conversations at 3am with nobody else but our own thoughts to answer back. This inner talk is very healthy indeed, having a special role in keeping our minds fit. It helps us organize our thoughts, plan actions, consolidate memory and modulate emotions. In other words, it helps us control ourselves!
Talking out loud can be an extension of this silent inner talk, caused when a certain motor command is triggered involuntarily. The Swiss psychologist Jean Piaget observed that toddlers begin to control their actions as soon as they develop language. When approaching a hot surface, the toddler will typically say hot, hot out loud and move away. This kind of behavior can continue into adulthood.
Some studies actually show that talking out loud, when the mind is not wandering, could actually be a sign of high cognitive functioning. Rather than being mentally ill, it can make you intellectually more competent. The stereotype of the mad scientist talking to themselves, lost in their own inner world, might reflect the reality of a genius who uses all the means at their disposal to increase their brain power. So, there you have it! Talk to yourself all you want! It is healthy. Cynthia
@soulsings
I'm not sure if I can ask about eating disorders on here but I feel like I've had binge eating disorder for a while, but when I feel depressed or angry, I don't feel hungry but I'll eat a bunch of food, and afterwards I feel SO bad. I hide away in my room because I'm so ashamed of my secret binge eating. I'll sneak candy under my pillow, because candy reminds me of when I was younger, and happier. But when I'm done with the candy, I just feel lonelier and emptier than before. I've tried to stop, but it's a constant anxiety of going faster, and eating more food, and if I don't have sugar and carbs I'll die. My dad thinks I'm just lazy and I just like to eat, but my mom and my grandma, and my great grandma had eating disorders too! My mom actually thinks it's genetic. Do I classify as binge eating disorder? And at what point should I get help? If I need to get help, who do I go to? Could this be genetic?
@blushingbureau587
Thank you for reaching out. I appreciate your fears and bravery. It sounds like you are struggling, and I am sorry you dont feel supported by your father.
You asked some good questions. Yes, people can carry genetics for eating disorders. You also asked at what point should I get help? If I need to get help, who do I go to? First you should seek help now. I wouldnt wait any longer because this wont get better on its own. Secondly, I would find a mental health professional who specializes in eating disorders. I hope this helps and wish you the best. Cynthia
Hello Cynthia!
I am teaching English and maths to children around 10 or 11 years old. Some of them are calm and respectful and they make great progress. And some of them are just little demons. They always ignore the homework I give and behave rudely during the lesson. That drives me crazy every time and sucks out all the energy, so I feel extremely down and tired afterwards. I prepare very hard for these lessons (I make games, search for fun tasks, laugh and talk with them) and their disobedience hurts me. I can even start talking harshly to them when they make me furious. The problem is that I do not want to fight with them and they take that as my weakness. When I talk to their parents the chidlren start hating me even more. Is there any way I can make them listen to me or at least cope with my overwhelming anger?
Thank you!
@LyDiKa
Good evening, thank you for your hard work as an educator! Here is the thing, I am sure you chose this profession because you really care about children. However, one of the problems I frequently see with folks in helping professions is you struggle with wanting people to like you and avoid conflict.
We cant make anyone do something they dont want to do and if they dont respect you. You will continue to be angry if you keep trying things this way.
You have done everything you can to be kind, fair and fun. However, there comes a point where you need to be the teacher and not their friend. I dont want you to fight with them either, and setting consequences with them is the way to this. You cant keep telling them stop, you have to tell them once, then give a consequence. You also cant just leave it to their parents, or the children will continue to disrespect you.
You must set boundaries, make them clear, and have consequences, when rules are not followed. In this way the children began to listen and follow directions. Will they like you? Most of them will because you will be able teach the way you want to and your loving personality will shine through. Some wont because no one is liked by everyone. That is the part we all must learn to accept. There is a really good book What about me; an insiders guide to better boundaries by Steph Sterner. This book may be helpful to you. Cynthia
Thank you everyone for all of you wonderful questions. I am sorry if I missed someone. Please have a great weekend Cynthia
@CynthiaStockerLCSWLICSW thank you for all your answers and insights. You reached out to so many people and we appreciate your time. Thanks again.
Thanks everyone for participating in this AMA. The AMA is now closed to questions so please hold your questions till the next AMA.
Thank you and have a great weekend.
Thread is closed to new questions but available to read Q&A from the thread
Hello Cynthia,
i do a lot of art, and i thought i would finally be able to improve, but i dont have the physical or mental energy to lift a finger. my brain is constantly full of white noise, as in no particular thoughts, just a grey sludge, and i cant concentrate, i keep drifting off and thinking about something else, for example, i could start to draw, but id pick up a piece of blue tack and start sculpting with it, or find myself surfing the internet for a reference picture despite without even trying to draw the picture that i first chose. im never happy, and all i can think of is 'you dont have this problem, you're just doing this for attention', because mabye sometimes i am actually able to focus, may it be for a short time, so it contradicts what i know about adhd or add, and suddenly im shaming myself for having the audacity to even think for one second i have a problem without being properly diagnosed. im not sure if any of what i just said made sense, and if it didnt, im sorry. im just tired of my own brain.
Thank you so much for your help