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How to trust someone again who has consistently lied?

218 Answers
Last Updated: 09/24/2020 at 3:56pm
How to trust someone again who has consistently lied?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Top Rated Answers
zaix
October 25th, 2015 2:55am
that would be very challenging, trusting someone who has told so many lies, constantly, would be hard to trust anymore. You never know when they are lying or telling the truth, honestly it would be something you'd have to decide how to on your own, because we all have different boundaries and all.
Anonymous
November 20th, 2015 2:00pm
You have to slowly build your trust back up again; try speaking with the person about why they lied, and what made them have to lie.
Anonymous
December 4th, 2015 7:05pm
Allow them to prove themselves through their actions. If you can't trust their words, allow them the space and time to prove you either wrong or right in being able to trust them again.
Pr0blemFree423
January 6th, 2016 12:06am
Earning trust back is one of the hardest things in life. The one who lied needs to be completely open about everything they do. That person should let the person they lied to, go through their entire life (social media, phone, etc). It will take much time, but earning trust back can be done.
LJBedardMACounsellingPsychology
September 20th, 2017 11:15pm
Trust is not about the other person. When you ask "how do I or should I trust someone who consistently lies?" What you are really asking is, "will I be ok if I am betrayed or hurt again?" Confusing "blind trust" with "trust" gets many of us into sticky situations. If you choose to trust someone blindly despite having being lied to repeatedly you are setting your self up to be let down. If you have decided to "trust" someone because you have seen an effort to change and a genuine remorse for having lied in the past, then your decision is being made from a place of clarity and evolving experience. It is always a difficult thing to do, to trust again. I have always found that if I just trust myself enough to know that I will be ok no matter what, the initial question of "how do I trust again?" becomes much easier to address :)
brilliantMirage58
December 14th, 2014 5:47pm
Trust is a strong thing that once broken may not be fixed. If you truly want to trust someone, you must be the one to make the first motion. Tell them you do not like being lied to and you want them to be honest and take baby steps from there.
musicalSea09
September 9th, 2015 4:01am
Be honest with them yourself. Make sure they know what you are feeling and that your trust must be earned. Then hope they think enough of you to earn it.
Anonymous
November 6th, 2015 1:13pm
Gaining someone's trust back is never easy especially if you were the one lied to. I think you have to consider your relationship and how much you care for that person above the lie. This is not always possible when the lie can cause you a lot of pain but ultimately even if you no longer wish to be con nested with that person forgiveness is the only way to move on. So strive for forgiveness not matter what the circumstance and if you can't find it in your heart to forgive then you must at least try to forget.
Anonymous
November 7th, 2015 9:50pm
If you haven't confronted such a person about their consistent lying, you should do so. Really get to the bottom of why they are lying. Are they unhappy about something? get to the bottom of that issue and be sympathetic. It also helps to let them know how much you want to trust them and, while avoiding provoking guilt, let them know how much their lying is affecting you.
KateLovesYou
November 27th, 2015 10:58pm
When someone has constantly lied, if you really care about that person, I believe that he/she must show that he/she really care about you... then, after some time, if the intentions are good, then maybe you can trust again that person.
Anonymous
September 16th, 2016 11:38am
Trust is a very delicate thing, once broken is extremely hard to get it back again, you might forgive the person but those thoughts won't leave the back of your mind, that can be a very emotional draining experience. I would suggest taking things slowly, giving yourself time to heal and giving the other person time to reflect, it is important that you learn to forgive but also learn from the bad experience and grow wiser.
Feelingsmatter
June 28th, 2017 8:42pm
Once the trust circle has been torn, it is very difficult to make it right again. But not impossible. It is important for you to communicate with the person that has lied to you and come to terms on whether or not both of you are going to choose a path where both of you want this broken trust circle whole again. I
AkvileSava
July 21st, 2017 3:13pm
Let go of trying to control people and always hearing the truth for them. Live for yourself, be yourself, care about yourself, love yourself. Others, they have their own lives and agendas. Listen and hear what they say, but don't take it all in.
stongertoday2014
November 26th, 2014 7:18am
Forgiveness. You have to forgive. You never forget but if you must or want to be ok with it, forgiveness is the best way.
LakesideGuy
November 27th, 2014 5:49pm
Sometimes people can regain our trust after a period of time--over that period of time, we might learn to trust that person again after he or she follows through on promises they have made. Depending on the person and your relationship with them, it may or may not help to discuss your concerns with them in a non-confrontational manner.
cosmos19
October 23rd, 2015 12:16pm
Trusting needs courage. Knowing the person is lying to you, he/she should be trusted to let the person realise what wrong he/she is doing. I have always trusted my dear ones even while knowing they are lying. This preserves their natural behavior and lets it realise its mistakes. Trusting is very good medicine to cure lies.
