How to be a just a go0d listener when you're already a psychotherapist...

@EdgarAllan

Why would you limit yourself ? There's no guideline to be a good listener.
Oh, wait, there probably is. Let me correct that : there's no GOOD guideline to be a good listener.

It's trial and error. If you limit what you do to "fit the norm" it's pretty dumb as you may be able to help people so much more.

Hi @EdgarAllan. I faced a similar challenge after I did a counselling course. Lots of people shared with me their problems and they told me I was a good listener. I took up counselling course since I thought it would help me understand and help people more effectively. But after the course I became more counscious and analytical about what I say. Problem was that I was now afraid to screw up. I knew what a good reply and bad reply was. :D

So... To address the problem I had to remind myself that it's okay to make mistakes. And it made a difference. Conversations became more natural. You can try talking naturally and then later analyze the conversation after the session is done. You can pick point where you went wrong and just improve that part next time. Key is to learn one step at a time.

Hope this will help you. Take care. :)

I've had this same issue because I'm currently on a counselling training course myself. Personally I deal with it by adopting a person-centred approach to my chats, which you of course know is the basis of any good therapy! I focus on just being there in the moment with the person speaking to me, holding their emotions and providing unconditional acceptance and positive regard. It's true that there'll be the ocasional person for whom that isn't enough but then they should really be seeking help from a therapist, not using a listening site such as this if they need a level of help that goes beyond a supportive listener.

I don't know if that helps at all but it's how I deal with it!