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Everything in my life is messed up. Motivation works temporarily and I'm not suicidal but feel it's pointless to live like this. What should I do to feel hopeful?

243 Answers
Last Updated: 04/20/2022 at 4:35pm
Everything in my life is messed up. Motivation works temporarily and I'm not suicidal but feel it's pointless to live like this. What should I do to feel hopeful?
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Jennifer Patterson, LMFT, ATR-BC

Art Therapist

Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.

Top Rated Answers
September 19th, 2019 7:54pm
My suggestion would be doing something that made you feel more hopeful. Giving back in the community in some way would be very beneficial for you in my opinion. You can find a cause that you enjoy, and go from there. It's a small step, but I think building from that will go a long way. Helping others (or animals) may help build your motivation greatly. It also helps build confidence. You shouldn't feel like you are pointless, or that your life is. You are worth it, and you are here for a reason. Never give up on yourself!
September 23rd, 2019 11:41pm
I've been there too, and it is terrible. I knew that things always cycle from good to bad to good and etc. but waiting for things slowly to work out or figure it out was torture. Take baby steps and make small changes that make you feel better, even if it's temporary. I made it an exercise for myself that every terrible situation I was in, I had to think of at least 1 positive thing about it. and have "human" interactions. It helps more than you think. and finally, watch something that makes you laugh! (Ellen, Late night shows)
September 27th, 2019 2:01pm
I can’t give advice, but I can give personal actions I take. Honestly, when I feel that way, I usually try to watch certain people on youtube. One youtuber I would suggest is Jacksepticeye. He’s an Irish youtuber, and as long as you don’t mind cursing, even through a screen, he can make it clear that he loves and cares about you. He saved my life when I was 13 and suicidal because when I watched him, I could tell he cared. As far as specific videos go, I would suggest one of his older episode groups called reading your comments. In a lot of them, he makes it clear that despite not knowing us personally, he cares about us. As for others, one of my close friends had a similar experience with the YouTuber Markiplier.
October 16th, 2019 11:56pm
Talk and be heard. Think positive. Tell somebody! I’m always here to listen. Focus on the future. Think about what makes you smile. Think about who you are and what you want in life! Keep going! Think about why your here. Look around you and appreciate what you have and love. Don’t let anybody out you down it’s hard. But it’s managable. Keep your head held high make yourself yourself. Make sure to talk more about how your feeling thinking anything. That’s why 7 cups is here! Keep going we’re always here for you. Think about what you have. I’m proud of you.
October 17th, 2019 12:11am
Right now things might feel overwhelming, sometimes it seems like there’s no way out and you’re trapped in the situation. Take a moment to think about how you feel, identify the feeling. Accept its presence and then let it go. See if this helps you. It works for me when motivation doesn’t, sometimes being in the moment, allowing my last to be accepting of the associated feelings and then letting them pass gets me out of that feeling it pointlessness. How you’re feeling is completely valid, life isn’t easy and nor is it fair. What we is happening for you right now will pass just as all things do. You’re heard, you’re supported and you are not alone remember that. There’s always help if you ask for it. I hope this helps and things improve for you
November 8th, 2019 4:20pm
I felt like that for a long time and I've seen many people in a similar situation. The most common reason motivation doesn't work is that it's not aligned to our purpose. It was certainly the case for me, when I pursued a career that made me feel like I'm wasting my time in a job that makes fair money, but is giving me nothing more, leaving me feeling like I'm wasting my life on Earth. I had a vague idea what my purpose is, but I haven't seen it as a sane career choice. When I connected to this purpose and found the courage to follow that purpose, my life got much better, I became more grounded, more sure of my worth, feeling in peace with myself and the universe. We're so drawn to the reality of paying bills and having our image in the society that we often forget who we really are. Breaking out from that is not easy. I had to stop lying to myself and had to be able to make the leap of faith, trusting that things will work out. I had to look where I was afraid to look. In an essence, I had to die as the old person and reborn as a new one. The most important thing I've learnt? Follow your soul, it already knows where it wants to go. In the end, it's pretty simple – just not easy.
December 3rd, 2019 8:25am
Practice self-love and spend more time on doing your favorite hobbies and talk to your close people. Surround yourself with positive. Show some love and kindness to people around you, set boundaries and goals. Spend most of your time on achieving them, decluttering people who are not interested in your mental well being can help you. Practice the pause and Art! Start a journal or a diary so that you can look back and realize how you're growing and which way. Surround yourself with people who can make you feel better whenever you feel low. Take good care and enough rest.
