Alcohol makes me forget. Drugs make me escape. How can I live without them if what I want the most is to forget and escape from my life?
Last Updated: 10/26/2020 at 4:53am
Jackie Dross, M.S. Community Counseling
I have a passion for working with people from a non-judgmental, strengths based approach to meet their goals for personal growth.
Top Rated Answers
I think in this case it is worth considering exactly what it is that you would like to 'forget' maybe a traumatic experience that you could seek support from friends and family to deal with and might be helped by working through it with a trained professional. When you say you would like to 'escape' the same applies while a drug fuelled oblivion may seem a more positive alternative to a meaningless life it is worth considering what it is you seek escape from and then fitting in slowly experiences and relationships that add meaning to your life. But of course it is best to do this while seeing appropriate medical professionals because withdrawal can be dangerous alone.
I think the first answer to that is that you have to learn to love your life. For me, that begins with being compassionate with yourself. Loving you will eventually inspire you to love the things around you, which includes your environment, and ultimately, your life. Living without drugs and alcohol can be hard at first, but once you learn to appreciate what is around you, including that beautiful human that surrounds you everyday (you), the need to forget and escape dwindles.
I don't have a be all end all solution to offer you, but I have been in your shoes. I read through the previous responses, and while they all make a lot of sense, I know from experience that addiction is never logical or reasonable. You might've given yourself 100 reasons why you shouldn't pick up that drink or take that drug, but when the urge takes you, you can't just talk yourself out of it. I think what might help you most, is to have someone micro-manage you and hold you accountable, guide you every step of the way until you are strong enough to hold your own against your urges to escape.
The thing is alcohol and drugs are a coping mechanism, you said it yourself, they help you forget and escape your life. But they also greatly contribute making your life deserving of forgetting and escaping. Wouldn't it be better if you would be able to face what's wrong in your life and try to work on it? I know it probably seems impossible right now, but you can aspire to such greatest things, it can get better.
Alcohol and Drugs make you feel relaxed in the beginning, but slowly they will take over your life and eat it like a termite. You can't live forever by escaping and running from the reality. you need to accept the reality and work to move on. you will need help for that. you will need other people more than anything, to talk to them. Start loving yourself and make yourself feel special. you do not need anyone else for that. pamper yourself and slowly and steadily work hard to make your life better. Talking to people and loving yourself are the best remedies.
Seek help in working through your emotions. Sometimes it's not about forgetting or escaping but about dealing with the underlining emotions that make you feel that you need to forget or escape.
Look at the reasons why you want to forget and escape from your life, have a think, why do you feel this way? If you can think of some reasons, then tackle it head on, make a plan and work to fix this part of your life, so that alcohol and drugs no longer have a hold of you. Alcohol and drugs don't control you, you control them, and so you can decide whether or not to stop taking them!
We get one life to live. Unfortunately we cannot just experience all the good things in life without some of the bad. Once you get onto drugs or alcohol to escape and forget you not only forget the bad things but your also missing out on all the good things that make life worth living.
I understand. You would be surprised how much you can be, and live, without drugs and alcohol. I had a counselor tell me that "you can still have fun with the things you do... do them, just be sober!" It sounded silly at the time, but it is true.
find other things to forget and escape your problems
Take time for yourself. Do things that you would like to do..Maybe shopping or A movie with friends.
I hear you - That's how I felt for a long time, though I couldn't have articulated it so well. My answer would be that the solution is to rebuild your life in a way that you want it. As part of my journey to get free of alcohol, I went to a number of drug and alcohol support groups and saw people who have continued to use either or both for a long period of their life - They seemed far from free and far from forgetting their life. On the contrary, there were weather beaten, anguished faces amongst the people there that suggested that they'd faced the struggles of life more directly than I could imagine. Whether motivated by realisation, or a physiological need, they all considered their escape from alcohol and drugs a great victory. I felt the release whenever I started drinking or taking something, but on reflection it was, of course, a chemical high. The reality was that I fell further into my problems each time, and I took great risks as I lost control. When I decided to stop drinking, I had the money and time to decide what to do with. It wasn't and insignificant amount of time or money, either. practically and (over time) emotionally, this was a far greater freedom for me. Of course, this is just my own testimony - I encourage you not to take my word for it a seek more. Good luck with your journey!
I understand what it's like to feel the need to just escape.. but from personal experience it is not worth it. Whatever emotion you're trying to escape from only intensifies over time as you avoid it through drugs or substance abuse. You can lose family or friends from your habits or get in serious trouble with the law. To help get past this, reaching out for help and having a support team helps get past the hard part. Once sober you realize how clear minded you become and that there are better things to help you forget the pain than to use. Art, writing, family, gaming: It helps distract you, but at some point we must realize that we must face what we don't want to face. To get past the pain, we must overcome it. It is possible to live without drugs and to still be happy. You just need help along the way.
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