Dear 7 Cups improve listeners
Hi, I been here for a very long time, and I have met a lot of listeners, good ones, bad ones... But the bad ones are crossing my line... I don't usually come to any forums, but I just want to say this to who ever are giving tips for how to be a better listeners and stuff.. Learn them how to properly listen, and include that in a tutorial if needed or can.. As in example a member says I want to talk, the listener responds Alright I'm here to help and listen.. Do you see my problem with this ? If a member asks to talk, not help, not listen, etc.. Why do you need to respond with that too ? (I do see new improve ment in talking, as in are you new here) and other listeners don't even say hello or anything, just What's your problem ? Others pick the request but just go afk... Please if you do not understand the things I'm trying to point out, read again... I come with no hate (etc) but just trying to give an idea about listeners for the future..
I think it is very useful for listeners to read this and to understand these things. Also, it is important for all members to report any listeners who do not pay attention to what you write. It is particularly important to report listeners who think they are going to help you when you do not want help.
Of course you will already know that to find experienced listeners you can use the Browse Listeners page and filter for verified listeners, but I include the link here for other readers who are not so familiar with the site.
@BioStar
I find this true too. Countless people have complained because of the lack of experience of the listeners. This issue might be causing guests to never come back on this website because they've had a bad experience with their first listener. I feel like we should make the training courses more in depth, and all listeners should have to complete successfully at least 3 mock chats before they can take general requests. Like another one mentioned, to have the best chances to get a good listener, please select one through the "Browse Listeners" page. Read every description carefully and check which categories they specialize in. I hope that you find a good listener soon. If not, you can always contact me. <3
xx
~JustALover
@JustALover I think you make some really valid suggestions and I too have raised about improving listener quality including perhaps new listeners having to complete active listening training (all four sections) prior to taking chats, doing say 10 mock chats that are assessed with feedback given and perhaps an assessment contained in the listener primer so that it shows new listeners have read what is needed and have to pass the assessment before taking chats. As a mentor I am meeting more and more new listeners in trouble with chats they have dived into without having read anything of new listener resources, who do not know how to handle abusive or suicidal chats and who are wanting help when they realise they are out of their depth. There are great listeners here and listener quality is an issue that is being raised by members and listeners alike
@dancingRainbow45 You make great points too! It's just that it takes quite a while for other listeners to evaluate to active listening trainers, which could make some poeple frustrated and leave 7 Cups before they're even able to help anyone and that could turn into a major problem. Perhaps only successfully completing the first one?
@BioStar It can sometimes be hard to find a good listener. It is good to keep in mind that they are volunteers and are trying their best to be there for you at your challenging time. I hope you continue to find support from our amazing listeners :D
@LuckyCloverX
But I feel like you're missing a point of my thread
@BioStar
@BioStar AGREED!!!
Just FYI, thanks for starting this thread. I find that when I go on live chat, I get a lot of bad listeners. It has taken going thru 3 people on the browse listeners page to find one that still only kind of is there. I even tried signing up for the sponsor program and the first listener never responded and the second listener I set up a time and day and the sponsor doesn't show up. I have had 'several' chats and several repeated chats with listeners, but beyond a week or so they don't follow thru on what they say, in being here and willing to listen. Don't offer to help, to be here if you are not willing to follow thru. I don't ask them to be avaliable later, they offer. The other hard part is that I have had 3 listeners that were male one wanted to do some kind of what he called sex therapy chat. The other two were just creepy flirty. If there is any way that when someone goes to live chat or chat now that male listeners are not put with females? Or at least have an option to ask for a female listener. I have waited anywhere from 5 mins to 45 mins to get a listener. I am patient. I would rather get someone good once than go thru 4 or 5 bad ones to get one. I have had the exact same thing happen with connect with a listener and then they come on and don't say hi or anything. And a huge frustration is for me to answer and it's like they are not reading my response and ask the same thing again as if they didn't listen to me in the first place. Another issue is that they don't respond for 5-10 or more minuets. They ask a question, I respond and then I don't get a response back for that amount of time or more. If they really don't have time or have a distraction going on, don't get on here. If something comes up while they are listening, then just say, sorry had something come up-get back with you later? Thanks for a place to provide feedback on this issue. I hate to sound like I'm just complaining. And I hate that I have to block and report so many listeners. The hardest one that ever happened was I had a listener respond with, "that is not a real problem, I can't help you". I almost left the site permantely. I did report this person and was fortunately able to realize it is one person and I do get so much help in other areas on her. Thanks- Kathy
Dear 7 Cups improve listeners: I am having a difficult time connecting with a listener who is online on a regular basis. Being one of the 35plus members sort of narrows the selection of listeners for me as well. I'm not really that good at initiating contact with a listener and was thinking there must be some way for Listeners to reach out on a more individual level so that people such as myself could benefit from this particular service on 7Cups. Thanks.
@BlakeMac
Have you tried posting in the members classified area of the forum? It's a good start with connecting with the right listener. I'd recommend explaining what times you are normally on (make sure you write your timezone) and if you're looking for live chats or a back and forth messaging system. I'd also mention how frequent you'd prefer a listener to be on, as you specified you'd like one on a regular basis. Also make sure to mention what topics you'd like to normally discuss (if any) and if you want a listener of a certain age range.