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Everything in my life is messed up. Motivation works temporarily and I'm not suicidal but feel it's pointless to live like this. What should I do to feel hopeful?

243 Answers
Last Updated: 04/20/2022 at 4:35pm
Everything in my life is messed up. Motivation works temporarily and I'm not suicidal but feel it's pointless to live like this. What should I do to feel hopeful?
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Jennifer Patterson, LMFT, ATR-BC

Art Therapist

Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.

Top Rated Answers
June 5th, 2020 8:56pm
Look at all the things you have done right in your life. There is always more great things to life and reasons to live than we may realize, even when everything seems to be going wrong or seems to be falling apart. It is very important to heal, so take some time to yourself and try to see the beauty within you. If you have a religion, maybe try looking for ways to become even more connected with your faith and embrace the feelings that come with it. Do things you love to do more often, and you might start to feel a sense of hope and appreciation come into you. When life kicks you down, don't forget to get up again. My one teacher always used to say, "Down is easier than up, but once you are up you get the will power to keep moving forward again." Every life is worth living to it's full potential. May you blossom.
June 10th, 2020 11:53pm
Try to do something that used to bring you joy every day. Whether it is colouring or going for a walk. Taking the stress off yourself even for 20 minutes could help, listening to music is something that really helps me, it allows me to disconnect from daily stresses and focus on something else. Taking the pressure off of yourself and listening to your body will hopefully allow you not to burn out and maintain motivation for a bit longer. The pandemic is making motivation hard for everyone, so if you can't manage to be productive be kind to yourself, listen to your body and be kind to yourself.
June 20th, 2020 4:01pm
Try to think of things you are grateful for. This happens to me often - I get motivated for a week and then don't do anything for the next week. When I write down something I am grateful for once a day or once every other day, I remember that I already have a lot of great things in my life, and that I've grown a lot and come a long way. Usually at the top of my gratitude lists are the people in my life that I care about. After that, it is the things I've already accomplished. It's important to be proud of steps you've taken or goals you've achieved!
June 24th, 2020 10:17am
It must be very difficult, trust me I understand. Motivation is temporary, until it becomes self discipline rather than just 'motivation'. the key, that I have found, to feeling hopeful is having self-discipline. As humans we have free will, we are in control of ourselves. Go out, meet people, take opportunities and find hope. I know it isn't easy but trust me as soon as you put you mind to going out and doing amazing things hope will come pouring in straight away! Remember, it may be a bad day, week, month or even year - but it is not a bad life. Good luck with your ventures to finding lifelong hope and happiness! :)
June 24th, 2020 4:47pm
A particular quote I like is, "Appreciate the little things in live, because life is made up of little things." Try to appreciate one small, beautiful thing every day. This could be the glint of sunlight filtering through your window onto the floor. It could be the way your coffee was just right this morning, or the way the breeze feels against your skin. It can be difficult to feel hopeful when things feel like they're falling apart, but taking time to appreciate the small things that make up the world can ground you and remind you that there are reasons to live and feel joy found everywhere you go.
June 27th, 2020 5:56am
honestly , i just think the moment we start appreciating ourselves the most is the moment we fall in love with ourselves , with our enviroment , with everything around us . the moment we start seeing things differently will be the moment we start seeing ourselves differently . In order to feel all this joy , we should give to recieve , we should be kind and heplfull that's when we will recieve kindness and help , that s when we know we aren't here for a specific reason , we are here for ourselves , so just start living , start enjoying everyday and every moment and HELP people , that's how you will feel hopeful
June 28th, 2020 8:08am
I am so so sorry that you are feeling like this and are having to go through this. Pain is temporarily. It won't last forever, remind yourself that. Sometimes you have to go through hardships to remind yourself how strong you really are. Something that might help is starting a journal. Write down somethings you are grateful for, 5 things you love about yourself, what makes you happy, favorite moments, hard things you went through that you made it out of. Do a little bit at a time, to know that there is good in the world and you will get through this.
July 11th, 2020 2:49am
Take the day one step at a time. Start a journal talk to friends more keep your self busy. and if your tired take a nap break cause you need it make a list of things that you want to complete throuh out the day that way you know what you want to do and try to do as many as possible and if you cant do them all thats ok too because then you have something to do the next day. taking it one step at a time will help to build your motivation and make it easier to find.
