Relationship & Friendship Support Community

...See more My boyfriend is in somewhat of a crisis. We were talking about past relationships when I mentioned how I had admired a picture of a young man who was in a magazine I used to receive 42 years ago. He suddenly went quiet and said that I made him feel emasculated because of my admiration of someone who is probably now older than me. I was 23 when I admired this picture. I told him that he was being jealous of a picture that was almost half a century old. And that I was very young at that time. He continued to say how emasculated he felt. I continued to say that this was an anxiety/insecurity issue. I told him this was due to nothing I had said or done. It related to the fact that he had issues with relationships he had in the past. I'm wondering where all this is coming from. I don't know what to say to all of this. I'd like to understand what is going on. I do realize that this has to relate to his past. I know I have done nothing to cause this to raise its ugly head. I'm at a loss what to say to him about this. I've never had anyone say that a picture from 42 years ago makes them jealous and emasculated. I'm beginning to think I need to take some time from this relationship and examine what I might be doing to cause this to occur. I've suddenly had more problems in this relationship that any I have ever had. I guess what I'm trying to say is I've reached a point in my life where I don't have the patience or time to give to this relationship. I have more time behind me than in front of me and I need to take that into consideration. He constantly asks me questions about maybe I should just hang up and go on with my life. So much self-depreciation in his questions and tone. He's always saying I can do better than him. It drives me nuts with his attitude. So I'll take that break from this relationship and see what I can see from a distance. 😞

Should I attempt being friends or let it all go...

by BabyBlueFox

17 hours ago

...See more I've (28F) been in a very toxic, unhealthy, and at times abusive relationship. We split up (I initiated the breakup) again hopefully for the last time but I left the option of friends on the table. He (30M) said he wanted to at least be friends but constantly crosses boundaries. Expects me to check in and let him know where I'm going and when, call and text all the time, see him regularly throughout the week, didn't respect when I ask him not to touch me/grab at me, still wants to be very touchy feely, always questions where I am, who I'm with, who I'm talking to, if I'm talking about him, says I'm not allowed to talk to his friends (who I have become close with after a year and a half). Overall, it's just a lot and very controlling (at least i feel like it's controlling, he says it's all concern). Well a lot of this came to a head Saturday night and we got into a massive fight and he ended up telling me he can't respect my boundaries because he still loves me and misses me. He got very erratic and made me feel very unsafe (I'm glossing over details because there was a lot that happened). I Sunday I did not speak to him at all because I was still highly upset at everything that happened on Saturday. On a normal day to day basis, I do enjoy talking to him the majority of the time we talk. We agree on a lot of things, have similar viewpoints, and usually the conversations are good. We both like watching our shows together and going to dinner and seeing new movies. There's a lot that is good from a friendship standpoint, but the rest puts a heavy strain on me and causes a lot of stress. And at this point I don't know if it's even worth trying to patch things up to be friends. As of this post, we are not speaking and he has not responded to my message. I really do not know what the best move is from here and would really appreciate anyone who is willing to talk through some of this with me.

being vulnerable after toxic relationship

by tallScarf4151

17 hours ago

Husband wants parents to live with us

by neonSummer8296

19 hours ago

...See more My husband and I have been married for just over a year now. His parents live in another country. He told me pretty early in our relationship that he wants to bring them over to live with him a couple years down the road so it’s important to him that whoever he marries is okay with that. He did assure me that it wouldn’t be right away, it would be 5 years into the marriage or maybe whenever we’re having kids. At the time I said I was okay with it since it would be a couple years into the marriage and we probably wouldn’t be too concerned about having some privacy. I’ve grown up in the states but we have the same cultural background so parents staying with us isn’t a huge shocker culturally. I visited them a month ago in his home country and stayed with them for a week by myself. Don’t get me wrong, they’re both nice people but I also felt like they were on their best behavior for me. I’m concerned because even then they seemed very pushy about how I should dress (they bought me traditional a.k.a more conservative clothes to wear for my visit and insisted I wear those and not the clothes, mainly tees and jeans, I brought with me), they are definitely more religious than my family and expected me to be as well (which was fine for a few days in a different country but probably wouldn’t fly in daily life), they have a lot of restrictions on what you can or should eat and on what days and I have health issues that force me to eat a certain way. For example, they can’t eat meat on certain days of the week and generally have very high carb foods but my health issues require me to follow a high protein, low carb, low fat diet. Im okay with them following whatever they want but the issue arises because they also try to directly or indirectly force me to eat according to what works for them. Maybe some of this wouldn’t be such a concern a couple years down the road but my husband is saying he wants to bring them over for a visit and have them stay with us for a couple of months (4-5). Besides the things I experienced when I visited my in-laws, I am also concerned because my husband and I had constant fights and our marriage was on the rocks the couple of months we stayed with my parents after the wedding because of not having any privacy or a space to ourselves. Even now, we stay 2 hours from them and they ask us to visit every other weekend and that causes fights because he feels like we don’t get any time to ourselves. I’m not sure how it’s going to go if his parents are staying with us, especially since they seem to stress him out quite a bit. I have spoken to him about how I felt staying with his parents when I visited them and what my concerns are about them staying with us in the future. He did assure me that even if they are staying with us down the road, they will probably leave us alone for the most part and mind their own business or try to help us out around the house but I’m not convinced that they won’t meddle or insist on how some things should be done. I understand that any relationship needs some adjustment, I just don’t want it to turn into them expecting me to do everything according to how they like it. I could really use some advice if anyone has any. I’m not expecting someone to just magically have a solution but even bouncing ideas off of someone would be great.

