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Am I a poser?

22 Answers
Last Updated: 11/20/2017 at 4:33pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst

Licensed Psychoanalyst

I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.

Top Rated Answers
November 26th, 2014 10:58pm
Does it matter if you are? What matters most is how you feel about yourself. We all project an image of ourselves to other people. The question is: do you feel like you have to pretend to be someone you're not in order to win the affection or respect of others? If you do, then people are not really respecting you, just the person you are pretending to be. It may be easier and better to be yourself. People who hide and pretend strongly fear rejection, but rejection is a normal part of life. It won't kill you, trust me. Know yourself, love yourself, be yourself--and you will be happy and secure.
October 27th, 2015 7:02pm
No, You are not. Never think it and never let anyone tell you that. We all do what we want to do. We are in this world for ourselves, not for anyone. Then why do you care what someone thinks of you. What people think of you is none of your business. Stick to being you, because you have chosen to be this way. Be yourself! Be Happy!
November 26th, 2014 2:41am
The official definition of a poser is "a person who acts in an affected manner in order to impress others." In other words, one who acts like something they are not. In order to be a poser you have to lie to yourself to make others happy. synonym for poser is "show-off".
December 28th, 2015 5:31am
Based on a theory of symbolic interactionism in sociology, we are all posers, and so, no one is!!!!!
December 20th, 2014 4:42pm
Do not worry about how other people see you. Worry about what you feel and picture yourself as. You are in control of your own life, you can be anything you want to be.
December 27th, 2014 9:56pm
Everyone is a poser in some way or form, it's how we function as humans. We have a need to adapt to our surrounding environment and this is usually the way in which we do it.
December 3rd, 2014 11:59pm
Why would you say that you are? The question suggests insecurity, which is something that most of us have to face. And sometimes that requires living by the idea of "fake it 'till you make it."
January 6th, 2015 3:37am
Let me answer this question with a favorite quote of mine “If you spent your life concentrating on what everyone else thought of you, would you forget who you really were? What if the face you showed the world turned out to be a mask... with nothing beneath it?” Are you projecting to the outside world the same image you have on the inside?
April 8th, 2015 11:00pm
I feel like that is something you need to evaluate yourself. Like all those corny quotes we have heard all of our life, why be anyone else, but you?
November 20th, 2017 4:33pm
What is a poser? Someone who assumes a particular attitude or stance, especially with the hope of impressing others. Everyone does that! Whether it is to impress your teachers, your boss or even your crush. Think of yourself as an evolving human being who changes themself to provide themself the best chance to survive- or in this case, to be liked and accepted! Hope I helped.
November 29th, 2014 6:15am
Being a poser depends on your own perception of your own Self. To have an outsider assign the label "poser" is irrelevant unless you, yourself, think of yourself as a poser. Descartes said, "I think therefore I am." Do you think you are a poser? If so, then yes. If not, then no.
December 17th, 2014 7:29pm
It's the majority that decides what's "in" and what's "out". A lot of people try different social groups to figure out who they are. Sometimes you have to play some hopscotch to see what fits you and you alone. The moment someone states that you are too low for their standards is when you have to believe that you are worth more than that. I firmly believe in the walk of the individual over the masses. True, every individual should have a circle of friends, but that circle is also for your individual needs. The process of seeking "you" is a tough one. Sometimes you have to take a little from a lot of groups to find something that resonates in your heart. So long as you seek yourself instead of the praise of others, then you are never a poser.
November 26th, 2014 4:35am
Everyone has their own interests, hobbies, struggles, and strengths. What would you be posing as? You are who you are. :)
July 14th, 2015 4:40pm
Are you? It's really your decision. Look at how you act. Do you act that way just to impress other people, while on the inside, you aren't happy? If yes, then you are probably a poser. Try to do what you want to do, as long as it doesn't involve hurting others.
September 15th, 2015 2:20pm
In high school, the last thing myself or anyone else wanted to be called was a poser. I struggled with this same question. What it meant for me wa, Am I acting in a way that is inauthentic? Am I putting on heirs? Am I trying too hard to be cool? The answer I came to is this; I can only be me. Anything and everything I or anyone else ever does will always be infused with who we are at our core. For that is the lens and perspective all is filtered through. I had to realize this and own it, and in doing so, it gave me great freedoms and permission to actually be more authentically me. Who we are, our personality, our psyche, is far greater than any trend or band, fad or craze. I will always be me, no matter what I "try on."
September 28th, 2015 11:27am
Not if you truly believe in and enjoy doing the things you're doing! You're the only one who can judge yourself like that.
November 16th, 2015 10:53am
No I try to be as real and as giving as I can. As the quote says, "you were born an original, don't die a copy."
November 17th, 2015 8:23am
i am a poser i try to b what i think others want me to b i am so filled with anzietys and fears that i feel i cant b me
December 8th, 2015 3:05pm
No of course not. Though it would help to have more information.
January 4th, 2016 5:53pm
I think that everyone is a poser to some extent. Acting in a way to get attention is something that everyone does to some degree. If you feel that you aren't acting the way your true self would, then try and let that little you out a little.
January 16th, 2017 1:52am
If you feel like you are faking it, you might be. It really depends whether the image that you are putting out there is one that feels good to you, or one that makes you feel awful. If the self-image you are projecting is one that feels good to you but you think is fake, keep going. It may be your own self-doubt that is stopping you from believing you are that cool. If, however, you are projecting a self-image that doesn't feel good and you are doing it for the sake of the acceptance of others, you might be posing.
February 14th, 2017 7:24pm
If you feel drawn away from the version of you that you are most comfortable with, you may feel you are a 'poser', what you should consider is your motivation - maybe you pose because you aren't ready to expose yourself e.g if you hear peers opposing your views. Or perhaps you are trying to keep people happy, e.g not using your intelligence as you don't want to correct someone in their moment of happiness and contemplation. Ultimately, you should feel comfortable in how you present yourself and with practise, understand when its ok to hold back or adjust for others, without feeling like you are selling yourself out just to conform or be likeable.