August 1st, 2020 1:38pm
Victor Frankl, a psychologist from 20th century developed a new branch of psychology called Existential Psychology. He professed that people sometimes experience an existential vacuum and lose interest in life and living and the motivation to go on, because they lose meaning for life. He wrote a book called 'Man's Search for Meaning' in which he mentioned 3 ways in which people can find meaning in life: 1) Finding meaning through love This involves finding your purpose to live through love and caring for yourself or someone else because it may be able to bring you some kind of meaning and satisfaction. 2) Finding meaning through work This involves pursuing your passion and exploring it, making progress and creating. It fuels not only your growth, but also your well-being and will to go on. 3) Finding meaning in suffering This involves finding your own meaning and understanding for suffering, which makes it bearable. In his book, he gave the example of a person who came to him with overwhelming grief because he had just lost his wife and could not find any will to continue. Frankl asked this man to imagine himself in his wife's shoes if their roles were reversed and it was him who had died instead, to think of all the grief she would have to go through and how much suffering he had saved her. This perspective made this individual's suffering bearable because he could live knowing that he had saved a loved one from pain. Hope this answered your question!
August 9th, 2020 8:45pm
Why don't you keep a victory log of all the things that you have achieved in your life so far that are positive, and write a plan for yourself every day so that you have something to look forward to say like 1. Read a book 2. Go for a walk 3. Watch tv show, and put mealtimes inbetween and stick it on your kitchen wall? You are not alone in feeling like its pointless to live, we just have to remind ourselves of our past triumphs and how we can achieve them again, and remind ourselves of our friends and family who care about us very much.
September 6th, 2020 12:54pm
I totally understand the way you are feeling, sometimes you have those days where you get out of bed and have zero motivation and no energy, try to just breath for a second, and think about what makes you happy, and why you are still alive. For example your best friend and partner your dog anything that you feel a connection with, then get up and do what makes you happy, live for you not anyone else. If you feel unmotivated, listen to a podcast about motivation. Don’t just sit around, do what makes you happy. Life is never pointless I promise you, you were put on this earth for a reason, you just need to figure out what it is.
September 26th, 2020 4:53pm
When Im not feeling like life is working out I try to focus on the positive things, and how I can change what i am able to change. Struggling with finding purpose is hard, but focusing on things that make you happy can help. Going for a walk or meditation can help clear your head. Writing in a journal (on your device or get a book specifically for your thoughts and dreams) that are only for you to see is something that helped me. I dont feel judged, and I can just be me. I hope this helps, and just stay strong things will change if you work towards it ?
October 7th, 2020 11:04am
I feel this way often mainly because of the situation right now but I have noticed that keeping a journal helps. I write down things I am great full for including even the simple things such as food and I also include some goals that I want to achieve in a day these consist of for example, 3 out of 5 things that I would normally do in a day such as taking a shower or watering my plants. At the end it makes me happy that I checked off some things on the list and my day was not a waste.
October 18th, 2020 6:27am
Depression to me is when nothing is wrong around me but everything inside feels hopeless and a wreck. No money problems, no family problems but inside is a wreck. Things that once brought you joy no longer seemed fun. Concentrating was so hard and almost impossible. And you try a lot of things to make yourself better but everything is futile. I understand you feel like this but there will be better days and you will push through them you need to be here for your friends and family don't give up buddies, life's to short :)
October 26th, 2020 3:35am
I have felt like this too. I started to learn new skills and practise old ones to keep me engaged and away from all the negativity. you could learn to develop a new mindset this way and you will see yourself enjoying it. this new skill can be singing, learning a new instrument , dancing, painting. just tell yourself that everything in life will just sort out fine and whatever is my situation right now, it will not remain forever. this too shall pass one day. try to avoid if the negativity around you is too much, talk to new people and make new friends. talking to a new set of people doesn't mean u will tell them about the bad things that are happening right now in your life, u can just make a good conversation about good and happy things. all this need to b done to distract yourself from the negativity. stay happy and blessed dear!
