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I relapsed and am too ashamed to tell anyone-what can I do?

17 Answers
Last Updated: 11/17/2020 at 2:52pm
I relapsed and am too ashamed to tell anyone-what can I do?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jackie Dross, M.S. Community Counseling


I have a passion for working with people from a non-judgmental, strengths based approach to meet their goals for personal growth.

Top Rated Answers
November 9th, 2014 8:44pm
It's always hard to face what you feel is failure. But you are in a process, and you are doing the best you can. Relapses are normal, and all it means is that you are fighting a battle and you took a blow. All you need is to pick yourself up again, and keep trying.
January 2nd, 2015 9:33pm
you should never be ashamed to admit that you have fallen. No one has succeeded without having to fall a couple time. Knowing that you are not the only one should encourage you reach out for help,support and guidance
November 12th, 2014 7:41pm
There is nothing to be ashamed of relapse as everyone tend to commit the same mistakes again. The first thing should be in your mind is to break off from its hold and be normal again.
November 18th, 2014 3:16am
I totally know this feeling. I've actually had this happen a few times...and surprisingly every single time, people weren't mad or ashamed of me at all, quite the opposite they were actually PROUD of me to come forward and reach out for help! The fact you can admit you are struggling is a HUGE sign of growth in anyone. Remember, a disease is a disease and not your fault! You aren't responsible for your disease, only your recovery:)
November 20th, 2014 8:15am
Nothing to be ashmed about stay postive all will be good. Start again we all do mistakes dont we?....
October 24th, 2016 6:53am
Don't let it get to you. Everyone makes mistakes and that's perfectly okay. Just because you relapsed doesn't mean it's the end of the world, you just have to keep on going. If it helps, write down every day in a journal! But if it's a situation where you're continuously re-lapsing, know that there is absolutely no shame in telling anyone. It's a difficult thing to do and people will most likely be supportive of you, even if seems otherwise.
October 23rd, 2014 11:32am
No one is perfect we all make mistakes try not to let it get you down and get up what you were doing you will make it with a positive attitude
October 25th, 2014 5:46am
Just try your best to build up enough confidence that I know is hard to tell someone you love and trust to help you because if you don't you will be hurting yourself. For not getting the help you need and deserve. :D
November 9th, 2014 12:02pm
You don't have to tell anyone about a relapse until you are ready. If you are In a twelve step program however, telling your sponsor can not only be freeing but they can support you through the relapse.
November 13th, 2014 8:44pm
the main thing is you know you have relapsed but the end result is pick yourself up brush yourself down and start again feeling positive you can go longer... do not beat yourself up over it as it will stop you going further it takes time sometime years to get clean/dry
January 8th, 2015 1:59am
go to a meeting. no matter what get yourself to one, it is the first step. Surround yourself first with those like you who will understand and not judge, come to terms with your relapse on your own, own your mistake and do not focus on that but what you will do next then approach who you need to tell, with a plan and ask for support through it.
November 17th, 2020 2:52pm
It's important to remember you're not alone. I'd highly recommend reaching out to someone. If speaking or saying the words out loud is too hard. Consider writing down how you're feeling or what you're going through. Then it's up to you to "hand" the letter to someone. Sometimes the hardest people to share with are the people we love the most. It's valid to be afraid, and to worry that we're disappointing others. But if you open up, they won't be nearly as upset as if you tried to hide it. Your loved ones know what mountains you've climbed so far - they won't suddenly stop loving you. Lastly, be kind to yourself. Substance use is difficult, but you're stronger :)
December 22nd, 2014 4:18pm
admitting that you relapsed is the first and most important step in recovery. when you admit of relapsing it does not mean that you are weak or something that you should be ashamed of. it means that you are strong and ready to do everything to improve your situation. however, it could be hard to admit it and finding the right moment and the right person to talk to is the key. find someone who you are comfortable to talk to and start by a simple conversation about your situation. it would be much easier than you think.
December 29th, 2014 2:21am
I suggest talking to an addiction therapist before maybe telling someone closest to you, if not vice versa. It is Bette you talk, so you can seek help before you get too deep into it ahain.
March 15th, 2015 7:26pm
Telling can be the first step, and you will take a few steps back before you get to where you want to be.
July 18th, 2016 6:34am
You should not feel ashamed for relapsing! It happens and it doesn't make you a bad person. You can either reach out to someone you trust, or go to a meeting in your community.
November 15th, 2016 6:51pm
Firstly, well done for admitting you have a problem and that you've realised that you've relapsed. Hopefully, you have the support of a 12 step programme and can find support around you with that. Relapse is very common and all part of the recovery process, it is what you do to go forward with your recovery that matters... :)