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My family member is an addict and I don't get why they just can't stop now.

18 Answers
Last Updated: 05/17/2022 at 1:40pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.

Top Rated Answers
Kael
September 28th, 2014 9:56am
Addiction is like a mental illness, it's hard to be easily cured. They need professional help to be able to recover.
Inara92
November 7th, 2014 7:04pm
loving an addict can be a hard job. it's not always easy to understand behaviors that we can only see as self-destructive. Using is a (unhealthy) way to cope and it's not easy at all to learn new ways to deal with negative emotions and feelings. it takes time, dedication and support. Anyways, there are support group for families of recovering addicts you could join to better understand your emotions and the journey your family is going through.
Jordon
November 7th, 2014 12:54am
When you are addicted to something, there is a pull towards being in that state of mind again. Every moment that you spend not on the drug becomes a struggle, especially if you are craving it. If you are physically addicted, this is compounded with withdrawal symptoms that will only go away with a relapse. These factors make quitting something cold turkey an incredibly difficult thing to do, depending on the length of time the person has been consuming the drug. A crude analogy could be that it is comparable to fasting. It would take a great deal of effort to force yourself to starve to death, but if you had enough resolve, it is possible. The same goes for quitting a drug. Finally, it is important to remember that the withdrawal symptoms of some drugs are so severe that they can cause death if stopped abruptly. This is true for some benzodiazepines for example. You should always consult a health professional before attempting to quit something if you are addicted to it.
RemyWise
September 23rd, 2014 2:58pm
Addiction is a dependency. They cannot stop until they want to. As a family member you must support them and help them see that quitting their addiciton is the besy way.
Anonymous
January 9th, 2018 2:01am
Addiction is not based on willpower. Addiction is a medical condition and can be best treated by medical professionals. Similarly, depending on the kind of addiction they are struggling with, it may not be physically possible or medically recommended for them to stop immediately. The person needs a supportive group of people who will encourage them to keep their mind on the prize of recovery, who will encourage them to seek medical support, and who will let them know that they are loved. The number one reason addicts struggle with recovery is not knowing about or not pursuing healthier coping mechanisms, to help them cope with negative emotions. The pressure to stop now and the disappointment that follows when they inevitably and physically cannot stop now causes a circular reaction that may lead them using again, which is not an uncommon pattern in addiction recovery. Encouraging the person you know to seek support, and letting them know that though they are hurting you and disappointing you, you are still here for them and want the very best for them, can help them seek professional aid or continue on a supportive path towards recovery.
Pandette
- Expert in Alcohol/Drug Abuse
November 18th, 2014 5:52am
When you are addicted to something, your body basically tells itself you are losing a vital part of yourself and attacks your system until you get that particular drug or whatever else they are addicted to. If you have ever seen someone in recovery, they go through a detox, many experience endless amounts of pain, others feel like they're going crazy, etc. There are so many different reasons why it is so difficult for an addict to stop being addicted. The thing is, they need the support of others and unless they truly want to stop, they won't be able to.
Kharisma
November 5th, 2014 5:28am
Addiction is a serious problem, therefore it is not so easy to just stop whenever. But as their family member, you must support them through the process of trying to quit and make sure they stay on the right path
katejune
November 3rd, 2014 7:42pm
Addiction is a disease like another. They may be experiencing a lot of physical and psychological symptoms that are keeping them from stopping even if they want to.
joyfulForest37
November 3rd, 2014 1:33pm
Its a long road to recovery and will take time they have to face huge barriers not only in there mind set but face themselves and most will not like what they see and so the brain decides to try and alsmost trip them up if you like to.. saying its ok really to take that drug .. the thing the family member needs the most is strong family support professional help also someone to talk to like me on on 7 cups who get where they are
Anonymous
October 30th, 2014 10:18pm
Addiction is a dangerous thing, and if you're completely addicted then it becomes difficult to be rational. They should seek professional help and have the support of family to overcome this
Becca123
October 24th, 2014 12:59am
Addictions can be hard to shake. It is up to the individual and only them, to make the decision to stop.
Anonymous
October 20th, 2014 3:22am
Each addict has a threshold that must be reached, where they realize what the addiction has done to change their life. If the addict isn't at a point where he/she believes that the addiction is a problem or family members enable the addict, then the addiction will continue.
avaultforyoursecrets
September 23rd, 2014 4:59am
Addiction is a difficult thing to go through. It sounds like they really need your love and support. Don't give up dear.
Anonymous
April 26th, 2015 5:06pm
He/She just can't stop on his/her own just like that, it requires the whole family members to help get through those difficult times.
neverendingFireworks50
November 30th, 2015 8:26pm
Is there any physical abuse because of it? Explain to them the feelings you have when they're doing this. Give them an addict hotline number. Let them know they're not alone
Anonymous
June 25th, 2019 8:19am
My father is an alcoholic and is still one. He has gone to rehab multiple times but we just can’t change him. It’s hard for someone to just stop and even harder for the people around them. It can get tough at some points, but just remember to stick with them. I still love my father but I can’t even bear to look at him the same anymore. Love them and let them know that you care for them and want them to be safe.
Anonymous
May 17th, 2022 9:18am
Remember you are not responsible neither are you doing anything wrong, they just put the thought in their head and it will be difficult to change someone’s mind, especially where they have made a decision to risk their lives and whether they realise it or not, yours too. The wise thing to do is and I am not giving advice is to live a better life. Respect their choice and think about what it means to them. In other words, what can help you get out of unpleasant situations that may arise while you are with this person, how to get them out of your way if they become toxic. Don’t be afraid to seek the help of another family member or a trusted adult. You are going to always have to see someone and get the negativity pit of your system. It’s not your fault, but it’s good to address a problem when it is there
naturallistener6657
May 17th, 2022 1:40pm
This is a common question. but the truth is, it is not that easy to quit. Addiction is a chronic brain disease, not a moral flaw or a lack of willpower. Addiction is not just a matter of lack of willpower. Addiction changes the brain and hijacks the reward system, which affects the release of the neurotransmitter dopamine. That’s how the brain becomes addicted to drugs. This artificially induced dopamine release increases the risk of addiction. Substance abuse speeds the flow of dopamine and overloads the brain until it becomes less able to produce dopamine on its own.