December 6th, 2019 4:30am
It sounds like you're stuck in tunnel vision. This is common when we feel anxious or depressed. The great news is that working on your perspective can help ease some of those feelings! And it's pretty simple. You could start by making a list of 3 things that are going at least "okay" in your life. It doesn't matter how small or big they are, they could something like "managed to eat breakfast today" or "paid my rent on time", whatever is true for you. Once you've made that, try and think about 1 more. Then 1 more. Hopefully, this will help you find some things that are going okay for you, even in a time when that feels impossible. If you don't want to do that you can always try just talking to me about these things in your life that are causing you a lot of grief and maybe that will relieve some of that burden!
December 26th, 2019 5:26am
I can totally understand sometimes feel like there is nothing that I can do in my life but see this you own life n the world is beautiful there are a lot of things that you can do you just have to explore so many things and you'll definitely find something that you would love to do it'll not only make you happy but you'll also feel proud while doing that. Just believe in yourself. Motivation works temporary but when you're self motivated no one can stop you. So only remember one thing that you have to do something for yourself so that you don't have any regret.
February 12th, 2020 4:32am
Go out to find some points. I mean go and find meaning. Start by paying attention to small things. Find beauty around you. There are great things outside of you. Find the sense of awe. When you realize how wonderful it is to experience beauty and wonder, you may be able to feel grateful about your existence. Often time we feel hopeless because we are blind to so many great things. We are trapped in our own heads. So get out of your head. Maybe you can start thinking about doing small things to make life more meaningful. You live on.
February 14th, 2020 3:42pm
See a Dr and find out how your thyroid functions . How many days do u feel depressed ? Are you taking vitamin D ? Is it lack of sunlight that causes your depression ? Have u had to be on antidepressants? What causes you to be happy and hopeful ? Keep a journal about what you are grateful about , Do you have a hobby ? Do you feel isolated and alone ? Did you have a Trauma you have not dealt with ? What emotions are you repressing ? Find a friend or minister or counselor to talk to important . Get excercise.
March 4th, 2020 3:11am
First of all, think about your family and everyone who really care about you in the world. They love you and want you to be happy. The will be the light of your light. Whenever you feels hopeless, I am sure they will be glad to listen to you. Secondly, the world is so big and it's waited to be explored by yourself. Maybe you can try to go out and experience something different. This world is so beautiful and amazing! Last but not least, doing sports does help a lot. Because after sweating you will forget everything what makes you unhappy. It will makes your day.
March 12th, 2020 2:39pm
Wisdom is not a natural born talent. Wisdom requires a certain level of perceptiveness and experience is necessary. It can be a gift or a curse depending on the circumstances and the individual. For example, a respectful child can know when to speak in specific situations and when to stay quiet whereas a child with little regard for language/behavior could say something that reflects badly on their integrity. A person who grew up being taught financial struggles is more likely to succeed economically in the future because they were taught how to use wisdom in spending things. Some humans with deep emotional scars have wisdom on how to give empathy. On the other hand, they are likely to have triggers due to their past. Even the Bible talks about wisdom stating that, “Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding” (Proverbs 6.7-8 KJV). Thus meaning that experiences can teach and educate a person if they willingly seek to learn. Wisdom is the past dwelling in someone to help change the future.“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere” (James 3.17). hope is knowing how wise you are based on your life experiences. if you falter in situations or circumstances, prove yourself and your thought process wrong. you are your biggest cheerleader and there are always people to help you jump over emotional walls. have hope in knowing that you are worthy and prove yourself that you can face life's challenges. :)
March 15th, 2020 5:16pm
Not everything in your life is messed up. You have some unique qualities, a unique personality, a unique set of traits. It's good that your motivation works - even just a little bit. Positive is key to making yourself hopeful. There is always a point in something, even if you can't see it, somebody else will. And that somebody will be thankful for it because you've just made an impact on somebody's life, no matter how small, no matter how big. To try and make yourself more hopeful, make a list of things you want to do, and do at least one of them per week (give yourself something to look forward to - something to keep going for, a big positive motivation). Throughout the week until that big thing, write a list of 3 small things positive about a day - they can be however small or however big. My last advise to keep hopeful, is to keep smiling. A smile can bring more joy to anybody's face, no matter how they're feeling - and a smile in return might just make you feel a little more hopeful :)
March 20th, 2020 7:33am
It can be helpful to pick small events and meetings in the future that even slightly excite you to focus on and look forward to. Even if something feels mildly interesting, try connect that interest with your life to make life seem a little more worth living. If this seems like too far a step, another thing you can do is to put a little spin on your day to day activities- like maybe choose a new jogging path, or drink coffee instead of tea. Or, you can try something new or out of the ordinary, like a spontaneous ice cream outing or just a day spent with yourself. Whatever happens, just remember that everything that happens is only temporary. Good luck!
