Why do most listeners disappear mid conversation?
It's just such a common occurence now that I have a conversation and 10 minutes in afte I've invested so much time and effort articulating my thoughts, they just stop replying. Why is this?
@bluePlum588 It is a good question.
Based on previous discussions here in the forum, I'd say no one really knows the answer and no one is able to prevent it.
Charlie
@bluePlum588. Does it happen right after you do an evaluation? That's happened to me. If it's good that's all they need, if it's bad, why bother. Not all of them are like that but I know what you mean and I seldom get a listener any more. I had to have five listener chats to get into the chat rooms and I found most of them not so helpful.
@Riverswancycnus What do you mean by evaluation? I'm just in a chat with a listener, I'm not aware of any evaluation..?
@bluePlum588. When I have s listener about five minutes into the conversation the screen breaks into a request to rate the listener 1+5 stars and a comment. That doesn't always happen? Oh. Ok. Interesting
@Riverswancycnus Oh that, yeah I get that. I thought you meant the listener doing an evaluation on the speaker. But I don't give my feedback that early, I just close the dialogue box and wait till the end of our interraction. I don't even know why they force you to give feedback after 5 minutes, that makes 0 sense.
@Riverswancycnus as far as I know, listeners aren't aware of when that rating pop up is sent automatically to members, and there's no way to tell one was just filled out (unless told so by the member), so I doubt that would be the case unless a listener is explicitly asking for a rating/review and then abandoning the chat once told it's done :/
@TaranWanderer. Ok. Didn't know that. Then I have no idea why they don't. But it does happen a lot
Any insights, as a listenet
@Riverswancycnus it's understandable, it's not made clear that it's an automatic popup (which happens way too early in the chat, in my opinion), so I've seen a few members believe it was the listener requesting a rating. As for why they leave...I wish I knew the answers. I can't imagine why someone would come here as a listener and not give someone their full attention and be honest about having to leave. But we see it happening so much... to me, I'm feeling like maybe these listeners aren't taking their role seriously, just see it as something to do for fun or when they're bored, without realizing that being left is very hurtful :( I've also experienced it many times on my member account, and it's just so invalidating and I feel sorry for everyone who has to go through it when they were just reaching out for support
@bluePlum588. Sometimes it's tech issues, sometimes they're triggered.
@Riverswancycnus
If they get so easily triggered then maybe being a listener is not the right role for them.
@bluePlum588. They should be reported and if it's the same ones all the time they should be banned from listening
@Riverswancycnus How do you report? Is it the block function?
@bluePlum588. Unfortunately I don't know. Maybe some else does.
@bluePlum588 yes exactly, the rating/block system is also generally the place to report
@bluePlum588 it's true, this has been an ongoing issue that probably has a lot of causes (improper training leaving listeners feeling unequipped or just not properly vetting out 'bad' listeners, random things coming up, listeners not taking it seriously, triggers, etc), and since the causes are so varied/mysterious, so would the solution to it :/ it's not a fun experience and I wish it didn't happen, especially not as often as it does. The best you can do is report using the rating function and write in a description of what happened (don't have to share more than you want, even just "they stopped replying" would work)...and keep trying to find a better listener :( the main point being... it's definitely not your fault and you deserve a better experience
@TaranWanderer
@TaranWandererh how do you get back to the evaluation if you've already done it?
@Riverswancycnus unfortunately I don't think you can take it back :( you might be able to email community@7cups.com about it, but I have no idea the effectiveness of that
@TaranWanderer I think I once read that if you do a second evaluation it overwrites the first one, but I'm not sure whether it's true.
You can also report both listeners and members using the Submit a request form in the Help Center.
Concerns have been raised (but never really answered, as far as I know) about the effectiveness of reporting, no matter which way you go about it.
Charlie
@RarelyCharlie hmm hard to know for sure...I do know you can't give a new rating for a while (not sure if it's linked to time or number of chats since the last review? It says something similar to "it's been too soon since your last rating" and doesn't let you give another)
True..I at least think that people are getting the coaching emails, since I've seen listeners "complain" about getting them when they feel they're unjustified, so I'm assuming they are going out when the negative reviews are given with specific reasons, which is better than nothing...but will still be on the listener to take it seriously and make a change
@bluePlum588
I have only done that if something came up and I had no time to say anything. Like my internet going down, getting a phone call that is more serious or something at home happening.
As for why listeners do that, I can think of a few reasons other than what I listed:
- Chat is too difficult for them to handle.
- They don't know what to say. Sometimes the member barely gives you anything to work with, giving dead end replies mostly and it feels like you are pressuring them to talk.
- They got triggered. In my opinion if someone gets triggered easily then they shouldn't sign up to be a listener.
- They don't take it as seriously. This is probably the most common reason. They don't see as an active session but rather than just a regular chat.
- They take more chats at a time and eventually lose track.
@Aylexis Yeah, from what you've listed I don't see a justifiable reason to do this. If you gett a phone call that is more serious or something at home is happening then you can easily take 2 seconds to write "Sorry, something has come up, I have to go." or even several hours after leave an apology "Sorry I left mid conversation, something very serious came up".
@bluePlum588
I worked as a nurse (and would get called at any time) and have a baby at home, who will always be my priority above everything else. It's really not a justfiable excuse at all, but listeners are still humans too. I agree about the second one though, if I do leave which I avoid at all cost I apologize after. But not every person takes their duty here that seriously and people tend to not be as responsible in general as harsh as that sounds, it's true. It happened to me as a member as well.
Over time I have encountered different types of members and listeners. Some are genuinely looking for help, others fancy an hour or so of trolling and then there