I regret having children

by agreeableBalsam5185

20 hours ago

Am i the a**hole??

by decisiveCircle3395

1 day ago

...See more So i was living with my bf at his parents house for about 4 months until we saved up to have our own place. He’s the baby, it’s just him and his older brother who doesn’t live there but visits on the weekends. Their dad would be out of town Monday-Friday and his mother who is a house wife, no job would be there. Since my bf graduated from college(2020), it was only him and his mom in the house a majority of the time. Anyway, I went into work while he had a work from home job. I bought my toiletries, some food, and necessities like make up or just random things. His parents were very laid back and didn’t mind me staying. We rented out a 1BR in Houston that is 1500 a month. No one helps us with rent. so once we moved out, his mother offered to buy some of our furniture like a couch, comforter set, curtains, etc. mind you, this obviously isn’t her money, it’s her husbands. And i get it, his money is her money, they’re married. So when it came to the couch, she didn’t ask much for my opinion. Just his. When it came to buying paintings to hang up on the wall, she wanted him to come with her to buy paintings, and i had to go out of my way to ask my bf to send pictures of the painting since i wasnt included in this mommy-and-son-paint-buying date. No one asked for my opinion. She bought us a rug that was too small according to HIM, in the living room. I thought it was fine. She offered to buy a bigger one. 2-3 weeks later I’m under the impression that we’re getting the same rug, but bigger, according to my bf, but instead he brings a completely different rug….that she bought. this furniture buying behind my back and not asking me if i like it goes on 3 more times until i get frustrated. I get it, she went out of her way to spend her husbands money on us for our apartment but it’s all the things HE likes. I did tell him how i felt and he tells me, “it’s not your money” “your parents didn’t help” and i understand that but 5 times of not asking me if i like this piece of furniture before your mom buys it doesn’t cross yalls mind??? This is OUR apartment. I don’t want things in the apartment that only you like and no one is considering what i like? Does that make me ungrateful? For wanting the rug and comforter set sent back? Even when i didn’t ask for the furniture? They just impulse bought and mad because i didn’t like it or agree on it….even when i never asked for help on buying furniture. im really upset because i checked his phone and saw his mother talking sh*t about me, calling me a *** and stating that my parents haven’t helped. Like i previously mentioned, i don’t need a rug that bad, i don’t need paintings that bad, i don’t need curtains that bad. As long as i have food and a bed, I’m good. All the fancy stuff comes later. I don’t like relying on ANYONE because ppl like to hold it over your head. Anyways, i check his phone, she calls me a ***, she says “i hope she has $400 dollars to buy another rug”, she says “well are her parents gonna buy her some furniture for the apartment?”. was it that deep for you to call me a ***? Talk about my parents? All you had to do was include me. Even though i still don’t care for material things, it is MY apartment. And we’re paying rent, if my name is on that lease, i don’t want to walk into my place looking at some random ugly a** rug that i never wanted. my bf is a mommas boy, spoiled, and like i said, the youngest who has been under his moms wing and takes all of her advice and doesn’t think for himself at times. at the age of 25. No shade at all but i told him she wasn’t being all that considerate especially since she’s not the renter of the apartment i come to at the end of my day. I feel like I’m renting out her space. I feel like we’re in a throuple and not a couple. I feel like he cares about what his mom has to say and think over what i have to say or think. but AITAH???

Tell me I’m wrong for assuming this?

by emotionalSpruce7886

1 day ago

...See more I am Catholic. I am trying to really hard to stay following my faith. In marriage, we believe in not using any contraceptives. I do not believe in that because I’m not ready for kids for like the first few years. But I have to follow my religion rules. I’m engaged right now. I have to follow NFP (natural family planning) by tracking my cycle & only being intimate during my infertile times. My fiancé knows about this & has known since the middle/end of august. He is having trouble accepting this & I understand why. But I have been tracking for months & I know my safe days. & he keeps telling me he can do it but then keeps asking me how sure I am that we won’t get pregnant. I keep reassuring him because I’m used to tracking now. Because he wants to marry me but is just overthinking. He told me he was fine with it a few weeks ago but then last night he kept telling me, “this is really hard to follow through with” & I told him I understood. We’ve done this once & I did not end up pregnant & I was trying to reassure him that we would be okay. He then said, “okay yeah but that’s only one time. What about the future times?” & I kept trying to reassure him but he kept saying it was too hard to follow through with and that he needed to know that nothing would happen. So I took it as him leaving me. I stopped trying to reassure him & said, “okay. If this is you telling me you can’t continue this, then I understand. I’m sorry this was complicated, I never wanted to be. I’ll let you go. Goodnight” & he said “I’m not trying to end things. I was just trying to talk to you. I was trying to talk through this with you & have you help me through it. Why would you say that”. But I DID try to help him through it. I tried to reassure him that we would be fine but he kept asking “what about this” or “what about that” & then said that it was too hard to follow through. So now he’s upset with me because I thought he was trying to leave me. I told him, “good morning, baby. I love you” he completely ignored me & said “good morning” because he’s still upset with me. What the heck?? Didn’t it seem like he was breaking up with me? And I don’t care to hear anyone’s opinions on my religious views.

A lesson your last relationship taught you ?

by Optimisticempath

1 day ago

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