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A family member thinks I am lying about where I am going but I'm not, what should I do?

227 Answers
Last Updated: 11/28/2020 at 1:17am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Collin McShirley, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I love helping people overcome challenges with food, depression, and anxiety. My work with clients is nonjudgement, supportive, and kind.

Top Rated Answers
eliijaxes
February 14th, 2018 7:12pm
Give them evidence once you get there, like maybe a picture, it depends on where you're going. Update them every once in a while while you are there, make it clear you are where you say you are. They might do this more than one time so make a habit of updating them on where you are, like if you just got there, let them know.
Reira2224
February 16th, 2018 7:28am
Tell them that you'll send them pictures of that place or they can spy on you with your siblings or something because it would seem weird to your friends if your brother's gonna stick with you the whole time or you can simply tell them to ask to your bestfriend that if she's with you or not.
PipeOrgan
February 17th, 2018 3:50am
Have you considered taking this family member with you sometime to show him/her where you are going? Perhaps someone there would speak up and assure your family member that you are speaking truthfully.
cheerfulSpace15
February 17th, 2018 10:06pm
Tell them that you're not lying. Ask them why they think that you are lying to them. That may clear up so confusion and you may get them to trust you some more.
Anonymous
February 21st, 2018 4:03am
Show them proof and evidence about the place you're going. Tell them specific facts and details to show them that you know your stuff :)
WrittenLife
February 23rd, 2018 7:47am
Be completely honest and just state where you're going confidently. Being strong and confident is the key to success in these things.
sereneStar83
February 23rd, 2018 5:25pm
Be as transparent as you can and communicate clearly with them. Let them in to your world more, and you'll find they'll be more calm.
Anonymous
March 3rd, 2018 6:32pm
If you have google maps or find friends on your phone then you can share your location with them so that they know where you are and that you aren't lying.
storytimeletsrelate
March 17th, 2018 11:00pm
Confirm where you are going by having an adult give feed back to your parents, this and getting dropped of by your parents should get them to believe you.
Rudeblud
March 28th, 2018 9:34pm
Maybe suggest that a family member should come with you to prove that you are going where you say your going. After that they may trust you more. You could also take time to build up your trust between that family member and yourself.
HoneyBri
April 15th, 2018 5:53pm
Gaining trust from a family member is difficult once broken. First, I’d say it’s none of their business where you go to begin with. However, that’s not the right response. Personally, I’ve had to deal with a close one’s trust as well and the best thing I can suggest is to show proof and give plenty of reassurance. Tell them the time frames if possible and be punctual as it’ll help them see you’re doing everything you can to prove yourself. When they get on you about “not being where you should be”, don’t freak out and get angry on them about it. Calmly defend yourself so it doesn’t burn those bridges of them herring you out.
ShannonLstories1
April 21st, 2018 9:35pm
Find out why they don't trust you and if needed let them take you to where you are going to prove to them you were telling the truth
Anonymous
April 25th, 2018 4:45pm
Let you be urself don't try to justify that u are right because when u does right things u have no need to justify let him know by himself from experience
Anonymous
April 25th, 2018 10:17pm
Explain to them how you are not lying and how you have gave them no reason to lie about this. Then say they need to trust and have more faith in you about you're whereabouts as you have no reason or need to lie to them
sillyseraph002
April 26th, 2018 2:19pm
first and foremost proceed with caution, and keep the importance of your safety at the forefront of the situation: make sure that at least one person who does believe you knows where you are going and what you are doing. secondly, if that person thinks you are lying there may not be much you can do to change that. if that person thinks that, then their trust has probably been betrayed enough in the past, that they have become cynical and disbelieving. you could try to show them through your actions that you are trustworthy, but I can't promise you that will work. not everyone can be convinced.
GratefulDreams
May 1st, 2018 7:30pm
If you aren't lying, I wouldn't worry too much. It's up to them to believe you or not. You could always send your location from your phone, or take a picture of something that would prove you are not lying.
Anonymous
May 2nd, 2018 6:41am
I would sit down and respectfully ask them why they are questioning me, and try to understand their point of view.
BrandonCares1074
May 6th, 2018 6:34pm
You could message them proof the next few times you go somewhere and you will gain their trust after a few times.
Karmage
May 10th, 2018 2:26pm
I've also dealt with this issue, stand your ground, you are your own individual; you know what's true from what is false, if needed, provide evidence. Some people, even someone within your bloodline, has a hard time trusting people.
keepgoing12
May 18th, 2018 3:55am
Try to give them evidence of where you are going, or offer to let them come with you if applicable, and try to let them find trust in your words before going out on your own
Anonymous
May 19th, 2018 11:20am
You should slowly work towards earning their trust. Check in on them to make sure they are ok and send them messages/ call them, informing them of what you are doing
Melissame
May 23rd, 2018 6:23pm
Calmly talk to the family member, tell them you've given no reason for them to not trust you. Ask them what their worries are, why, and offer solutions. They are probably just worried for you so try to remember that. You could give proof by taking a photo when you're there, having an alibi or even getting that family member to drop you off.
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2018 7:09pm
You should ensure them that you are not lying where you are going, that’s there’s no reason you would lie. Maybe by sending pics of where you are will let them trust you.
sunnyEmbrace
May 25th, 2018 12:55am
The best course of action if somebody disbelieves something you can prove, such as your location, is to show them you are trustworthy and telling the Truth. Rather than getting frustrated with them disbelieving you, tell them you'll call them when you get there, send them pictures to show where you are. After a few times, you should build enough trust for your family member to believe you without convincing.
Anonymous
May 26th, 2018 12:38pm
Show them your Google maps location and take pictures? Siblings tend to tease each other so it could be you are being taunted, in which case try to ignore it. Hope you resolve it!
starryPeace49
May 31st, 2018 6:27pm
This has happened to me before with my mom. I found it easiest to let her track my phone so she would always know where i was. This is also helpful in case I was in an accident and was not able to call out for help she would know where i was.
QuirkyGirlSparks
June 1st, 2018 2:01pm
Assertively tell your family member that you are going out and you will see them when you come back home.
MidnightSea97
June 9th, 2018 7:25pm
tell them in all honesty about where you're going. remind them that they know your character and the type of person you are including what you are capable of
calmingNight81
June 15th, 2018 11:29pm
Talk to them. Try to understand why they think you're lying and try to understand their reasoning for that conclusion. Once you have those two things, try to resolve whatever misconceptions they have.
FireIntensity
June 27th, 2018 10:20am
If anyone thinks you are lying, then there are trust issues involved in the relationship and lack of communication. Communicate with the family member and discuss why there are trust issues involved.