VirginiaMountains
October 25th, 2015 6:49pm
To trust someone who has consistently lied you would have to identify what is causing them to lie as pain and not malice. If this person is someone you care about, remember that under that hurt is the love that attracted you to them. By choosing to open yourself up to be hurt, you will show them that they are worth the risk. By caring enough to do this you can help the person see themselves as you see them. However, this can only be done with the person is ready, if they are not you will only martyr yourself.
greenJOHN1971
November 25th, 2015 4:42am
Well, then, you probably can't really trust that they will never lie to you again. What is their issue? If you can determine that and the reason for the lies and you are sure that they have dealt with the issue and it's resolved, then you can carefully work on a relationship that will slowly build up your trust again with this person.
Helpiness
December 2nd, 2015 1:33pm
It's hard, but I think with time it's possible. And everyone should have a second chance and the aspect why he/she lied is also important :)
Anonymous
January 27th, 2016 10:58pm
Thats a tough one to be honest. I've went through that in my life with a friend. See why they lie and tell them being honest is more better then being caught in a lie. Be very honest about it and if you see a little change thats a good thing. The more they tell the truth the more your trust for them will come back.
empathiclistener20
April 7th, 2017 6:03am
Personally, I would work on forgiving the individual who has broken my trust, as it would be difficult to trust them again if I haven't. I find it takes time for trust come back once it is broken. Be patient, spend time together, build new happy memories and eventually trust will come back.
Gimpster416
February 8th, 2018 2:14am
Trust is a funny word in my experience, 5 letters one syllable but what does it actually mean? Most discussions on trust involve things about what another person will or won't do in a relationship. "I trust him because he would never cheat on me" Or, "I trust her because she always has my back." But what happens when someone falls short of what we expect of them? Through many hard fought battles with trust I now think trust is not something outside of myself dependent on whether another person will or won't hurt me ever (or again) BUT on my own ability to overcome deal with and resolve that hurt if the person does hurt me. We have no control if/when a person hurts us, especially if that hurt is unintentional. The only thing I can control is what I do if it happens. This is the way I use to determine if I am going to invest any more time and effort into repairing the relationship. Especially if it is a repeating pattern I need to make sure I have enough emotional reserve to deal with the aftermath if the person hurts me again. If yes, I can work on the relationship, if I don't have enough emotional reserves or feel I can't survive another blow I might reconsider the relationship.
politeSky4495
February 22nd, 2018 12:35am
You can't trust that person anymore. That person has betrayed you - not once, but over again. You should just let that person go and find a person who actually cares about you. It sucks, but it is really what you should do. If that person doesn't care enough about you to be honest with you, then he/she is a horrible friend.
Missi21
October 25th, 2015 5:53pm
A relationship is based on honesty. For that person to regain your trust, will take time and commitment.
GeminiRay95
October 31st, 2015 4:29am
Urgh, thats a difficult one. It really depends on how much you cared for them and if you have the patience to find out what eventually got them to start acting this way. I personally think everyone deserves at least a second chance in life.
Anonymous
November 18th, 2015 5:45pm
Don't trust. I always believe that trusting people who have lied is difficult and damaging. And this time the pain will be difficult to get over from.
iPray
December 7th, 2015 7:28am
This is to say you have trusted them before after they have lied correct? Some say follow your gut instinct, when sometimes that is the wrong choice and it is based off a simple impulse. Be smart, but with heart. Business majors always speak upon head vs the heart. Understand, we all fall under a few white lies, sometimes others take it to the next level. Trust does not take the other person because it mainly takes you your will to give it. We must not forget to forgive, not just forgive and forget. Trust is give and take, and if you feel that all you have been doing is giving and not receiving, it is time to have a serious sit down with this person and just be transparent. They will see your openness and trust me, no pun intended, it will be easier for them to be open.
Mike30400
December 14th, 2015 1:32am
When someone lies to you it can be really tough, but when they lie to you over and over it can be even harder, because you it is hard to trust anything they are saying. You have to talk to them and hopefully they can work on gaining your trust back. Let them know that the lying is hurting you.
Anonymous
December 18th, 2015 7:30pm
People do have the ability to change, unfortunately, most don't. Lying and deceptiveness are often perpetuated to cover up previous lies and deceptions. The only way to fix this is to allow both people to have a clean slate, and the deceptive person needs to trust the oither enough to forgive them. Much easier said that done.
MovingForward23
March 16th, 2016 8:26pm
I think it's on the other person to change their ways before you give them your trust. They have to EARN it- prove they have changed. Until then, it is your choice who is in your life.