Do*s and don'ts from a listeners perspective
Do
answer in the appropriate time frame
do arrange schedule appointments if you want to speak to a listener again.
Leave constructive feedback to listeners
Give Trigger warnings out before the conservative start
Take part in sharing circles and other group chats.
Dont
Pretend your not in crisis when you are as we have training and we speak to loads of members every single day so believe us because we are the experts.
Join the queue again before you end the conversation with your listener
When a listener says it's time for them to go please don't ask to speak for a bit longer as we may need to do some self care with having a difficult chat, need a break, have an emergency going on either on-site or off or has disabilities or medical problems. Or general for our own well-being because if we don't end the chat and we carry on chatting with you then we wouldn't be looking after our own well-being. If you carry on and keep chatting with us then we may need to block you.
This isn't aimed at any of the members itself but we need your help as members to look after our listeners otherwise we will end up having none.
if this post is inappropriate please take it down I just thought it might be useful
@bubblyPumpkin8003 I think there are some good ideas here, but I don't agree with all of them.
Most importantly, I think "Do*s and don'ts" is putting it too strongly. These are some ideas that might be worth thinking about, but they are not rules.
The "appropriate time frame" for replying depends on you and your listener. In some of my chats the appropriate time frame is a couple of days.
I almost never schedule appointments, but there are members I chat to again and again without appointments.
Constructive feedback can be useful, but it is not a requirement.
Taking part in sharing circles and other group chats is also not a requirement.
As listeners we do not have crisis training and we are not experts. (OK, in fact I do have crisis training, but it didn't come from 7 Cups.) Not many listeners speak to loads of members every single day. I certainly don't.
Don't join the queue again. I agree! Browse Listeners is a much better way to find a listener.
If you carry on and keep chatting with us then… blocking a member for that is not allowed. After a chat ends, members are perfectly free to send more messages. The listener will almost certainly reply the next time they are online. I actively encourage members to leave messages between chats.
I always like to read other opinions in the forum, so I hope no one will take this thread down 😉
Charlie
@bubblyPumpkin8003 As @RarelyCharlie mentioned this list is a good start, but I also don't agree with most of them. Saying we are experts sounds a bit condescending and we are definitely not experts when we are logged onto 7cups (although like Charlie, I am trainied in Crisis support and do crisis calls outside of 7cups).
I would reword this do and donts as mere suggestions.
Possibly consider this
Do --
Discuss scheduling with your listener and find an agreement that works for both
Consider leaving feedback after your chat
If you don't feel satisfied in a chat, feel free to rejoin the queue or browse. (Members can be in as many chats at once as they want. The only ones with chat limits are listeners).
Also like Charlie said, blocking is not an option just because the member keeps sending messages. We reserve that feature for abuse.
If you'd like to reword your initial post at all, PM me your edits and Ill put them in.
@bubblyPumpkin8003
I do support guidelines from listeners. They help to know how we can approach them, what to expect, etc. I do think some of these, suggested guidelines will not apply to all though. Simply because listeners can have a different preference then the examples listed. That being said, I absoluety encourage listeners to be vocal about their preferences.