March 25th, 2020 7:59am
Sometimes a little temporary motivation can go a long way! I have felt similarly for a very long time, but I found that setting little goals can be very helpful for untangling messy situations and coping with things I couldn't change. Sometimes my goals are simply to wait for new movies to come out, and that gives me something to look forward to when the present is stressful. Then, if I am feeling a little better, I will set a more concrete goal like taking my dog for adventures three times a week. Most importantly, it's always okay to default back to the simplest goals.
March 26th, 2020 8:27pm
For me, the shortest path to hope was to find gratitude for the things already in my life. Even simple things or perhaps especially simple things like being alive, safe and well fed. Access to a computer and a caring community like 7cups. Gratitude is a practice meaning that it is something we have to work on daily. I thought the gratitude journal was a silly idea until I committed to completing on for a week. Then I began to see the benefits in my attitude. Gratitude has a direct and measurable impact on depression and even in the brain. It seems it is just not possible to be hopeless and grateful at the same time. I hope this helps. I wish you peace.
April 8th, 2020 5:42pm
Focus on the good things in your life and don’t forget that there’s not only bad stuff. Take one day at a time and everyday try to better yourself in the way you want to grow. Tell yourself the good things about yourself instead of only the bad things all the time. You will find something that makes everything worth while, it doesn’t have to be a big thing, you can find reasons to hope in the small things of life as well. Everyday will be better than the day before and in time you will feel better and look back on this time and know you learned things about yourself and you grew from them too.
April 9th, 2020 5:15pm
I completely understand that. Even right now I have only temporary motivation. I'm not suicidal but it does feel pointless to live the way that I do. How do feel hopeful when I get like this? I like to sit down and have a chat with myself. Maybe while looking at myself in the mirror. I cry sometimes or ask myself what i'm doing. I laugh at myself like i'm stupid but it's okay. I see what i'm doing everyday for myself and my future and that's what makes me hopeful. It makes me hopeful that what i'm doing now is going to pay off one day.
April 10th, 2020 7:11pm
I can completely empathize with that feeling. It can be quite suffocating. Usually what I have learned from when I feel that way is because I have so many suppressed feelings and thoughts that they are beginning to seep out of my "ice fortress" and draining me. Sometimes all you can do is just talk out your feelings and thoughts to someone, acknowledge the existence of those thoughts and feelings, cry if those tears spill until you feel lighter. Forcing yourself to feel hopeful from a depressive state is unfair on yourself. You can, however, allow yourself to feel lighter by not denying the thoughts and feelings you have. Healing takes time but eventually, you get there. I hope you feel better, love.
April 15th, 2020 5:37pm
I have experienced this and I definitely know how it feels to not have a purpose to live. All I can say is that this is the best time to find something you are passionate about! Discovering new hobbies and talking to people who make you feel better rather than bringing you down will help - this can be anyone from a close family member to someone who you are in the process of becoming friends with. Just focus on the things that make you happy, and you will learn to love to live for them. Take care and stay safe!
April 15th, 2020 7:33pm
Life is all about ups and downs. Happiness only lasts for so long. And if your feeling less motivated or that its pointless living. It's not. I promise it will get better. Instead of waking up or going to sleep with dread just say Today I'm going to be happy. And don't let anyone bring you down. find your fire. I know you can do it. And remember your not alone in this fight. If your ever feeling down or just need someone to talk to feel free to message me. I'm here for you and I love u. I hope this answers your question.
April 18th, 2020 8:40am
I understand that at times we may feel like everything we are working for is pointless. Especially when we don't see the results immediately. In those times, we must stay strong and clearly remember our goals. Sometimes writing them on a piece of paper, and displaying it where we can see it often (eg: above your study desk), can help keep you driven. Start one day at a time. Plan out all your time with a schedule, but don't forget to give yourself some time off, too! Try and stick to the plan as much as you can, but don't get upset in case you are not as productive as you had hoped. Sometimes the results are not obvious and prompt when you are working towards something, but please dont get discouraged. Work hard towards your goals!
April 18th, 2020 3:25pm
When you are motivated, perhaps try and set yourself simple tasks to carry out each day, like a chart maybe with three (or so) achievable goals a day. These could be things like 'Get out of bed' 'Get washed and dressed' 'Prepare and consume a meal' 'Go for a walk'. Use that motivation on those days to ensure you're setting yourself up to stay focused on your tougher days. Perhaps you could reward yourself at the end of the day/week if you do get those things done. This is also a really good way of keeping track of what you have completed too.