November 21st, 2020 4:44pm
A key factor in solving problems is firstly, identifying the problem. It may sound like it’s really obvious at times but once you take note of it, you’ll see that there may be more to a feeling then you think there is. That’s how you start on the journey of re-enacting the feeling of hope. Starting out with the temporary motivation would be my first approach into solving something like that. I would ask myself what, when, where, how and who are the key sources that impact on my motivation. “When am i more motivated?’’, and “what makes me motivated” or “when is my limit” is what I would ask myself. This will be made clear to you what you should avoid and what you should consider trying to practice more. Notice how I hadn’t ask myself why I feel the way I feel. In my case, it’s like asking why do you breathe? I breathe because I live so as I feel because I’m alive. It’ll only keep you running in circles and dwell in your own assumptions. The next thing I would do is to rationalize and my own opinions or assumptions with things that are actually happening around me. (I do not mean or is assuming that what you know is not true but there are times when our emotions are much stronger than reality) I understand it’s a hard exercise to do but there’s nothing that willingness, practice and consistency cannot improve. Asking what am i telling myself, what am i assuming, what conclusions am i drawing to myself and is there relevant reason or logic behind it is important. This will help you realize and label your emotions that leads you to think that life’s just black and white. The other reason why identifying and realizing is so important is because it’ll give you a sense of purpose to keep going. Hope comes from changes and changes come from effort in solving the issues. I really hope this helped even if it’s a little bit. I understand where you’re coming from because I’ve been there before myself. I wish the best of luck for you!
December 3rd, 2020 2:39am
Know that your life can and will change. You can change your life. Help is available. Take advantage of it. Don't isolate yourself. You are alive and every day forward is a new day. Where you are in your life with your problems is temporary. Again, you can get help if you seek it. I hope that this helps. You can change your thinking and change your circumstances. You are already trying to be hopeful. You can do it. You are trying to get support. Please get some help. Take it one step at a time and your life will not feel so overwhelming.
January 23rd, 2021 4:56am
I am so sorry to hear - Have you been looking after yourself recently? Self - care goes a long way in benefiting your mental wellbeing. Even the little things make a difference like getting enough sleep and exercising :) If you have no motivation to do any self-care activities, start small - take it one step at a time. -With meditation : Start with a 5 minute guided meditation before moving onto longer ones. - Exercise - start with walking, before moving onto jogging, etc. - Sleep - if you have trouble sleeping, try breathing exercises and journaling to vent all your feelings. Hope this helps :)
April 10th, 2021 1:37pm
That is a really hard thing to go through! It's always best to remind yourself that you do have a support system, let it be teachers, friends or family. If you're able to tell them your how you're feeling, they'll be able to lift so much weight off your shoulders and they might be exactly what you needed. I'd also recommend working towards a goal. Maybe if you get 1 hour of work done, you can reward yourself with your favourite chocolate or 2 episodes of a show you're watching. That type of thing. In terms of feeling hopeful, remind yourself why you're doing this. Keep thinking about what it will lead to whether it's a job or school or anything. Just remind yourself that everything will pay off in the end!
May 26th, 2021 12:44pm
Find something you enjoy doing. Find something that gives your life purpose. Something that you want to do every time you get up in the morning. A habit. Something that would take up your time. Fing joy in family and friends. Try to make abucket list and do those things that will excite you. Try new things, get new passions, experience hapiness through travelling. Talk to random people. Help people. Volunteer for a cause close to your heart. Get a pet and give it all the love it deserves. Help family with problems. Go for a hike. The possibilities are endless
June 3rd, 2021 5:02pm
Motivation is important but it is impossible to be motivated 24/7 of your entire life. Rest is equally as important too. If you are struggling to do daily tasks then maybe start with smaller tasks and create small to-do lists every day will help you keep on track of things. There will be days where you will have no motivation at all, and that is ok. Don't dwell in that sense of feeling 'useless' or 'unproductive'. Be patient with yourself and be sure to give yourself rest and self-care when you are burning out. We live in a busy world and a busy society, but it is ok to do absolutely nothing sometimes too.
June 30th, 2021 2:59am
A lot of times, people feel this same way. In my personal experience to this, I feel like it's best to do the things that you love, and to do them without feeling like you'll be judged for it. Your life is yours, and going through this state of life is tough, but knowing people care and will be there for you has always been a huge motivator for me. Even if I can't talk to someone in that moment, I know I'll be able to talk to someone eventually, talking to people and knowing they care is an amazing feeling.
