How long is too long to wait for a listener to get back to you?
Hi everyone.
I have contacted a listener over 15 days ago, she seemed to be a really good listener accoridng to my own criteria, with a meticulous profile and requirements and I read through all. I wanted someone who's serious and a critical thinker, gives constructive feedback. She got back to me and said jm not clear enough, encouraged me to review the profile again and go over the details and requirements before we can start and specify the problem. I did so and messaged her again clarifying the topic as she requested, etc. It was 15 days ago and she hasn't gotten back to me, she's been online and offline. Is that too long? I mean I kind of wanna ask her are you going to get back to me, is it the holidays or what? But I don't know how to ask that. I don't know if I'm being rejected or what. Any advice?
@Shabdiz
YES, 15 days is too much! Listeners are supposed to change their status to "on break/self-care" if they are going to off the platform for an extended period of time so members don't feel ignored or neglected if they message during that time.
And yes, December can be a busy holiday time, but if the listener's account status has not been paused, you are not being unreasonable in expecting some type of response.
Hope you find a connection soon ❤️
Thank you so much for your response.
Actually she has specified that she only is available certain days, so taking that into consideration, I knew for most of the week that she's not going to get back to me, which was fine. Still there were 3 days a week to write back to me.
I'm not sure if she's changed her status to "on break/self-care" or not, since I didn't know I didn't check. I only saw the green, orange or red light if I'm not mistaken about the colors.
Maybe I didn't meet her requirements. Or maybe there has been misunderstanding. It was my English at the beginning that threw me off. She asks people to specify the topic in 2 to 3 sentences. And I thought getting unstuck is specific enough, keeping the topic for the conversation. I didn't know it has to be something like I'm stuck in my career choices I'm not sure which... she said she's open to the conversation but I'm vague, so I fixed that in my next message quickly hoping she will accept it this time. But maybe I didn't make the requirements.
Sorry for being too wordy. Thanks for reading.
@Shabdiz Demanding a clear problem specification before you start, subject to various details and requirements, seems to me to conflict with the idea of "really good listener". The way you describe it makes it sound like she has made you the listener, and you are having to struggle to understand her needs and difficulties.
Anyway, yes, I agree that 15 days is too much. Personally, I think you are being rejected.
Listeners are allowed to reject members we don't feel comfortable chatting to, by explaining the reason and blocking the conversation. Or, if it happens in the middle of a chat we can try to find another listener to take over. Simply ghosting a member is not allowed. You could report this listener so she can be helped to understand the listener role better.
Charlie
Thanks Charlie, this really helped open my eyes about what I was going through with this listener. I did a follow up and got blamed for her ghosting me. She made it more and more complicated and difficult to a point it felt like drowning and being punished. Not just for the timing but much more. So that's where what you said totally made sense. I got out if it by blocking her. The only thing I regret is blocking her right after I sent her replies, which I'm guessing won't allow her to read those messages since they disappeared on my side. So she didn't get to read how her messages were baffeling and contradictory and affecting me negatively. I will report her though for all this when I can. Thank you.
Have a good day and a wonderful new year.
@Shabdiz You guessed right—those final messages you sent will never be read. Yes, do report her. You can do it here, for example.
Thank you for your good wishes 😃 Happy New Year!
Charlie
Sure! Thanks for everything! 😊❤🎉
@RarelyCharlie
I completely agree