April 19th, 2020 11:15am
Try doing something different. Whether that's in your comfort zone or not. Also what helps me is by making goals for myself for the week and by the end of the month and review them step by step. This could be something a long the lines of: eat 3 of my favourite foods a week, or watch a series, or learn a new language. If this is something you didn't enjoy you know not to do that again. With motivation you could start by the most basic things by getting out of bed by a certain time and when you achieve that goal reward yourself. Remember as well your allowed a day off and to have a bad day but its about practice out of a bad habit.
May 14th, 2020 10:37pm
You can try to feel hopeful by reflecting and write some things that might be positives because changing your perspective could change your life. Or find someone to talk to, or even just discover something new or find different outlets for you to have something to hang on, such as music. But do remember one thing. Even though you are in the dark now, one day. It will pass. You will be able to see the light again, and it will all be worth it. So keep holding on, and never give up, no matter how hard it gets.
May 17th, 2020 1:15am
One should enjoy the small victories in life. A victory as small as getting out of bed, or eating. These victories will eventually work as motivation. Without recognizing these accomplishments one will never move on from feeling like they are living a pointless life. When life is messed up and while you may not feel suicidal, a way to live a life with a purpose is by celebrating the small daily victories. By doing this I think that it would help someone to feel hopeful. While anther way to feel hopeful could be by talking to friends and or family.
May 29th, 2020 10:46pm
II tend to feel this most days. At home, work, with friends. I try to do my best by coloring, reading, or watching something funnny. Even talking on the phone to my bestfriend helps. As I grew up and got older, i started to realize i feel suicidal but i dont actually want to die. It took a lot to be where i am. Therapy helps, my good friends etc. Go for a walk with some good music or drive. I find it helps. Makes you feel better with life. Turn your phone off and take some time to your self
May 30th, 2020 9:27am
Here are some Hopeful Tools for you to use: Self-Regulation Techniques We practiced a Deep Breathing Exercise to help calm our mind and body down. Let’s look at some other self-regulation tools we may practice in our daily lives to keep us in a hopeful mindset. Meditation You can meditate in many ways. Meditation has been found to improve memory, increase creativity, reduce anxiety, help us relax, get better sleep, and is good for our emotional well-being. There are many great apps for meditation, and sources on the Hopeful Minds website. We are sharing the basic practice, yet if you search online you will find many options, so feel free to explore and get more advanced. Get as comfortable as possible, in a quiet location (when available). Close your eyes, keep your body still, and focus only on your breathing. As you breathe in and out, through your nose when possible, focus on only how the breath coming and going feels on your skin. Anytime your mind wanders, focus back on the breath and the sensation right below your nose. Practice this meditation for five minutes. If it is helpful when you are beginning, count to five in your head as you inhale and count to five again as you exhale. The goal is to quiet your mind/thoughts, be still, and focus only on each breath. Visualization Close your eyes and focus on an image that makes you feel good. Think about this image for 30 seconds (or for a few minutes, as long as possible) and notice the sensations you feel in your body. Breathe deeply, and continue appreciating and experiencing how this image makes you feel. Then take that new outlook into your day. Journaling There are many forms of journaling, but a very simple one is simply to write down positive things that happened throughout your day. No matter how big or small, find something that makes you smile. If you can’t think of anything, try to remember the last time you felt joy and write about it. Gratitude Another technique you may use to calm down if you’re feeling stressed, angry, scared, or frustrated over days, weeks, or months is to show gratitude. If you pay attention to three things a day toward which you are grateful, you are focusing on what is good in your life. This gratitude helps you stay hopeful even if there are events out of your control that challenge your hope. Get Creative Finally, you can relax your emotions and prepare your brain for hope by doing activities that are creative. Writing, using your imagination to make up skits or stories, painting/coloring, drawing, or designing other art projects (or any other activity where you use your creativity), can help you release tension, anger, stress, and frustration to prepare your mind for hope. Also, always remember that you have a purpose. You may not have found it yet, but you will soon. Everything happens for a reason.
June 5th, 2020 4:11pm
I am so sorry you’re feeling messed up. This is a particularly hard time given the virus. Are there any activities you enjoy participating in? Also I think it is truly helpful to reach out to our loved ones and friends right now. If you need to feel purposeful, so as to realize it is not pointless. You might try going on line and find ways to volunteer online. It can give us a boost to know we are helping others. This may sound simplistic, but exercise can also get our endorphins moving which can help elevate our mood. Does any of these suggestions help. Also we all need to remind ourselves sometimes that this quarantining will come to an end.