If somerone says they want help, and when you offer they slam the door in your face, what is the next step? What can i do to be supportive to them, but take care of myself in the process?
Last Updated: 07/27/2020 at 5:22pm
Andrea Tuck, LCPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I tackle and discuss a multitude of social and emotional health issues. I have a belief that through empowerment and non-judgmental support clients' can thrive.
Top Rated Answers
You can only help those who want help, otherwise it is pointless efforts. Showing someone that you are there for them during trying times is the best thing to do. Don't lose yourself in the process though. Always remember your happiness comes first!
I think in this situation what you need to do is tell the person that you do care about their problems and how they feel and that you do want to help them and it is what you are there for as their friend/a listener (whatever situation you're in). Basically help them to gain an understanding that you want to provide them with help and that you wont judge them. As for taking care of yourself just be ready for any negative comments sent your way as people like this tend to be really defensive and feel as though not many people care about them. Hope this helped :)
Expressing empathy is important in order to prevent them slamming the door in your face. Then next step is to give the person time and follow up with them in several days to get the conversation started again. If offering them help puts your self care in the way, then perhaps you should offer the person to another helper. If you can help, offer empathy, and ask questions to gain a better idea of the issue.
You can't help someone that doesn't want help. Be supportive of this person and if they come to you looking for support make sure that you are there, but other than that you have don all you can.
Approach them in a kind and caring way, but if the situation becomes to difficult to handle then feel free to take a step back and collect yourself.
Try not to get discouraged nor take it personally. Continue to offer your support, but focus on you.
I am concerned for your welfare. Please feel free to leave me a message to arrange another time to chat. I do understand it is not easy sometimes to reach out for help when struggles of life come upon you. Please take care. ☺☺
An intervention might work in such situations. Most of the times, people in a crisis feel reluctant to leave their comfort zones. Make sure the support group you form is constructive however.
In order for someone to feel supported, they need to feel able to trust you, try and built up trust with them and be empathetic when listening. Don`t be offended if someone does not accept your help straight away, or acts strangely, they may just be scared and use it as a defense mechanism. Check up on them regularly, and let them know that you are there to talk when they need it.
I would do my best to respect their need for privacy and reconsider the possibility of me attempting to offer help in a counter-productive manner. To show support, I would make sure they were aware of my availability and simultaneously create a safe environment for them to seek help from me when needed. I would also avoid pushing too much.
Sometimes when people are hurting, they project their pain onto those around them. In those times it is important to remember not take it personally, as they might lash out harder than they originally meant to. Other times, the person might have been offered help before, only to be let down. Patience is key. Listening is hard, but speaking and exposing your inner feelings to another individual is no easy walk either. Let them know you are there for them, that they are not alone. Take it gradually and let the trust build up until the person feel they are ready to talk with you.
You are a very wonderful and kind person for wanting to help someone else in need. However, even though you're ready to give someone your help, the other person might not always be ready to receive that support. The best thing to do is let know clearly know that whenever they are ready to talk, that you will be there for them. I've learned that it's best in life to let the person take the time to gradually process their emotions and grieve. Because if you approach them when they're no ready, they'll just shut down and fail to address their emotions. Just give them the alone time they need to talk to them when they're ready.
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