What do I do if I'm too embarrassed to ask for help?
Last Updated: 10/12/2020 at 10:08pm
Amanda Wiginton, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
Now is the time to make a change! Professional, empathic, and compassionate therapist waiting to help you make healthy life changes.
Top Rated Answers
Never feel embarrassed to ask for help. I used to personally feel this way until I spoke to my college tutor about how I was feeling, and what I was going through or had been through, I was so embarrassed but he made me feel at ease and explained that there was nothing to feel embarrassed about, everybody has struggles and that's okay. If you feel embarrassed about speaking to somebody you know or speaking face to face, then just pop along to 7 Cups of Tea and speak to somebody anonymously here, somebody who will never judge you and support you as much as they can.
As hard as it might be to ask, it's the best thing to do. Getting help is the first stop of truly changing your life around. Even if it's just a friend or even a listener here on 7 Cups, start your journey now, and get the benefits sooner.
I'd use an analogy here to help sum this up. Imagine you were walking along carrying a big stack of boxes that contained cakes. It was too heavy for you, and the stack was far too high. You should really ask for help, but you're too embarrassed to. Inevitably you fall over, the cakes go everywhere, you're covered in cake and cream and icing, and it's a mess. The question is this - which is more embarrassing, having to ask for help, or dealing with the final disaster that occurred that might've been avoided if you'd asked for help?
There is no need to be embarrassed. Everyone needs help once in a while. If you're afraid to talk to someone in person you can call or text. Talk to a friend or even a stranger, though I recommend talking to a stranger online rather than in person. It's not good to bottle things up. You can also write in a journal to help you release your thoughts.
Ask anyways! It is important to share what's going on inside of you and nothing can change or get better if you keep silent. Connect to a listener. Even talking to a listener on 7 cups can give you relief and make you feel better.
Everyone has the doubts about asking for help. You can always ask for help here at 7 cups of tea anonymously without anyone knowing who you are or where you are from.
You should never be too embarrassed to ask for help! As people, we all face different situations and think to feel about them. Nobody worthwhile will make fun of you for trying to feel better.
You're worth it! Most people need a little help at some point, and there's no shame in that. It might be hard, but it will definitely be worth it.
I think this is why some of us have sought emotional refuge at places like 7Cups. Sometimes talking about ourselves in such an honest and candid way, can be intimidating. In society, we're conditioned to believing we need to appear as normal as anyone else- when in reality, we're all kind of going through things and pretending we're not. There are dozens of ways you could go about this. You could try talking to Listeners on here, and build up your confidence about speaking your mind. Sometimes, being able to organize our thoughts can help encourage us to share them again. When we learn how to tell our story- figuring out which parts of our history impacted us and are significant to mention, and which parts we might not be ready to tell.. we can feel comfortable seeking help. Sometimes, it can feel like once we open up, we ramble, don't know how much is "too much self-disclosure", and afterward, we can feel like we've said too much, even after just barely scraping the surface. What is also cool though is that the more we become comfortable with telling our story, the more we can analyze it on our own and find the answers we had always thought we'd find in the wisdom of others. So I guess, if you're feeling too embarrassed to ask for help, try having conversations with a little self-disclosure with someone you trust- a professional or otherwise. Create symbolic art, write poetry or stories with characters you relate to, frequent mental health forums and safe spaces and connect to people who have or are going thru the same thing... until you feel ready to take that chance of getting the help you need. You deserve to thrive. I hope you are able to reach out for help soon, if you haven't already, love. Take care.
I'm guessing you're feeling embarrassment and shame. I felt the same things when I first started struggling from anxiety. I also downplayed my problems and thought they weren't bad enough to seek help. Finally, I got to a breaking point and did tell friends. It was immensely helpful. First, they had experienced similar things and could recommend doctors for me. Second, they did nothing but support me. It felt so good to feel less alone and that my friends still accepted me. Even just working to try and get help is a relief and is empowering. So there are A LOT of benefits to getting help. Feeling better so outweighs the risk of embarrassment.
Remember it's never better to bottle things up inside. Talking to someone, anyone, will always make things clearer. Embarrassment is a funny emotion and can be disabling, but remembering that everyone has to ask for help from time to time (even the people who look like they've got everything figured out!) may help you realise that we're all human and there's nothing wrong with asking for support - it's normal! Different ways of asking for help that isn't face to face may also be a good solution if you're embarrassed; things like looking online for support, or texting/calling for help may be more manageable. Hope this helps!
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