A family member thinks I am lying about where I am going but I'm not, what should I do?
252 Answers
Last Updated: 05/29/2022 at 6:19pm
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Sarah Robb, LISW-S (Licensed Independent Social Worker, Supervisor Designation) and LICDC (Licenced Chemical Dependency Counselor)
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations. Life poses many challenges. Learning to face, cope with, and resolve these challenges can increase our resilience.
Top Rated Answers
Talk to them. Try to understand why they think you're lying and try to understand their reasoning for that conclusion. Once you have those two things, try to resolve whatever misconceptions they have.
If anyone thinks you are lying, then there are trust issues involved in the relationship and lack of communication. Communicate with the family member and discuss why there are trust issues involved.
Anonymous
June 27th, 2018 10:42am
show them where you are goning if you going witha friend or somoene get them to tell your family and give proof where ever you can
Tell them to trust you and reassure them you're not lying. If they continue thinking you're not being honest, show them proof. Maybe even ask why they don't believe you; sometimes that will make them realize they're being unfair if they're assuming the worst when they shouldn'tbe.
Prove to them that you are not and gain there trust so they can trust you when you are going somewhere
Anonymous
July 6th, 2018 4:18am
Show him/her that you are a reliable person. Maybe trying to impress the family member by doing the dishes or something like that. It is probable that he/she thinks that you are not responsible and doesnt trust you.
Anonymous
July 6th, 2018 5:03pm
Are they a close family member? Do they live with you? Support you? Take care of you? I don’t know your age but if you are a minor and this person does none of these things for you and you live with your guardian, the only person who should be questioning you is that guardian. If you are an adult and this person still does nothing for you, then they should mind their business. However, if you want to peacefully put this to rest, ask them to come along or text them a selfie at the place you are at and show them.
Have you considered just taking them with you one time? If you show them where you are going, perhaps they will stop accusing you of lying.
Anonymous
July 6th, 2018 10:51pm
Perhaps you could try by saying you are going to do something, (assisting them in some way) keep your word and show them you meant what you said, therefore when it comes to trusting your whereabouts they will be more at ease.
Before you go to where you are going, tell them you are leaving. When you get to your destination, text them and send them a picture of you being there! When you leave, text them that you are heading home. When you arrive, tell you you’re back!
Try reassuring them and ask them why they're concerned. If you ask them they might have some assumption that you can clear up with them.
Anonymous
July 13th, 2018 8:19pm
You are probably dealing with trust issues. Try to talk about it with your relative and find the source of the problem.
Anonymous
July 22nd, 2018 10:28pm
My mum used to think I was lying about where I was going all the time and sometimes she still does, I guess its a mum thing! To prove to her that I wasn't, when she suspected it of me the most I would ring her when I was gone or text her pictures of me at the place, like a casual selfie here or there. It definitely put her in her place and gave her more trust in me
Anonymous
July 25th, 2018 11:46am
Send him a Picture of the place, if he see you there he cant say anything against it. Tell him that you arent a liar
Anonymous
July 25th, 2018 7:28pm
Just let them know where your going, make sure that they know exactly where you are like keep them updated to where you are all the time.
If you are not lying than I would not worry about it too much. The truth will reveal itself at some point and even if it doesn't, you know the truth so who care what they believe.
Perhaps you could turn your location or something on to where they can see where you're going, or maybe you can just take pictures to prove to them that you are actually going where you say you are going.
Maybe you can prove it by taking pictures and send them directly ? Or try to ask someone with you for confirm the things ?
Explain to your family member that you are an honest person and you have no reason to lie. If you have a history of lying maybe you should find a way to prove to them that you are in fact telling the truth.
Anonymous
August 12th, 2018 11:26am
Let the person think what they want .
That’s stress on them not you .
Just remain honest and true to yourself ✨✨
Anonymous
August 12th, 2018 10:11pm
Speak to them honestly and tell them that them not trusting you hurts your feelings, be honest with them
Find a way to prove to them that you are not lying. It hurts when people don't trust you but don't get angry or defensive when they bring the subject up as that won't help gain their trust. Try to keep a cool head when talking about it and be rational. Tell them in detail what you are doing to make it sound as viable as possible. Could you ask them to take part in some way eg drop you off/ pick you up? Or even agree to text or ring them while you are out. Hope this helps.
Anonymous
September 5th, 2018 3:34pm
You should continue to tell them the truth. you could record where you are going to show them later to prove this it is what you are doing, there are also gps tracking apps if they still don't believe you, there are a lot of things to do. As of right now you should sit down with your family member and talk to them about why they think you are lying and you should ask them where it is they think you are going. If they don't believe you even after all that you could change your habit of when you go. you could instead of leaving at night leave in the day.
Anonymous
November 4th, 2018 3:13pm
It sounds like they don't trust you. That must be very frustrating for you to feel like your family doesn't believe what you say. One way to resolve this would be to sit down with your family and initiate a conversation about this. Come from a place love, and be willing to listen to all the reasons why they don't trust you. After you have listened to their reasons, ask them for feedback on how you can build their trust in you again. You will have the opportunity to explain yourself, if you feel they have misunderstood your actions in the past. And you can learn how you deepen your connection and trust with them. They key is to have the conversation from a place of love and openness, and avoid defensiveness.
Find a good time and space to talk to them and explain properly where you are going and why you have decided to go there. Ask them about why they think you are lying, and try to understand where they are coming from. You can also give a reasoned response back to explain the answer to their queories.
When you are talking to this family member, try to avoid arguing / shouting / escalating the situation. Instead, talk to them politely and respectfully. Try to understand the situation from their point of view and reassure any concerns that they may have.
When a family member doesn't believe something you have told them the first step is to have a conversation about it with them. Ask the family member what you can do to prove where you are going. Find out by asking the family member why they do not trust what you say and how best you can work together to trust each other. Approach your family member with a motivation to understand why they don't believe you instead of approaching them with anger or pain at not being believed. The end result is to be able to be taken at your word.
Anonymous
February 7th, 2019 11:16pm
Why do they think you are lying? Have you confronted them about how you feel about this in a calm and respectful manner? In a way that they might understand.
Does it bother you that they think you are lying?
In order to gain clarity one must understand how one feels.
Focusing on the issue, gaining clarity, respect, mutual understanding, is the key to most of the issues one might have.
To listen is to understand.
Have you put yourself in their shoes? Same goes to them.
I recommend talking to one of the listeners here at 7 cups if it doesn’t get solved.
Tell them the truth about where you are going and why and if they still don’t believe you then ask a friend or someone you were with to tell them as well that you were there with them. If that doesn’t work and you have an iPhone you’re family member can track where you are on your phone and that will show them that you were not lying and that they owe you an apology. If they still don’t try telling them in a kind manner that you where actually not there. If they don’t believe you take a picture of the place you are and show your family member that you where there.
Anonymous
March 29th, 2019 1:20am
Try your best to remain calm with them and express that you are being honest and have no reason or motive to deceive them. Ask why they feel this way and see if, together, you can work through the issue and absence of trust. Remember to try to stay calm and be patient and empathetic towards them, because it sounds like an underlying trust issue or a simple worry. And with that, they themselves might not be aware that that is even the underlying issue and will need the empathy to work through it, as well as the current situation between both of you.
I've had a family member do the same to me. I obviously don't know your specific situation, but sometimes trying to think from the other person's perspective helps you to start a conversation with them. For example, my mom used to think I was lying even when I wasn't, and it was difficult to communicate with her because of that. It took a while but I later came to realize (through trying to see stuff through her eyes) that it wasn't that I was doing anything wrong, it was that she was very anxious at the time and it made her question me a lot more.
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