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Should I continue a relationship with my partner who is still abusing drugs if I am now recovered ?

15 Answers
Last Updated: 11/08/2021 at 3:42am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Polly Letsch, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.

Top Rated Answers
Exavier300
February 25th, 2015 5:08am
I am sorry to say this but no. With your partner being involved in drugs that tempation will always be there. You are recovering and forever will be. The easy access to drugs makes it easy for you to relapse.
MaryWyath
February 22nd, 2015 7:16am
You should if you love him/her, of course. Now that you're recovered, you can try to convince him/her to do the same and you will help him/her through giving the best support and tips.
KeepSmilingAlwyz
April 12th, 2015 7:50pm
If you feel it will benefit & brings progress towards recovery, then yes. However, if you feel that continuing the relationship will bring you back to abusing drugs, then move yourself to a healthier environment.
Anonymous
May 5th, 2015 3:20pm
I personally believe that this is not the best idea, though I do not know your situation fully. There is a possibility that you may feel the urge to start using again. For me, I didn't feel the urge to start, but I ended up resenting him for continuing to do it when I was around.
heavenlySun21
May 10th, 2015 7:29pm
When my dad was in recovery, he had to change his whole lifestyle. he left behind old buddies that he used to do drugs with in fear that his desire to use would be triggered and that his disease would come out of remission. I don't give advice, but it is something to consider while in recovery.
BeanieWolfy
May 28th, 2015 1:17pm
If you love the person, then yes. But you can ask the person not to do drugs in front of you or offer you any. You are so strong, you managed to quit, you can help your partner quit too, you can do it, i believe in you! Good Luck ^ ^
greenJOHN1971
November 25th, 2015 7:40pm
Are you still happy in the relationship? Do you think that you may relapse since your partner is still using? There are a lot of questions that you need to think about, but the bottom line is you have to do what is right for you and your recovery. How do you feel about this?
HelpWisely
- Expert in Alcohol/Drug Abuse
December 21st, 2015 9:42am
If you have already recovered then you owe it to yourself to avoid people who are still abusing drugs because they might influence or convince you to use drugs again. Creating a drug-free environment around you can help you to continue a beautiful life free from drugs.
Anonymous
September 6th, 2016 3:32pm
Yes you should but not for the romantic element of this relationship alone. Be that success story that will help him/her to quit doing drugs. Mentor him/her, suggest measures as to how to get rid of it and do put your example in his/her perspective. Lastly, make him/her realize how hurtful it is for you to concede to the fact that he/she is prefers substance drugs to your love. A drug most addictive in the most better way :)
Anonymous
September 11th, 2016 3:27pm
Most people and literature will tell you absolutely not. They will also tell you no one is "recovered" as each day that you are faced with a trigger or old places, people, or things, you will have to fight for your recovery. Having said this, most will say how will you possibly avoid using if your are so close to someone who still is. What you need to ask yourself is WHO is more important. Choosing your partner may mean your recovery is in jeopardy.
Anonymous
December 5th, 2016 6:51pm
It is a hard thing to do. However, if you have gotten sober and plan to stay that way a relationship with a user could put your sobriety in jeopardy. Being involved with someone who uses is difficult for many reasons. It is harder to be around them while they are high/coming down, you put yourself at a risk to get mixed up and possibly arrested, you also put yourself in a situation where relapse rates are high. Sometimes it is hard to do what is right for us, because we have a want to help the user, but you have to help yourself first.
gongoozlersoup19
November 14th, 2017 4:49pm
This is your decision, but the relationship could be a hindrance to your recovery. The continual struggle of your partner could be triggering to you maintaining sobriety.
calmZebra60
November 15th, 2017 6:30pm
I would say no. In the end the choice is up to you, but being around an active user will leave an addict with a perpetual feeling of emptiness. And recovering is always ongoing. One slip could send us down the wrong path again. Best of luck!
Jesselistens2294
March 22nd, 2021 1:25pm
If someone is abusing drugs and you are an addict, you have to try and think...is this healthy for me and my recovery? the answer you will likely come to is no, it is not healthy... Indeed it can be hard. However, you always should put your recovery first because without it you can not properly help others ya know? Anyway so maybe take some time to think about it. Try and do a list of pros and cons to what would be the route you chose. Whether to leave or not, the choice is of course yours. Just please always remember that your recovery is in fact a big deal and you are an important part of the world!
Anonymous
November 8th, 2021 3:42am
Being in recovery from alcohol or drug abuse takes a lot of hard work and push. When it comes to being recovered and being in a relationship with a partner who is still abusing drugs, the biggest priority is yourself. Sometimes you need to be selfish in order to protect your well-being by being in a positive space and surrounding yourself with people who will keep you in the right path. Letting the relationship go depends, sometimes you can continue the relationship, and sometimes it’s better to let things go. You may love the person dearly, but if being with the person makes it hard for you to stay in recovery, it isn’t worth continuing the relationship. Especially after all the hard work and steps it took to even lead to recovery. Sometimes if a person has the strength to stick with their recovery and not be tempted into abusing drugs again, they are able to stay in a relationship. They may be able to motivate their partner to receive help, and even go through the process together, but then again, some don’t want to receive help. Also If being with a partner who acts different while on drugs, and causes you physical or even emotional harm, it wouldn’t be beneficial to continue the relationship. Continuing a relationship in those type of circumstances all depends on the person, but the main priority is yourself and protecting your well-being