Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Why do people addicted to alcohol seem to hurt you so bad but they don't realize?

15 Answers
Last Updated: 08/05/2023 at 10:33pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
India
Moderated by

Jui Shankar, Ph.D

Psychologist

My worldview offers a systems perspective that values diverse clients and their struggles. I believe supportive and nonjudgmental therapeutic relationships empower clients.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
February 1st, 2015 1:44am
when a person is addicted to alcohol, they tend to look at everything from a different perspective than a rational person would. They may harm people around them but all they see is their own problems. That's one reason why we have to be patient with addicted people. It isn't as obvious to them as it is to us that they are harming both themselves and people around them.
Anonymous
December 12th, 2017 8:29pm
Alcohol is a drug and a lot of people don't realize that. When you're addicted to that liquid coward, you change. Most people who suffers from alcoholism are hurt and don't really care who they hurt.
aBeautifulMind58
May 4th, 2015 10:24pm
Because the alcohol inhibits the part of their brain that deals with emotion, memory, judgement, etc. Their speech and actions are no longer under their explicit control, and the don't always remember what they've done. When they do remember, they hide from the truth with more alcohol, and the cycle continues. So everyone around them keeps getting hurt, but they keep drinking and doing what they do. From personal experience, my father's choice name for me when he drinks is "worthless piece of $h!t". And he never "remembers".
Jaelin
January 26th, 2015 1:33am
I think people addicted to alcohol (Or anything really) Can only see til their next drink, fix, high- Whatever you want to call it. How are they going to get it and to hell with anyone who gets in their way. They are in such a haze when they are drunk and even in a haze when sober because of the different reactions that addiction causes your brain to produce.
menjy
April 1st, 2015 12:41am
People are addicted to alcohol only when they are going through a very tough time or are out of their mind.In that particular phase they are not aware of the consequences around them.Aggression is one of the symptoms.This actually suffocated them and they use their rage on other people and things.
Anonymous
August 4th, 2015 10:51pm
From my personal experience, people who depend on alcohol care only about themselves and their alcohol while they are in that state. The alcohol numbs them, which basically means that they wont do or care about much of anything.
Anonymous
May 21st, 2019 5:35am
For the alcoholic, alcoholism is a disease that takes over their minds and hearts and priorities. In the midst of alcoholism, the alcoholic and their family may feel as if their life is out of control, in a whirlwind of predictable painful cycles. There is no logic involved, no time to think of anything else. It is not about love, it is not personal, however at the same time you need what is best for you, a supportive and safe environment where you can relax without worrying what your loved ones are up to. If you need support, Al-Anon offers anonymous local group support to families and friends of alcoholics. They even have an anonymous group phone line. Hearing the stories of others in similar situations and sharing our own stories can give us strength and hope for ourselves. Good luck!
RachxTheLight
June 22nd, 2015 1:44am
Alcoholics tend to not be in reality if they have been drinking excessive amounts. They lose the ability to understand certain situations because alcohol alters their brain and how it functions over time.
Anonymous
December 8th, 2015 8:32am
The reason is because the brain is affected which does not signal them that the act that they are doing is hurting the other.
Surruh
August 21st, 2018 8:21pm
Alcohol has become a way to numb the pain so they don’t have to acknowledge the true origin of their demons. If you mask the hurt, you never have to face it. To distract from the source is a perfect escape from the reality of your own past, or current situation. Once the alcohol is gone, many people will have to face their fear and own up to their life and everything in it that has caused them to want to escape. That is difficult and sometimes it takes a team of people to help somebody be able to do that.
lovingWords79
December 5th, 2017 11:39am
people who drink alcohol dont mean to hurt you they dont always know what they say or do and after may regret what they said to the person
Stainedglass
June 3rd, 2015 3:26pm
they're in denial when sober, or even in more denial when drunk. its hard to control yourself when dealing with substance abuse, and the best way to deal with it is to try to band people together for intervention
jakfullofwandering
June 10th, 2015 4:16pm
Addiction changes the brain, it becomes a mental illness. And just like any other mental illness it can cloud the mind sometimes.
GoldenRuleJG
August 5th, 2023 10:33pm
I can only imagine being the individual personally going through the experience of addiction and being someone who is the loved one of someone who has an addiction is very painful on both sides. To the person with the addiction, they can feel like their loved one is exerting so much control over them, making them feel guilty and trying to restrict their need for escapism to fill up a void. To the loved one they can feel unsafe, like the person with the addiction is selfish and only cares about themselves. Please know that no matter what someone is going through you have the right to take care of your mental health. For both parties what can be explored are your triggers, trauma, and values to what is a healthy relationship dynamic for each of you. Common therapies used for addictions can be individual and group CBT and even couples therapy. You are welcome to also communicate one on one with one of our listeners on our site. Inner peace is required for both parties and I thank you for being open about this here.
Smrtbibliophile
April 22nd, 2023 10:46pm
I am an alcoholic who is in recovery. For me, I realized I hurt people most of the time. Sometimes I did black out and didn't remember but often I would wake up the next morning and realize what I said or did and feel ashamed or embarrassed which in all honesty caused me to want to drink again to forget - which I know is counter productive but seems to be a behavior a lot of addicts fall into. I am not in a recovery program but a lot of them focus on making amends and apologizing for their actions. I have done this, especially with my kids because my Mom was an alcoholic and I never wanted to do that to my own children. I had avoided drinking for most of my life and it's a slippery slope. I didn't intend to become an alcoholic and didn't realize I was one until I became one, if that makes sense (and even then it took me some time to realize I had a problem). If the person who you are referring to is still drinking they may be falling into a similar pattern as I described above or just in denial, You can try to talk to them about how you feel but having dealt with a lot of alcoholics and addicts, and being an alcoholic, I've learned people have to decide to quit on their own, largely. Though interventions do sometimes help them reach that point.