A hint of hope...

Today I woke up with a little hope. I am not sure why or how this changed. I am remembering I am a person with feelings. I have people who love and support me. I need to let them in to help and allow them to be privy to what is happening in my life. It is part of my journey and healing process. The fear of telling your loved ones what is really happening behind the scenes can look very scary. I often questioned why I am scared to start talking. I cannot come up with the full answer but one I have noticed is you do not want them to hurt as well. Another that makes sense is fear of judgement. If your loved ones love you they will support you. I have allowed two members of my family know of my hurt and pain. I miss my husband but I am very hurt by his actions. I tell myself that I am the master of my own fate, while he is his. I am also trying to distance myself and not allow him to know what I am doing and feeling in life. I am gaining control over my life and trying to let him live his. This has been one of the hardest things I have had to do, but once you can start to walk and stop looking over your shoulder so much, it can make things a little easier each day!