A family member thinks I am lying about where I am going but I'm not, what should I do?
Last Updated: 12/25/2020 at 2:00pm
Collin McShirley, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
I love helping people overcome challenges with food, depression, and anxiety. My work with clients is nonjudgement, supportive, and kind.
Top Rated Answers
I'm sorry that you are in this situation. Family members can be tough. I would attempt to talk to the family member again and see what their concerns are and why they are having a tough time believing the truth. I would then address those underlying issues and then maybe they'll come around.
Tell them the exact details and show them proof that you are not lying and you are being honest to them
Explain to that person that you're indeed going out and if you're comfortable with it ,try taking that person along with you ,
Try assure them that you are going where you are saying. Get a friend that they know is honest to tell them.
Maybe you could ask them why they distrust you so much, does it stem from something that happened in the past? Try to reassure them that you have no reason to lie about your whereabouts!
Have them drive you there snd pick you up after event. Then talk about trust when you get home so next time perhaps they will listen to you
Just keep letting them know you're not going to do anything bad and to give you trust at least don't question you before they actually know the results at the end of the day because they could be actually good results instead of bad give you some credit
Stay Silent. Let them rant off and take yourself out of the situation. That way they cannot emotionally damage you.
I personally feel that the best thing you can do is sit down with them a ask them calmly what it is that makes them think you are lying. It is important that they feel listened to in their concerns, but you must stand your ground and be very clear about how it makes you feel as well. Communication is key. Good luck!
When someone accuses me of lying, and I know I'm telling the truth, I don't get angry. I remain calm, I sit with the person, and I talk it out with them. I ask them why they feel that way, then I calmly explain the situation. Then I tell them how important it is to me that they trust me, and I hope they do because they mean so much to me. Then I leave the conversation so they can process it.
Perhaps the first and most important step is to explain your side. Let them know (in as much detail as possible) about what happened the last time you went, where you went, who you were with, etc . If they persist in believing that you are not telling the truth, provide evidence of where you are and with whom you may be meeting through pictures of the location and other such details. If you seem willing to update your family member about where you are going, it is possible they may realize that you are telling the truth.
If it really worries you that bad, you can always send them photos of the place you're at when you're there to prove to them you're being honest and they have absolutely nothing to worry about.
Take a friend, pictures, a recording device. Maybe even take that family member. Find someone who can vouch for you.
Confront them and speak to them honestly about it. Ask them why they think you're lying. It might clear up some miscommunication
Talk with them and tell them the situation and what you think about this and maybe that could help.
Just share your experience about your outing with the family member who's doubting you! That makes him/her trust you and they'll encourage your trueness to let them know what you are doing
A lot of the time my parents were skeptical about where I was going or who I was hanging out with. I let them meet my friends and drop me off at places, that way they knew where I was and who I was with. I would also share my location with them on my phone. Because I have my phone on me all the time, there's no questions about where I'm at because they can track me (I know it sounds creepy but GPS doesn't lie!!).
You should take them with you sometime and then they should believe you. If not then ask them why they don't believe you and where they think you are going.
Look them in the eyes and tell them the truth. Or ask them to ask one of your friends to confirm that you are going there or doing what you said.
Communicating with them is very crucial. It would be helpful to ask their permission when going out. Moreover, updating them about what happened or recounting details to them will help.
Show them the proof of where you are going, only to reassure them, then ask them to please trust them in future, As you are responsible and proving responsibility to your parents and ALWAYS being honest with them. They may sometimes not agree with something but at least they know you are reliable in telling them the truth.
Try to talk it out with them calmly. Explain that you really are being honest and that them not believing you is hurtful. However, you can't make them believe you, and so the only thing you can truly do then is live with the fact that you know the truth
I think that sometimes it's normal to feel suspicious, even though it's not an okay thing to do. The smartest thing you can do is to prove to them that you aren't, for example, if you've gone to the mall with friends, you can send them pictures of exactly that with the location attached to it.
While telling you what to do can be harmful and may not always work in this situation, I can suggest putting one of those location trackers on your phone and showing your family member where you're going if you're comfortable (like with iPhones you can send your global position to prove where you are based on your phone's internal GPS).
If it is someone that does not have influence on your curfews or other things that could negatively afffect you, just ignore them. If it is someone like your parent, maybe send them pictures when you arrive.
You don't have to prove anything, you are innocent. If they want to think you are lying, leave them at it, its no skin off your back. Be proud of yourself, you are honest and true, the rest of the world can think what they want. This is also the best way to prove yourself too, if you try to argue and convince this person that you are not lying, it will seem like you are hiding something, but if you just carry on as usual not worrying if they think you are lying, you will appear far more truthful and they are more likely to believe you!
It sounds like their behavior is a bit controlling, but if you are okay with it, maybe find a way to verify your location when you go out so they will see you are telling the truth. If they continue to ask you after you do that a few times, then that is their problem completely at that point.
Discuss with them why they feel that way towards you and that it makes you feel upset. Try to come up with a solution together to overcome this issue.
The best way to let them know you're telling the truth is to provide proof; take pictures of yourself at this place, or get someone to go along with you so they can vouch for you.
Talk to them and ask them why do they think you are lying? Can they explain to you more about it? Please try not to let this make you feel bad, the most important thing is that you know you are telling them truth, if they do not believe you, it is on them.
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