July 28th, 2021 4:24pm
We do feel that way, there must be times when we feel hopeless but giving up is not an option, do the things you’ve always wanted to do, something that makes you genuinely happy and relaxed. Focus on yourself and you’ll make it hopefully! 💖 look at the positive side of everything. After every stormy night there’s always a sunny morning. Have faith in yourself, wake up every morning telling yourself you can do it. Take out time to cherish YOURSELF. You’re doing a great job and know that there’s always a meaning to life. You will just be fine.💖
August 15th, 2021 2:25am
Hey, I've been there too and I know how hard even finding the will to get up can be, and I'm so sorry you have to go through that. Personally, I always try to look for small things that give me that good old serotonin boost, however small. Just today I stopped and smiled for about 5 minutes because I saw This strong sprout breaking through the concrete by a trashcan. As small and common as it is, I just think about how lively that little plant is, even thriving next to literal trash. Some days seeing one nice action exchanged between people is enough to keep me going. If you have the energy for it, journaling can be a great coping mechanism. It allows you to express yourself whether through words or creatively. There also many guides on how to start. Another habit that boosts my mornings is my affirmations. Every morning, I say my daily affirmations. It can be something as small as "I feel hopeful for today" or "today will be less sucky than yesterday", just to remind yourself of how good you're doing. Another good mental boost is reminders. I have an app on my phone (daylio) that let's you log what you accomplish in a day, and even gives you the option to see a progress chart. You can set goals like drinking a certain amount of water, getting x hours of sleep, or even just getting out of bed. When you accomplish those, I get a notification banner to congratulate me, and that always make me feel a bit better. Building habits like these are actually scientifically proven to rewire your brain into thinking more positively. I had a teacher once, whose favorite was to once a day, our class was to write down any one positive thing we can think of and put it in a jar. When we weren't feeling our best, she'd let us open the slips in the jars and read about what's made us happy lately. If everything is feeling grey and muggy as it so often can be, even just finding the tiniest splotch of yellow can make you want to see more. If you've read this far, good on you! You may not know me but know I'm in your corner! :)
October 7th, 2021 6:45am
It would be to find the purpose in life or perhaps a goal you would like to achieve or for some what helps them to be hopeful is the constant reminder of how beautiful or fun their future is going to look like. All these are are easier said than done i must admit but if you are willing to spend even little time to do something you love or find it, that would make you feel hopeful to and even increase confidence. These things are common things someone would tell you and they are right but in order to get this feeling going, you have to start with something small everyday to look forward to, it could that nice cup of coffee you love or even meeting a friend etc....
October 24th, 2021 1:03pm
Hi. This is strictly my opinion: Take some time off. Think about the good parts of life. Think about the parts of your life that make you happy, reasons why you should stay strong and just not succumb to that hopeless feeling. Write down the things that make you feel hopeful, the things that make you feel alive, and think of them when ever you need motivation. Avoid feeling sorry for yourself. When thoughts like that come, think about why you should feel proud of yourself instead. Think about what you want for your future, and how you can't get it by staying that way. Staying Motivated can be hard, but you can do it.
January 7th, 2022 7:10am
If you find yourself unable to find motivation that 'sticks', it may be a sign that it is time to create space to explore and re-evaluate what is valuable to you. What is important to you in life, what motivates you, what gives your life meaning? What would you like to accomplish at the end of your life - or conversely, what kind of life would you feel unsatisfied about leaving? Confronting these difficult questions will bridge a path to self unity. It is often disillusionment with ourselves or strife between conflicting motivations that is the core cause of depressive and apathetic symptoms. When we are unable to reconcile this (often because we are afraid or avoiding) we enter a state of imbalance. True motivation is that which challenges us and requires real courage to accept, while false motivation only hides these problems from us momentarily.
January 12th, 2022 11:17pm
What I understand is that something in your life right now troubles you. It is very normal to feel like that at some point. Why don't you try to communicate with people who feel the same way? Some of your friends might be experiencing similar problems! Even a small talk can help because you will give voice to your thoughts. You can also go for a walk outside and try to observe your surroundings. At the same time, try to take some deep breaths and, finally, remind yourself of all the difficulties that you have managed to overcome throughout the years
January 19th, 2022 1:06am
When I feel hopeless, I take it as a sign of burnout or stress. I have learned over the years that these feelings of hopelessness are the times when I need to listen to my body. I try to remember my family and friends and all the wonderful times I have shared with them. I also put on a comfort movie or two. It might be helpful to take time to reflect on what events have made you feel this way, it can also be a good time to journal and listen to music, write, sleep, talk to someone you love; these are the things that help me to feel hopeful again.
January 23rd, 2022 9:53pm
Sorry to hear it, you must have been feeling overwhelmed. But that's OK, this happens sometimes. Perhaps you could find something you enjoy doing before and pick them back up! I know that you may feel like not sensing any motivations even for things you use to enjoy doing. You could also make some plans or goals which you would like to pursue, talk to your friends and family, or maybe spend some time on your own, go to your favorite restaurant. I am sure you will get through it! and remember, you are not alone, and we are here for you!