How can I cope with difficulties by socializing and having fun, without alcohol or other drugs?
Last Updated: 03/30/2020 at 4:49am
Melissa Strauss, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I am client focused and believe everyone has a strength. I feel confident in seeing clients with generalized and social anxiety, depression and relational goals.
Top Rated Answers
By finding a good group of friends that either goes to church or that dosnt drink alcohol and do drugs
I used to use alcohol and drugs to help be more social and outgoing - but I found over time that I could avoid the unpleasant physical and mental toll the self abuse was taking by interacting more online. Joining a community where a hobby or passion is shared is a great way to divert that energy into something more productive and positive - it just takes practice!
When you'll have the right people around you who'll guide you as well as enjoy with you, you'll overcome difficulties. You just have to be with the right people.
There are many things you can do that gives you a natural high! Try something new, learn to skate, learn to bowl, things like that! When you're with your friends just have fun by doing something that is good clean fun!
Family activities such as going to the beach or a walk. If you have a work function and you really must attend it would be best to tell your boss that you dont drink and briefly explain why. Particularly in the first 1 or 2 months staying away from alcohol totally is the best option. But always remember 1 drink is too many and 100 is not enough.
As a person in recovery. it is important to remember that "peace, place, and things," are very important in our recovery. It is good to hang out with sober people, maybe go out with some people from some meetings. Some area AA/Alanon groups host group activities. However, if you are around people drinking and using drugs, you can have fun by trying to find some people that do not look like they are drinking too much and try to start a conversation with them. Get yourself a soda and try to talk to some people. If any point in time- you feel uncomfortable or ESPECIALLY if you have an urge to use, leave the setting and call your sponsor. The longer you are in recovery the easier it will get being around other people who drink but also the longer you are in recovery, you start gravitating towards different people, and usually are only around alcohol at a wedding, graduation party, or reunion, something like that.
This is a subject close to my heart! At first, it's going to be very weird without alcohol and drugs. Your friends might have to get used to the idea, and you might also need to get used to the idea. Just try to remember why you made that choice and get comfortable with that choice. If you feel okay with it, let others know why you decided to stop. It might alleviate the peer pressure. Just remember that your decision to refrain was solid, and you have all the right in the world not to participate in drug use or drinking. Just because you're in the minority as a sober person, doesn't make you any less fun!
The answer depends on the reason a person would utilize these substances during social situations. If it is because of anxiety around the events, try hanging out in smaller more intimate groups with people you like and trust. If it’s because that is what the people you know typically do, try to invite them to more daytime physical activities that don’t require or typically involve drinking and that keep your hands busy (canoeing, rock climbing, bike riding, yoga, etc). If it is because you are experiencing social pressure to drink, voice your sentiments toward bettering yourself and cutting back on drinking. If they are good friends they will understand. It is at this point if they do not that you will need to decide whether you want to develop strong self control or better relationships elsewhere.
Perhaps it's different from person to person, but for me, alcohol never helped me cope -- it just made me forget of the difficulty for a day, made me super dizzy the next day (which only had to happen once for me to hate it so much I don't want to do it again haha) and physically unable to focus on the coping process, worry about my liver the next day, and eventually just delayed the whole processing of my difficulty. As for other drugs, I don't allow them as options. So, depending on the level of difficulties I'm facing, I usually do different things. If it's a low level of difficulty, like a bad day in the office, I socialize and enjoy the conversation and laughter over good jokes with a group of friends, or have some healthy fun like bowling or light movies. When I go home, I listen to calming instrumental music or nature sound. If it's a medium level of difficulty, like a prolonged communication problem in a relationship, I talk to my mom or a close friend, on top of taking the steps to solve the issue. If the difficulty lasts longer, for growth, I read a good book that could give me another perspective to solve the issue, but not too much of the stressful ones, fictions with good contemplative stories like Mitch Albom or Paulo Coelho usually do the work for me. For fun, I resort to arts, maybe take a random painting class and start a project at home. If it's a high level of difficulty, like grieving for a loss, I talk to my family or close friends, and seek the answers to the big questions of life. I contemplate and pray even more than what I do at the lower levels of difficulties. I read books, too. If possible, planning a trip with family or close friends or solo sounds like a good option, too, to take a break from the daily routine. Hope that helps!
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